85 pair of knickers, a pink battery-powered thing, and a brimful of contagious lust ( Archived) (39)

Dammit!

I need clues of how to make this woman blush.
Barren?
Nothing makes a woman as good in bed as when you’ve first managed to make her blush.

Sat in a restaurant, you make your excuse, leave for a few short minutes, with a tickle in your shorts and a smug smile on your face, and then as you return, as you’re approaching your table, from behind her, while she’s distracted by the man in white shirt, bowtie and a black vest opening the Amour de Deutz 1999, you lean forward, gently move the lock of hair covering her left ear to the side with your left index finger, while resting your other hand on her shoulder, and whisper into her ear:

- Woman, you are so sexy, I want to love you with my groin for such a long time tonight that we’ll create a whole new nation of China, or do you prefer India!?

I need to make this woman blush.
I will.
I can.

HIGHWAYMEN, MOUNT UP!

OK, no more Helium Dihydroiodide for you, pal!

Hmm.. I found out that no matter what I did, my better half would not blush.

Unless I told her with a smile - "You are blushing now". Then she blushed ..

Lovely creation this thing called woman.

Deja vu

I blush all the time, why do you guys like it so damn much!

If you heat up between your ear
You're hot down there

I should copyright that. It's a chorus of a hit to become.

Fascinating...

How bloody fascinating.

Should I blush now?

Walk me through the pink battery powered implement...

You have lost me there...

for myself if the blush starts at the chest then I know I'm doing something right

oh really!

And here I was thinking that I found you.

You had me at 'woman'


You found me....

Be assured of that.

Now go...

Eat and think of more ways to make me blush.

But I think you know how to do that.

I am certain of it.

Madam, I bid thee farewell for the time being, but trust me word - may me horse drop rotten in a bad case of leprosy-aids if I break it - that I shall be back sooner than Nathaniel, my partner in crime horsed right next to me here, figures out who smacked him over the head, as I now smack him over the head…

<SMACK!>

I have a list, it is long list, of ways to make a fine madam blush. Many of these ways do not involved touching, even. These are the most……. profound, so to say, ways of a attracting the rosy cheeks on a tender-eyed bosom of affection.

Teasing without touching, as taught by the secret sect of a 13th century Tibetan swingers-club, is where I got my education.

Watch out!
Beware!
You can’t be prepared for what pleasures await!

Good nigh’ for now.

(bloody horse… always the wrong way…. THIS WAY, you bloody toy-less Happy Meal!)

Madam, I'm back.

I knew you would be....

I just knew, you see....

Ah, Kevin hi there...

Worcester Sauce please, do not forget now, I need it badly.

You see, aside from my cheese on toast, I need to pour on this man...

So I can lick it all off...