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How to ward off unwanted attention (96)

Oct 28, 2008 2:23 PM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
Elley
ElleyElleyCadiz, Andalusia Spain201 Threads 1 Polls 4,916 Posts
see there,s this old girl, nearly seventy an she,s got the hots for yours truly. Thing is she,s a kind of friend and so I really don,t want to be brutal. Problem is, if I,m too direct I know she,ll get all defensive and say what ever made me think she fancied an old twat like me. She has now invited me out for her birthday and I really am not up for it at all. Serious ideas for a serious problem folks.sigh
Oct 28, 2008 2:47 PM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
CuspofMagic
CuspofMagicCuspofMagiclight, South Australia Australia320 Threads 2 Polls 10,696 Posts
---She is a friend and she has asked you out for her birthday--- do you celebrate friends /birthdays --- go if so- if not dont . If/when things get a little sticky - the truth -- shes 'licked the pavement" for seventy years Im sure there will be no surprises that she cannot handle/deal/grow with --
Oct 28, 2008 2:52 PM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
Lagoona22
Lagoona22Lagoona22Bugibba, Majjistral Malta249 Threads 28 Polls 18,518 Posts
Ya gotto cut that fine line between being firm, and breaking their hearts....but you cannot afford to go along with it, because in the end you'll lose her as a friend anyway...just VERY diplomatically explain why you can't make it....and don't mention the fact that you don't fancy her...make an excuse...the best would be that you fancy someone else...so if she has any compus mentus, she'll get the message..

...it's a tough one...


Elley: see there,s this old girl, nearly seventy an she,s got the hots for yours truly. Thing is she,s a kind of friend and so I really don,t want to be brutal. Problem is, if I,m too direct I know she,ll get all defensive and say what ever made me think she fancied an old twat like me. She has now invited me out for her birthday and I really am not up for it at all. Serious ideas for a serious problem folks.
Oct 28, 2008 2:56 PM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
Lagoona22
Lagoona22Lagoona22Bugibba, Majjistral Malta249 Threads 28 Polls 18,518 Posts
Remember the quote from Shakespeare...."Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"


professor
Oct 28, 2008 3:07 PM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
tinaferrara
tinaferraratinaferraraedinburgh, Lothian, Scotland UK17 Threads 278 Posts
i would just be straight,even though it might hurt,its best in the long run and she isnt a young girl,who cant deal with that
Oct 28, 2008 3:37 PM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
breezee
breezeebreezeeathens, Attica Greece23 Threads 1,744 Posts
Do Not Be Straight!!! scold

Do what Lago said and tell her you've got the hots for someone else. Lying is always the best policy (in these instances, at least uh oh ) Give her a chance to back off herself before you go and offend / hurt the woman.

Also, by the way, I can't imagine we all necessarily become less sensitive / hurt as we get older. For some reason I imagine quite the opposite. dunno Old age is a lonely place for people who are alone.
Oct 28, 2008 3:46 PM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
Lagoona22
Lagoona22Lagoona22Bugibba, Majjistral Malta249 Threads 28 Polls 18,518 Posts
What she said...

I can only imagine how she would feel....

...rejection is difficult to handle at any age...but for a woman of 70, who is infatuated in a younger man??...rejection would be devastating...crushing..
..
...handle with care...


breezee: Do Not Be Straight!!!

Do what Lago said and tell her you've got the hots for someone else. Lying is always the best policy (in these instances, at least ) Give her a chance to back off herself before you go and offend / hurt the woman.

Also, by the way, I can't imagine we all necessarily become less sensitive / hurt as we get older. For some reason I imagine quite the opposite. Old age is a lonely place for people who are alone.
Oct 28, 2008 4:23 PM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
MARTI
MARTIMARTImsida, Majjistral Malta44 Threads 3,635 Posts
You should be proud Elley boy...don't disappoint her on her birthday..It'll mean a lot for her..so go ahead and make her feel special. Just be yourself. You'll be doing a good deed towards a friend.comfort
Oct 28, 2008 4:47 PM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
phoenix
phoenixphoenixparis, Ile-de-France France103 Threads 4 Polls 5,247 Posts
Elley: see there,s this old girl, nearly seventy an she,s got the hots for yours truly. Thing is she,s a kind of friend and so I really don,t want to be brutal. Problem is, if I,m too direct I know she,ll get all defensive and say what ever made me think she fancied an old twat like me. She has now invited me out for her birthday and I really am not up for it at all. Serious ideas for a serious problem folks.


Simple tell her f**k off...serious Elley. Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind.
Oct 28, 2008 5:00 PM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
gingerb
gingerbgingerbLetterkenny, Donegal Ireland10 Threads 1 Polls 6,330 Posts
You didn't say what kind of friendship you have with her. Is she a long time friend? Is she an aquaintance friend? Is she someone you recently met? Do you tell her your innermost secrets, or do you just smile passing in the street and fetch her groceries? Have you flirted with her? How long have you known her?

How you deal with this depends very much on what your relationship with her really is. Is this a real life friend or someone from on here?

All of that stuff influences both how you handle it and the outcome.hug
Oct 29, 2008 5:58 AM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
guiriman
guirimanguirimansouth of milan, Lombardy Italy66 Threads 6 Polls 2,964 Posts
I think the situation should be depersonalised.

Maybe I am wrong, but I presume the reason you are not interested in a relationship is the age difference between the two of you - i.e. if she were nearer your age, there wouldn't be a problem.

I would tell her in very general terms that you are not attracted to women of her age - maybe use a example of someone who is dating a much older person to highlight how unpalatable you find it - and leave her to react in whatever way she feels she needs to.

It is not often in life we get such a fantastic opportunity to see true friendship.

I hope it works out well for both of you.
Oct 29, 2008 6:22 AM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
smoky
smokysmokyUnterland, Zurich Switzerland300 Threads 6 Polls 13,267 Posts
Okay, here`s my input .... I had a sort-of similar situation once, not with an older person, but with someone who was my friend - a man - (obviously!). We were good friends, the sort who confided things to each other, cried on each others shoulders when down, smoked a joint together now and again, etc.

Then came the day when I noticed a gleam in his eye ...... and he insinuated that we should get together - Oh Dread! I simply roared with laughter into his face, between tears of mirth I said he is just not my type - a friend yes, a boyfriend NO! Told him to piss off and when he`s back to normal to come back, that he must not confuse himself with "getting ideas" about me.

Well, he went away, and when he did return, he had found himself a nice girlfriend - and we are all (the three of us) still very good friends to this day.

So, I would say - if the person is your Friend, treat them like a friend - be honest with them. This woman is wanting someone to be with her on her birthday. If you don`t want to be with her, then YOU are not her friend. Get ready to roar with laughter - if...................! If she is upset, then that`s her prerogative? If she laughs with you ... then you still got her friendship.cheers
Oct 29, 2008 6:25 AM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
Sommerauer71
Sommerauer71Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria164 Threads 4 Polls 19,249 Posts
Just be yourself, if she is smart, she will know anyway...
Oct 29, 2008 7:07 AM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
Elley
ElleyElleyCadiz, Andalusia Spain201 Threads 1 Polls 4,916 Posts
Ok, maybe it would be better to explain that she is more someone I am friendly with when we meet on my way to work. She is not somebody I have actually ever socialised with, it just happens that I have to walk past her house (door always open) pretty much on a daily basis. She,s always making passes at me, but passing them off as jokes.uh oh
Oct 29, 2008 7:17 AM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
Elley
ElleyElleyCadiz, Andalusia Spain201 Threads 1 Polls 4,916 Posts
smoky: Okay, here`s my input .... I had a sort-of similar situation once, not with an older person, but with someone who was my friend - a man - (obviously!). We were good friends, the sort who confided things to each other, cried on each others shoulders when down, smoked a joint together now and again, etc.

Then came the day when I noticed a gleam in his eye ...... and he insinuated that we should get together - Oh Dread! I simply roared with laughter into his face, between tears of mirth I said he is just not my type - a friend yes, a boyfriend NO! Told him to piss off and when he`s back to normal to come back, that he must not confuse himself with "getting ideas" about me.

Well, he went away, and when he did return, he had found himself a nice girlfriend - and we are all (the three of us) still very good friends to this day.

So, I would say - if the person is your Friend, treat them like a friend - be honest with them. This woman is wanting someone to be with her on her birthday. If you don`t want to be with her, then YOU are not her friend. Get ready to roar with laughter - if...................! If she is upset, then that`s her prerogative? If she laughs with you ... then you still got her friendship.


Yeah, maybe I,ll go, twould be immature not to, just don,t want to lead her on, but if she chances it......f*ck it I,ll go.Thanks Smokey.wine
Oct 29, 2008 7:20 AM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
phoenix: Simple tell her f**k off...serious Elley. Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind.
Don't Be Cruel.....laugh
Oct 29, 2008 7:22 AM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
Lagoona22
Lagoona22Lagoona22Bugibba, Majjistral Malta249 Threads 28 Polls 18,518 Posts
Where's Phoenix today??


Conrad73: Don't Be Cruel.....
Oct 29, 2008 7:26 AM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
Elley
ElleyElleyCadiz, Andalusia Spain201 Threads 1 Polls 4,916 Posts
Lagoona22: Where's Phoenix today??


Maybe some young bint told him to f*ck off.rolling on the floor laughing uh oh
Oct 29, 2008 7:27 AM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
Lagoona22
Lagoona22Lagoona22Bugibba, Majjistral Malta249 Threads 28 Polls 18,518 Posts
Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Post-Of the Week Award...


banana applause cheering


Elley: Maybe some young bint told him to f*ck off.
Oct 29, 2008 7:37 AM CST How to ward off unwanted attention
Elley
ElleyElleyCadiz, Andalusia Spain201 Threads 1 Polls 4,916 Posts
Guys, gottago,AGAIN.!!!!! Catch you all later.wave
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