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is kindness always the right choice? ( Archived) (61)

Oct 28, 2008 2:36 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
mindfful
mindffulmindffulChicago, Illinois USA307 Threads 9 Polls 25,009 Posts
im nobody
im just another member of CS and the planet
trying to find my way and grow...

i have been wanting to pose this question/thread for about a week
it seemed kinda not specific enough?

oh well

there it is

i signed out-stuff to do...but i felt like comin back for a second to post this

im not asking if some deity prefers it
im not suggesting i always do right
im just wondering-a smattering of input

is it always appropriate to be kind?
i think we can be kind and release people-
as in not be suckers

but do we feel bettter-really-in any type situation when our response is kindness-?
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Oct 28, 2008 2:42 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
mindfful
mindffulmindffulChicago, Illinois USA307 Threads 9 Polls 25,009 Posts
yeppers


16 views no posts



rolling on the floor laughing
















handshake
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Oct 28, 2008 2:43 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
Sometimes I wonder if we can actually choose kindness.
But then again is it really that simple?
I believe it's not always.


The good news is that we do have a choice.
We can control how we act and react to challenging situations.
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Oct 28, 2008 2:45 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
Thalassa
ThalassaThalassaRome, Lazio Italy131 Threads 3,572 Posts
If the choice is kindness vs. cruelty, kindness is always the best answer.
If by "kind" you actually mean "dishonest" (such as making up a reason for lack of interest in another, when the real reason is because you don't find them attractive)....well, I still think kindness trumps the honest answer.
In fact, I am hard pressed to think of a situation where kindness would be the wrong choice. I can be very direct with people when they are not very nice to me, but I don't need to be unkind when I am direct. Firm, direct, to the point....but not unkind. I just see the alternative as unnecessary.
And do I feel better for it? Yes, I do. At least, I don't feel like a total heel.
Hey, whattaya know? I guess I DO have a conscience!!!
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Oct 28, 2008 2:45 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
scorpiosiren
scorpiosirenscorpiosirendrogheda, Louth Ireland35 Threads 1 Polls 1,943 Posts
its nice to be nice but then their is tough love
depends on the situ
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Oct 28, 2008 2:52 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
brokenspirit
brokenspiritbrokenspiritLittlespot, Nebraska USA53 Threads 803 Posts
somechick: Sometimes I wonder if we can actually choose kindness.
But then again is it really that simple?
I believe it's not always. The good news is that we do have a choice.
We can control how we act and react to challenging situations.




I find some people or situations make me very un- kind . I do not like myself much when I get that way and am very thankful it does not happen often. Sometimes I find if you can't be kind it is better to just walk away or maybe in this case, get out of that particular thread and cool off a bit. When I was on CS before I left 2 years ago to get married I got into it with a guy that said he thought I was a wonderful Christian lady until he saw me post that I was listening to Kid Rock and a lady(can't remember which one) sing Pictures. It got very nasty and was pulled. Now, looking back, the right thing for me to have done was not even respond to him.teddybear
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Oct 28, 2008 3:04 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA99 Threads 20,283 Posts
jlb684: If the choice is kindness vs. cruelty, kindness is always the best answer.
If by "kind" you actually mean "dishonest" (such as making up a reason for lack of interest in another, when the real reason is because you don't find them attractive)....well, I still think kindness trumps the honest answer.
In fact, I am hard pressed to think of a situation where kindness would be the wrong choice. I can be very direct with people when they are not very nice to me, but I don't need to be unkind when I am direct. Firm, direct, to the point....but not unkind. I just see the alternative as unnecessary.
And do I feel better for it? Yes, I do. At least, I don't feel like a total heel.



^^^What she said. hug
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Oct 28, 2008 3:08 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
rasgumby
rasgumbyrasgumbyMoberly, Missouri USA133 Threads 13 Polls 6,929 Posts
mindfful: yeppers16 views no posts


Maybe you posted it too kindly??
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Oct 28, 2008 3:09 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
PILIPALA
PILIPALAPILIPALACardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK220 Threads 5,912 Posts
Depends on what you call kindness. If you telling someone something just because you think they want to hear not kind. Also sometime you have to be tough with some one for their own good, they might not perceive this as kindness, but as long as its not done to score points etc its an act of kindness
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Oct 28, 2008 3:10 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
rasgumby
rasgumbyrasgumbyMoberly, Missouri USA133 Threads 13 Polls 6,929 Posts
rasgumby: Maybe you posted it too kindly??


When people are overly kind... I watch to make sure their pants stay up because I realize I am about to get screwed!!wave wink
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Oct 28, 2008 3:11 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
Depends on the situation at hand. Sometimes, being kind is like giving certain people (so called) permission to treat you as a doormat.



Play it by ear, I say ...
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Oct 28, 2008 3:29 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
tipaly81
tipaly81tipaly81Moscow, Idaho USA71 Threads 15 Polls 1,334 Posts
Hey mindful, wave

Kindness as a choice. confused Guess it is possible, though I think that as children we are taught to be nice and extremely sensitive to other peoples feelings. This propels many people to feel that kindness and sincerity is the appropriate response to most given situations. Though I know that others are more likely to kind and giving towards children, animals and the elderly simply because that is who they feel deserve it.

I suppose after doing a kind deed you can feel really good and at ease for having done something for another human being. However, acting for one's own gratification should be the last on one's list. (of reason to perform a kind deed, btw) But not all people are propelled by the same emotions, sensations, urges as other people. Maybe there are kindness junkies out there; they have to commit random acts of kindness for a sort of fix, who knows dunno anything is possible. grin

I do believe that it is good for the soul to be humane and responsible for how we treat other people. That we can be tested or feel as if we are being tested with some of the situations and people that we encounter. It's as if our souls are having a "check-up" to see how in tune we are w/ our surroundings and other living things. Taking care of one another is the best way to insure that we are a strong community, since a community is only as strong as it's weakest link.

Oh lookie here, I started to prattle right along and can't seem to stop. The kind thing to do would be to shut-it, but don't know that I want to. I know you can skip right past me conversing and I can keep on my little conversation w/ my bad self. banana conversing conversing conversing banana wink Okay, think I am done . . . . for now anyways. Take care all. wave

Tip
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Oct 28, 2008 3:38 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
BnaturAl
BnaturAlBnaturAlSarnia, Ontario Canada141 Threads 8 Polls 10,411 Posts
kind is kind, right is right, never the twain shall meet. dunno



wave
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Oct 28, 2008 4:48 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
Moema
MoemaMoemaBrasilia, Distrito Federal Brazil58 Threads 5 Polls 1,054 Posts
Compassion to me is trying to put oneself in another´s shoes (is that how you say it?), and trying to understand instead of judging. It´s got to do with compassion, not pity. you don´t know where people come from, you don´t know where they are going. All you know is the picture you´ve just taken, and all you can do is try to understand why they do what they do, why they are how they are. Doing that you may find whatever the problem is, it´s got nothing to do with YOU, so why bother?

Now, being KIND is even when you realize you probably have nothing to do with it, you still try to ge there for them, through advice or presence, meaning you take no offense. But that´s not always possible. People aren´t always apt to facing things, and it´s useless trying to talk to some or show them any point, as they will not accept kindness, feel humiliated and actually try to kick your a**.

It all depends on whether YOU take offense or not, and how the extent of the offence really makes a difference in your life. Most of the time, it won´t.

Could go on about this, but I tend to be prolix (is there this word in English?) so I´ll stop here.
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Oct 28, 2008 4:51 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
sweetowen
sweetowensweetowenSomewhere, Pennsylvania USA344 Threads 5 Polls 11,456 Posts
Moema: Compassion to me is trying to put oneself in another´s shoes (is that how you say it?), and trying to understand instead of judging. It´s got to do with compassion, not pity. you don´t know where people come from, you don´t know where they are going. All you know is the picture you´ve just taken, and all you can do is try to understand why they do what they do, why they are how they are. Doing that you may find whatever the problem is, it´s got nothing to do with YOU, so why bother?

Now, being KIND is even when you realize you probably have nothing to do with it, you still try to ge there for them, through advice or presence, meaning you take no offense. But that´s not always possible. People aren´t always apt to facing things, and it´s useless trying to talk to some or show them any point, as they will not accept kindness, feel humiliated and actually try to kick your a**.

It all depends on whether YOU take offense or not, and how the extent of the offence really makes a difference in your life. Most of the time, it won´t.

Could go on about this, but I tend to be prolix (is there this word in English?) so I´ll stop here.


Very well-put, Moema!! applause applause
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Oct 28, 2008 5:01 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
Kevint
KevintKevintWorcester, Home of the sauce, West Midlands, England UK13 Threads 727 Posts
its all dependant on the circumstances. sometime when kindness is offered it gets thrown back in ones face, that can cause hurt and conflict, and then its best to walk away, knowing you at least tried, and it was their decision not to take hold of your kindness
If however the kindness is taken at its face value, then you can also walk away, but now knowing you have hopefully helped that person.


Maybeconfused dunno
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Oct 28, 2008 5:11 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
shipoker58
shipoker58shipoker58Las Vegas, Nevada USA35 Threads 4,332 Posts
Kindness is always right. But honesty can be kind! Honesty doesn't have to be mean...it IS more fun, though!!!!!rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 28, 2008 5:12 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
Moema
MoemaMoemaBrasilia, Distrito Federal Brazil58 Threads 5 Polls 1,054 Posts
shipoker58: Kindness is always right. But honesty can be kind! Honesty doesn't have to be mean...it IS more fun, though!!!!!


laugh thumbs up bouquet
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Oct 28, 2008 10:32 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
thewall2
thewall2thewall2montreal, Quebec Canada68 Threads 13,392 Posts
Sometimes,people who are kind to you,you appreciate them,but you don't respect them.The people you respect are the people who see through you and call you on b.ullshit,even though you hate them for doing it.You can hate that S.O.B most of the time.....but you RESPECT THEM.

It's like someone's house being on fire,the KIND person pats you on the back and tells you,''Don't worry,many people's houses are on fire!"

The person you respect will tell you,''Grab the f'ckn HOSE and burn the fire out!!''


very mad


I DON'T care what anybody sats,when it's 3 o'clock in the morning,and your world is turning upside down,and people are starting to look funny,you better have at least one person in your life who you CAN RESPECT.......... AND WHO WILL GIVE YOU STRAIGHT ANSWERS.
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Oct 28, 2008 10:33 PM CST is kindness always the right choice?
thewall2
thewall2thewall2montreal, Quebec Canada68 Threads 13,392 Posts
thewall2: Sometimes,people who are kind to you,you appreciate them,but you don't respect them.The people you respect are the people who see through you and call you on b.ullshit,even though you hate them for doing it.You can hate that S.O.B most of the time.....but you RESPECT THEM.

It's like someone's house being on fire,the KIND person pats you on the back and tells you,''Don't worry,many people's houses are on fire!"

The person you respect will tell you,''Grab the f'ckn HOSE and burn the fire out!!'' I DON'T care what anybody sats,when it's 3 o'clock in the morning,and your world is turning upside down,and people are starting to look funny,you better have at least one person in your life who you CAN RESPECT.......... AND WHO WILL GIVE YOU STRAIGHT ANSWERS.


SAYS........
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by mindfful (307 Threads)
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