Silly star sign joke 2 ( Archived) (44)

THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR SIGN!!
If you can´t laugh at yourself, stay out of this one please.

Aries
You think you´re so frank, independent, righteous and powerful... well, that´s what YOU think. You love to boss people around and set everything on fire, especially enjoying to have to wrestle for it. You can´t really influence anyone, although you like to show off your "power". Aries make good football judges, mothers-in-law and street cleaners.

Taurus
You are determined and work like a dog. Most people think you´re stingy and a hard-head, and they´re right. Your persistence makes you so goddam boring. You are a gluton, you love nature, beauty and being loved. Taurus make good bar sports narrators, encyclopedia salespeople and home decorators.

Gemini
You´re an extrovert, curious, humored, intelligent and a phony. Your laziness and inconsistency make you a first-class manipulator. You don´t care about other people´s feelings and you love to cheat, with no damage to your conscience. Gemini make successful politicians, circus artists, soap opera actors and cheaters.

Cancer
You are lonely, defensive and understanding with other people´s problems, what makes you very cheesy. You think yourself so unlucky and unloved. You compassion, emotivity and sensitivity make the man of Cancer a real p****. Cancer makes great hairdressers, best girlfriends and novel readers.

cont.

Leo
You think of yourself as a natural born leader. Others find you a complete idiot. You are vain, arrogant, proud and impatient, as if you were the last Coke in the desert, and you deal with criticism roughly. Leos make excellent traffic police, judges, dictators and emerging socialites.

Virgo
You´re the logical, hard-working, analytical, shy kind and you hate disorder. Your organized and detail-loving attitude is sickening to your friends and workmates. You are cold, non-emotional, and you often sleep while you´re having sex. Virgos make excellent bus shcedule controllers, seamstresses and jigsaw addicts.

Libra
You´re artsy, discreet, balanced and idealistic, with high taste for harmony and beauty. You need to protect others and fight injustice, but just because you want something in return. Libra are perfect lawyers, architects and nightclub managers.

Scorpio
You´re the worst of them all. Suspicious, resentful, obsessive, malicious, pessimistic, proud, cynical and a gossip. You just love your mom and yourself. Scorpios makes good terrorists, nazis, dentists and IR agents.

Guess that explains why I wanted to be dictator of the world when I was little.

Sagittarius
You´re an optimist, adventurous, enthusiastic and very happy-go-lucky. You definitely need luck, because you are exxagerated, childish, indisciplined, limited and unable to focus. That explain why so many saggitarius are never sober. They make fantastic waiters, reporters and casino owners.

Capricorn
You are conservative, serious, cold, inflexible as a stainless steel pan. Your fidelity and patience do not hide your materialistic and ambitious side, but who cares? As long as cash is flowing in... Capricorns are very successful as bankers, brokers or just at home counting money.

Aquarius
You have a creative mind focused on progress. You lie and make the same mistakes repeatedly because you´re stupid and stubborn. You love soap operas, chatting with friends and being fashion. If you´re a man, beware! Aquarius men are great union representatives, fashion designers, ans sometimes both at the same time.

Pisces
You´re a daydreamer, mystical, sensitive and you give yourself too much. If you´re a man, odd are you´re gay. You are full of useless advice and you do nothing but bore all those who approach you. Pisces women make great TV Kids programs and porn actresses.

THE END

Also explains why I take special pleasure in telling people what to do and making myself unbearable. Aries, me.

think you got it bad?....i'm a pisces...... ..............

I thought you´d say that. If it´s any help, Hitler was an Aries, and that´s me. We all know you´re not a nazi, and I´ve been punk enough in my days to watch what nazis do. Please don´t take it personally. I´m a Sex Pistols fan.

We would have clashed. I wanted to be Queen of The World.
Different from Dictator of The World in the sens that I´d have been chosen by God.

Having divorced two of them, I'll attest to this! Truest of all I've read so far! They especially make good Nazis and terrorists!

(Please, it's a joke...no offense meant to any Scorpios other than the ones I've divorced.)

thanks but, i got my own.....

No, Brother, we would be terrorists.



Or I.R. Agents. Not sure which is worse.

Yeah, and better than being a dentist anyway.

Lord!

C´mon, reveal yourself.

Please don't make me, i beg you!