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Dave the Hen ( Archived) (10)

Oct 31, 2008 11:01 PM CST Dave the Hen
desmond
desmonddesmondkissimmee, Florida USA586 Threads 13,816 Posts
Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke, he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed. 'Who the hell are you?', demanded Dave, 'and what are you doing in my bedroom ?'

The mysterious man answered, 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter.'

Dave was stunned. 'You mean I'm dead !!! That can't be, I have so much to live for - and I haven't said goodbye to my family. . .. You've got to send me back straight away.'

St Peter replied, 'Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.'

Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around, pecking the ground.

'This ain't so bad', he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, 'So you're the new hen, How are you enjoying your first day here ?'

'It's not so bad', replies Dave, 'but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode.'

'You're ovulating', explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before.'

'Never', replies Dave.

'Well just relax and let it happen'.

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him . . . Ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting...

'Dave, wake up, you drunken bastard. You've crapped the bed!..
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Oct 31, 2008 11:05 PM CST Dave the Hen
KrazieStill
KrazieStillKrazieStillChardon, Ohio USA18 Threads 5,214 Posts
barf rolling on the floor laughing tongue
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Oct 31, 2008 11:10 PM CST Dave the Hen
rwantin
rwantinrwantinRoyal Oak, Michigan USA21 Threads 11,127 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing Oh man...
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Oct 31, 2008 11:27 PM CST Dave the Hen
southerngurl08
southerngurl08southerngurl08little rock, Arkansas USA2 Threads 13 Posts
EEEWWWWWW!!!!barf
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Oct 31, 2008 11:28 PM CST Dave the Hen
jpunk
jpunkjpunkEdinburgh, Lothian, Scotland UK55 Threads 8 Polls 2,879 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing


Excellent one Des!!!handshake cheers
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Nov 1, 2008 12:47 AM CST Dave the Hen
mastic55
mastic55mastic55Long Island, New York USA217 Threads 10,073 Posts
jpunk: Excellent one Des!!!
The Brownden egg,thumbs up
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Nov 1, 2008 1:03 AM CST Dave the Hen
friendsfirst
friendsfirstfriendsfirstBurbank, Illinois USA122 Threads 1 Polls 7,648 Posts
that was funny.jaw drop

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Nov 1, 2008 2:45 AM CST Dave the Hen
wolfpack
wolfpackwolfpackpost falls, Idaho USA8 Threads 904 Posts
very funny Desrolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Nov 1, 2008 3:10 AM CST Dave the Hen
venere08
venere08venere08Puglia and Autumn, South Australia Australia147 Threads 2 Polls 14,452 Posts
Thanks desmond!

And what a golden eggzample of CS storytelling!

laugh
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Nov 1, 2008 3:53 AM CST Dave the Hen
livinglarge
livinglargelivinglargein a good place, Kildare Ireland13 Threads 8,222 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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