Siblings ( Archived) (14)

I have gone though the most of my life as an only child, only I’m not, I have a sister, she is 6 years older than me, she was adopted by my parents when they were informed that my mother could not bear children, I am the proof that was a lie.
But my sister became strange, had many many problems. At school, as a teenager and throughout her life, she has a condition known as being a Pathological liar among other things. So you never know what she is going to say or do next, you can’t have a proper conversation as it will turn into lies, hence my problem with liars as in another thread.

My parents tried so hard to help her, but it was to no avail and at 18 she left home, I have spoken/written/seen her maybe 10 times since then, she is now 60, I feel guilty now, because I always wanted a sister, a real sister, and yet I have one and I will write to her today, but she can never be the sister I have in my head.

So have you ever at some time in your life wished that you could have a brother or sister that you could share something with? Something, its not important what, just to have that sharing?

Outside of the resonance of this thread's intention I would like to add to the construct of lying.

Lies are the substance by which we as people create the bastions and ramparts of the fortresses, which unnecessarily 'protect' us from the world around us. Each lie we tell requires more and more lies to substantiate the ideal. When this twisted skein is applied to those around us they require as much work to maintain as another entire life. Eventually the person birthing these fictitious views is so overwhelmed by the pressures of this new 'life' that they lose their original one. By now so much effort and constant work has been applied to the fortress of illusion that we live in, that we cannot abide the loss of our life's great work, when it begins to crumble as it inevitably will. First one crossed wire in the web, then another, then the panic stricken frenzy of trying to realign the 'truths'. The multitude of bandages applied to the castle can no longer support the fragile foundation and the keep comes crumbling down. Despair sets in as the 'life' created falls to pieces despite the most valiant attempts to rebuild the crumbling edifice. This despair is no less real than any other despair, because even though the fictional house of cards we applied as our front to the world was never really there, the resources required to create it were real nonetheless. Now the person has a choice to abandon the fraudulent for reality. Human nature and the pride associated with it, make a subtle attempt to assure the person that they can do better next time, after all if at first you do not succeed, try, try again. The truly wise abandon the course of deceit, but then again life is all but over when the true course of wisdom arrives at one's doorstep. Most often the repentant learn a few new tricks to the art of misconstruction, and sets sail for new lands in which to build glass houses more resistant to the stones of truth. If this is the course chosen, as is sadly to be expected of most, the person gradually becomes a shadow of their former self as the energy allotted to a person's life divided by two (or more) makes each fragment not truly whole in any way. The whole person has a fair chance of living life to its fullest, the fragmented, none at all. The liar ends up with nothing, but the sands of their ‘lives’, which slip constantly between fingers, made of frail shadow. The only means to the end of such despair is the creation of yet more illusions, to the point of the loss of the liar to all who once knew them. A burden the liar never intended for themselves in the first place nor the loss they envisioned for the living they leave behind. A very lonely sort of wasting created by the grey lies that burn in the light of truth at every dawn.

Back to the thread I likewise have a sister who suffered much of the same traumatic childhood yet in her lies the polar opposite of my own self and the two cannot coexist in the same place for long without negatively impacting each other or one devouring the other. I have fought much too long and hard to allow this loss of who I am and she has fought equally hard and long to maintain her own incarnation. I do miss my sister but she is lost and only through her own course, a trail I cannot follow in my heart.

I have a brother, who is four years younger than me and I adore him... Always have done and always will . He takes the greatest care if me when I have really needed it...

Kevin, I am sorry that your sister is this way... Barren is right as usual in his description lies...

There is nothing that can be done about that and her way.

Do not feel guilt, write her and visit if you must for family sake, but no guilt eh? You have nothing to feel guilty about in wishing for a sister that you were close tio.

I will be your sister if you like, when I come home to the UK, we can pop out for drink, I am not far from you at all...

i have 8 brothers,and a sister,but shes late(died in a plane crash)even though i had nothing in comon with her(she was way younger than i was)i still miss her.as for my brothers..crazy bunch(they are never around when you feel the need to talk)so yes sometimes i do miss the feeling to share something with them.

I can honestly say that I cannot imagine life without my brothers and sisters.
I am the youngest of 5. We are all very close and get on well, there is little that we don't share to be honest.
My life would be lacking without that standard of relationship.
As for lying, I hate it. Completely unnecessary! Maybe it's best that she isn't in your life?

Perhaps in your reflection you are doing some wishful thinking.

Barron, you have, as usual, seen with clear eyes, you understand,I have taken on board your words.

Simply........Thank you

A family of 7 kids.



Me, my twin and one sister, are from my dad's second marriage. Three girls and one boy, from his first.
I'm the youngest (me and my twin).



First one moved back home from the states with her family, second one in Britain, one has always lived in Kenya, and four are here. My first born sister's kid is here too.

My steps took care of the three of us, when my mother died, and my father didn't care. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for them, and i also thank my mother for being the only mother they would have wanted.

I'm off to call my eldest, she's 40, her first child is here with us ( he's 20 in college, and having a child next month), one in Uni in Nairobi, and my only niece still playing with her barbies. She sent me a text yesterday, saying we have been too quiet, i forget to be sister, not a good thing.


I love my family, and thank God for them all the time! Each one of them has taught me something, and we have our ups and downs.


We are not perfect but the word 'steps' is not a word used with us, not even in arguments.