Observing The Fabric Of Personalities. ( Archived) (29)

This reminded me of something I read ages ago - I just found it again and it does sound really odd but I think it has a layer of truth........

The Onion Principle

Layer 1 is the outer layer with smooth protective skin. Outside this layer is the world at large including the people we meet, do business with, work with, and with whom we have social contact.

Layer 2 is the first inner layer. This is for friends, pals and others we know and like.

Layer 3 is the next inner layer. This is for close family members, and close friends we know and trust.

Layer 4 is for romantic, trusting friendship (boyfriend/girlfriend)

Layer 5 is for embarking on a loving long-term relationship

Layer 6 is for the children if the onion is a parent

Layer 7 is for a total partnership of love and commitment

Layer 8 is the innermost layer (the place where your "inner child" lives). It is your most personal, private inner emotional space.

It is important to understand that an onion does not practice universal mistrust of others. That’s unhealthy. An onion is simply a discerning person who knows that emotional layers are precious, and should only be revealed and shared when empathy, trust and understanding have reached a point where it’s safe to go to the next layer with another person.

Opening up a deep emotional layer to another person prematurely, especially to a person who will not, or cannot respond in kind, is a sure step towards a failed relationship. A problem for some people is that they naively confuse romantic infatuation with real love. This makes them think they can safely share their emotional layer 5 or even their layer 7 when, in reality, they should be only at emotional layer 3 or 4. If they discover that the other person has abused a deep inner emotional layer they have revealed and shared with that other person, the result can be devastating.

The happiest people I have met are the onions who understand themselves and the people around them. They manage their layers well, knowing which emotional layers are for acquaintances, friends, loved ones and their life partner.

Happy onions also know that taking responsibility for looking after their own inner emotional needs at layer 8 is the greatest gift they can give to themselves. Our inner layer needs our continuing care and attention if each of us is to thrive as an emotionally secure person.

I am a happy onion. Are you? If you are not, explore your inner self, identify your emotional layers and start learning how to manage your relationships with others. A good life coach can assist you if you need help.

Chris Joscelyne

Or a happy onion

I´m a happy onion...though people complain they don´t get past level 3 very easy... they say I´m closed... I say I´m discerning.

hahaha I agree with you - discerning it is