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Cows and Pigs ( Archived) (16)

Nov 5, 2008 8:59 PM CST Cows and Pigs
Moema
MoemaMoemaBrasilia, Distrito Federal Brazil58 Threads 5 Polls 1,054 Posts
Father John was intrigued about why the number of weddings had decreased in his county. Asking the church members, here´s what he got:

Bobby Joe says: "wha do we gotta ba thu whole cow, if we can just milk´em for free?"

Bobby Jane says: "wha do we gotta ba thu whole pig, if we can just have the sausage?"
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Nov 5, 2008 9:01 PM CST Cows and Pigs
Moema
MoemaMoemaBrasilia, Distrito Federal Brazil58 Threads 5 Polls 1,054 Posts
Gosh it´s hard telling a joke in a second language!!!!
This just didn´t sound right lolrolling on the floor laughing blues
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Nov 5, 2008 9:02 PM CST Cows and Pigs
jpunk
jpunkjpunkEdinburgh, Lothian, Scotland UK55 Threads 8 Polls 2,879 Posts
confused would a female police officer be a cow and a pig??? dunno


tongue rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing head banger
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Nov 5, 2008 9:05 PM CST Cows and Pigs
Moema
MoemaMoemaBrasilia, Distrito Federal Brazil58 Threads 5 Polls 1,054 Posts
jpunk: would a female police officer be a cow and a pig???


Meaning she´s got both milk and sausage?
How would I know... rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Nov 5, 2008 9:10 PM CST Cows and Pigs
RillyNiceGuy
RillyNiceGuyRillyNiceGuySoutheast, Arkansas USA1,208 Threads 1 Polls 18,965 Posts
A man was arrested for calling a Police officer a pig! The judge fined him $500. The man asked,"If I see a pig can I call it a Polcice Officer. The Judge said,"I don't see why not" The man turns to the officer who hauled him in and said,"Hello Police Officer"
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Nov 5, 2008 9:12 PM CST Cows and Pigs
jpunk
jpunkjpunkEdinburgh, Lothian, Scotland UK55 Threads 8 Polls 2,879 Posts
RillyNiceGuy: A man was arrested for calling a Police officer a pig! The judge fined him $500. The man asked,"If I see a pig can I call it a Polcice Officer. The Judge said,"I don't see why not" The man turns to the officer who hauled him in and said,"Hello Police Officer"



rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing


handshake cheers grin
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Nov 5, 2008 9:13 PM CST Cows and Pigs
RillyNiceGuy
RillyNiceGuyRillyNiceGuySoutheast, Arkansas USA1,208 Threads 1 Polls 18,965 Posts
wave cheers
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Nov 5, 2008 9:15 PM CST Cows and Pigs
RillyNiceGuy
RillyNiceGuyRillyNiceGuySoutheast, Arkansas USA1,208 Threads 1 Polls 18,965 Posts
One man says,"Why buy the cow when you can borrow your neighbors while he's at work."jaw drop
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Nov 5, 2008 9:16 PM CST Cows and Pigs
Moema
MoemaMoemaBrasilia, Distrito Federal Brazil58 Threads 5 Polls 1,054 Posts
Lemme try and make up for the last one.

Last night, I was invited for a girls night out. I tol my husband I´d be back by midnight. "I promise!" But time flew and drinks were flowing.

Around 3 am, drunk as a skunk, I went home. I had barely made it into the house, the cuckoo went off.

Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

Quickly, realizing my husband might have woken up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for having such a quick and brilliant idea, even being drunk, to avoid possible conflict with him.

Next morning, my husband asked what time I´d gotten home. "Midnight!" I said at once. He didn´t look at all suspicious. Whew! Got away with THAT one!

Then he said "honey, I think we need a new cuckoo". "Why?" I said.

"Well, last night our cuckoo went cuckoo 3 times. Then, I have no idea why, it went: SHIIIITTTT!!! Then it cuckooed again 4 times, and sneezed. Then it cuckooed another 3 times, giggled and cuckooed again twice Then it tripped on the cat, farted, puked on the carpet and went back inside the clock".
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Nov 5, 2008 9:17 PM CST Cows and Pigs
Moema
MoemaMoemaBrasilia, Distrito Federal Brazil58 Threads 5 Polls 1,054 Posts
RillyNiceGuy: A man was arrested for calling a Police officer a pig! The judge fined him $500. The man asked,"If I see a pig can I call it a Polcice Officer. The Judge said,"I don't see why not" The man turns to the officer who hauled him in and said,"Hello Police Officer"
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing cheers
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Nov 5, 2008 9:18 PM CST Cows and Pigs
RillyNiceGuy
RillyNiceGuyRillyNiceGuySoutheast, Arkansas USA1,208 Threads 1 Polls 18,965 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Nov 5, 2008 9:26 PM CST Cows and Pigs
RillyNiceGuy
RillyNiceGuyRillyNiceGuySoutheast, Arkansas USA1,208 Threads 1 Polls 18,965 Posts
My uncle was in court.

The judge says, "Your divoce is granted. I am going to give your ex wife $1200 dollars a month."

My uncle said,"Thats damn nice of you judge....I'll try to give her a dollar or two every now and then myself."

grin
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Nov 5, 2008 9:29 PM CST Cows and Pigs
jpunk
jpunkjpunkEdinburgh, Lothian, Scotland UK55 Threads 8 Polls 2,879 Posts
I'm sorry Moema, but yawn I found it funny 3 days ago when Imasquirly1 said the very same thing!!!doh
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Nov 5, 2008 9:37 PM CST Cows and Pigs
RillyNiceGuy
RillyNiceGuyRillyNiceGuySoutheast, Arkansas USA1,208 Threads 1 Polls 18,965 Posts
The judge tells my uncle..."you ran over a fence, glanced off a tree and wound up with your car in my swimming pool.........Were you drunk!!!

My uncle said,"Hell yeah I was drunk....you don't think I am one of those reckless drivers do ya?

grin
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Nov 5, 2008 9:43 PM CST Cows and Pigs
Moema
MoemaMoemaBrasilia, Distrito Federal Brazil58 Threads 5 Polls 1,054 Posts
jpunk: I'm sorry Moema, but I found it funny 3 days ago when Imasquirly1 said the very same thing!!!


What? When Where?
The cuckoo you mean?
I didn´t see it!!
Oh boy...doh
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Nov 5, 2008 9:44 PM CST Cows and Pigs
Moema
MoemaMoemaBrasilia, Distrito Federal Brazil58 Threads 5 Polls 1,054 Posts
RillyNiceGuy: The judge tells my uncle..."you ran over a fence, glanced off a tree and wound up with your car in my swimming pool.........Were you drunk!!!

My uncle said,"Hell yeah I was drunk....you don't think I am one of those reckless drivers do ya?


heheheheheh...
grin
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by Moema (58 Threads)
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