Fear ( Archived) (169)

Have not been personally fearful for 27 years or so. Having sustained multiple, violent, injuries I lost everything I owned, felt, or knew. No joke. Even walk with a slight limp today, with what I call a constant body toothache, as a result of injuries sustained, but the aches are nothing, and any limitations are minor. Learned there is nothing to be fearful of, has long as you have the knowledge, judgment, and strength, to deal with the, so called, fearful circumstance presented, and act accordingly.

My real fear is for others, not knowing this strength, its energy within us, and, either I calmly assist, or of controlled aggressive actions, act to negate the instance causing fear.

I fear starting over,the feelings of rejection and lonliness. I guess that I don't want to grow old alone.

I am real sure what all I could have a fear over, cause the minor ones I have always worked thru and found there was no real reason to fear to begin with. Like doing something new at work kinds of things.
In everyday life my main fear used to be Elevators and Escalators, from my fear of heights. My husband at the time knew I needed to get past that cause those things are every where. Hospitals , shopping malls, etc.
He helped to desensitize me by spending hours riding them with me. He would take me ocassionally on weekends to places to have to ride them. Of course he may have a few scars from my nails digging into his arms. But he kept it up till I could ride them by myself.
And it's a good thing he did all of that cause since our divorce 15 yrs. ago, I have had to go to many doctor appts. for my neck and I had to ride a lot of elevators by myself since.
I am very greatful to him to this day for that. I still have a fear of heights but I can now climb up on a chair too and reach things.
Fear can be overcome to have a normal life.

Fear of rejection. I can deal with being alone, even though I don't like it.

It sounds like he was a good man, and a patient one, too. What a blessing he was to you then.

Yes he was and I still hold love for him that will never go away. But it's not something that will hold me back from finding love again.
But he cheated and got into drugs with an old friend so he destroyed what we had. He destroyed the trust.
But I am still grateful to all he did for me when we were together that helped me thru my life.

I'm sorry to hear what happened...but at least you were smart enough to get out.

I still love a couple of exes and my late husband, but you're right, that doesn't stop me from being able to love another just as much when he comes into my life...there's room in my heart for another great love. I will expect that there are others in his past that he still loves to some extent as well because at these ages we all have pasts. IMO, if you truly loved someone, you always will...that doesn't mean you can't love another even more, or just as much.

I do have a wee bit of a fear of flying for the first time, although
I have been told if they know it's your first time they take very
good care of you. Just the thought of missing a flight because I
get lost in the terminal scares me.

Exactly real love can't be turned off, but it can be put out of the way when it all falls apart so we can love another. I have been around men who haven't gotten past someone in there past. I understand about it they will always feel that. But if he hasn't set that aside, he will never have that room in his heart for another. It took awhile to learn that. And I do pay attention now to how much someone is stuck in the past, they seem to have a fear of leaving that behind and moving forward.