Fella's do you really understand women..? (20)
...what he said....
phoenix: Folks this is a straight up question. Ladies, you can throw your two bits in too.
This is the craic, I'm a forty year old bloke and i have a busted relationship behind me. Like some people here.
Now the woman who I have most experience with is the enemy. And she has certain traits that i've since found in other women.
Top 10 Things Only Women Understand 10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun.
7. FAT CLOTHES.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.
2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten
minutes.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:
1. OTHER WOMEN!
1. OTHER WOMEN!
This is the craic, I'm a forty year old bloke and i have a busted relationship behind me. Like some people here.
Now the woman who I have most experience with is the enemy. And she has certain traits that i've since found in other women.
Top 10 Things Only Women Understand 10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun.
7. FAT CLOTHES.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.
2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten
minutes.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:
1. OTHER WOMEN!
1. OTHER WOMEN!
number10,
its good to have any number of shoes(preferably lots) of any colour, black are good, because you can wear them with anything, I have more than 10 pairs of black shoes
but the question is 'Do you really understand women?' and directed at men.
Why bother?
It's similar to stupid questions of the ilk:
'How many men does it take to change a light-bulb in the kitchen?'
The answer is, of course:
'Who cares? Let her cook in the dark!'
Asking if you understand women is a similar question........and we honestly don't need to know the answer.
As long as she loves you (even if you haven't got a clue why she loves you).......... you have nothing to worry about!'
My advice is to make yourself comfortable on the sofa, watch some footie on the tv and wait to see what she lovingly serves you up for supper!
Why bother?
It's similar to stupid questions of the ilk:
'How many men does it take to change a light-bulb in the kitchen?'
The answer is, of course:
'Who cares? Let her cook in the dark!'
Asking if you understand women is a similar question........and we honestly don't need to know the answer.
As long as she loves you (even if you haven't got a clue why she loves you).......... you have nothing to worry about!'
My advice is to make yourself comfortable on the sofa, watch some footie on the tv and wait to see what she lovingly serves you up for supper!
phoenix: Top 10 Things Only Women Understand 10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun.
7. FAT CLOTHES.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.
2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten
minutes.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:
1. OTHER WOMEN!
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun.
7. FAT CLOTHES.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.
2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten
minutes.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:
1. OTHER WOMEN!
My my.. what an interesting man you are Phoenix!
Okay, here .. let me assist you in your quest .....
Number 1. Women dont realy understand other women ... We`re genetically programmed to discover any secrets other women possess and that is why we gather and talk a lot - the more knowledge gained makes for more knowledge we then possess.
Number 2. We are polite. We allow the caller to determine the length of the phone call, just in case she has something she needs to tell and is waiting to gather her strength to divulge it - by which time we have forgotten Who made the phone call.
Number 3. Ever seen a woman with a decent hairstyle? No of course not. If its cut its a B-up! and so the quest for a New Improved hairdresser continues, relentlessly. Men dont have this problem, they all mostly have the same hairstyle, or no hair.
Number 4. Bathroom scales get affected by moisture and the time of day - impossible to get a TRUE reading.
Number 5. Its illegal to filch designer labels and sew them on the outside of a garment - so to find an original still with its label is the find of the century - equal to discovering a Cro-Magnon skeleton in ones vegetable garden.
Number 6. The salad, the diet drink, then qualifies for the Fudge Sundae - common sense innit?
Number 7. Fat clothes do exist. Unfortunately they only become Fat Clothes once they`ve been bought. Its a trade secret how they get manufactured to morph overnight into this strange phenomenon. Ordinary clothes older than 2 weeks also morph if someone says "Have you put on weight?" ....or "You`ve got a bum!"... or "You looking Very healthy!".. or "Are you pregnant again?".
Number 8. Crying is good - it releases emotional toxins - and restricts the chances of having a heart-attack, and lowers the blood pressure. If the crying takes place at a wedding then its generally sympathy with the new bride who is under false delusions of eternal happiness.
Number 9. Cream, Ivory, and Off-white. Beeeg difference. Cream is soft and sort of puffy. Ivory has a soft sheen and is elegant. Off-white is a delicate balance between New Not Quite White, and Old looking dirty white that is past its Best-By-Date.
Number 10. Shoes. As long as they`re in Her cupboard - they should not concern you. She needs to have all of them .....Backless with pointy toes, backless with round toes, backless sandals, Strappy sandals, strappy stilletos, closed in elegant, closed in casual, closed in rough `n tough, light walking, mediuim walking, heavy duty walking, quick shopping, all day shopping, cocktail, dancing, ......... and thats all needed in ONE colour .... then we get to the other colours ......... and then it all depends on what her friends are wearing, and what the weather is like, cause then she needs boots - low heeled boots; medium heeled boots; High heeled boots; with high muffs, medium muffs, low muffs, cowboy boots, hiking boots ...... etc .... get the drift?
So ... actually only 5 pairs in black is rather modest!
phoenix: Folks this is a straight up question. Ladies, you can throw your two bits in too.
This is the craic, I'm a forty year old bloke and i have a busted relationship behind me. Like some people here.
Now the woman who I have most experience with is the enemy. And she has certain traits that i've since found in other women.
Top 10 Things Only Women Understand 10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun.
7. FAT CLOTHES.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.
2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten
minutes.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:
1. OTHER WOMEN!
1. OTHER WOMEN!
This is the craic, I'm a forty year old bloke and i have a busted relationship behind me. Like some people here.
Now the woman who I have most experience with is the enemy. And she has certain traits that i've since found in other women.
Top 10 Things Only Women Understand 10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun.
7. FAT CLOTHES.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.
2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten
minutes.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:
1. OTHER WOMEN!
1. OTHER WOMEN!
perfectly understandable...
I don't see anything wrong with any of that..
as for hairdressers!
mine has just moved so ..... if finding my other half is hard work... imagine finding another hairdresser that I like
dragonfly88: perfectly understandable...
I don't see anything wrong with any of that..
as for hairdressers!
mine has just moved so ..... if finding my other half is hard work... imagine finding another hairdresser that I like
I don't see anything wrong with any of that..
as for hairdressers!
mine has just moved so ..... if finding my other half is hard work... imagine finding another hairdresser that I like
Of course its understandable.... especially number 6
Not even God understands women 
Jacko2: Not even God understands women
I thought god was a woman?
Surely you Jest.
dragonfly88: I thought god was a woman?
She is on odd days 
...but we make a mighty fine volleyball team...after we take off the heeled black shoes
big hugs Phoenix...
big hugs Phoenix...
Jacko2: She is on odd days
Are you saying that God has more pairs of black shoes than that Marcos woman ever had?
How very odd, God will never seem the same to me ever again! Kinda like Maggie Thatcher with a beard? Yikes!
(:Rolls around the floor laughing much more so than the emoticons on offer- which btw - arent working on my computer:)
Im saying --- Nuttin!
Im saying --- Nuttin!
Fella's do you really understand women..?....
guiriman: Fella's do you really understand women..?....
NO but i love em.
rusty_knight: but the question is 'Do you really understand women?' and directed at men.
Why bother?
It's similar to stupid questions of the ilk:
'How many men does it take to change a light-bulb in the kitchen?'
The answer is, of course:
'Who cares? Let her cook in the dark!'
Why bother?
It's similar to stupid questions of the ilk:
'How many men does it take to change a light-bulb in the kitchen?'
The answer is, of course:
'Who cares? Let her cook in the dark!'
Yeah, and then the question of shoes and clothes is the same.
She can cook barefooted and wear maternity clothes.
What more could she want???
RayfromUSA: Yeah, and then the question of shoes and clothes is the same.
She can cook barefooted and wear maternity clothes.
What more could she want???
She can cook barefooted and wear maternity clothes.
What more could she want???
want the list?
smoky: My my.. what an interesting man you are Phoenix!
Okay, here .. let me assist you in your quest .....
Number 1. Women dont realy understand other women ... We`re genetically programmed to discover any secrets other women possess and that is why we gather and talk a lot - the more knowledge gained makes for more knowledge we then possess.
Number 2. We are polite. We allow the caller to determine the length of the phone call, just in case she has something she needs to tell and is waiting to gather her strength to divulge it - by which time we have forgotten Who made the phone call.
Number 3. Ever seen a woman with a decent hairstyle? No of course not. If its cut its a B-up! and so the quest for a New Improved hairdresser continues, relentlessly. Men dont have this problem, they all mostly have the same hairstyle, or no hair.
Number 4. Bathroom scales get affected by moisture and the time of day - impossible to get a TRUE reading.
Number 5. Its illegal to filch designer labels and sew them on the outside of a garment - so to find an original still with its label is the find of the century - equal to discovering a Cro-Magnon skeleton in ones vegetable garden.
Number 6. The salad, the diet drink, then qualifies for the Fudge Sundae - common sense innit?
Number 7. Fat clothes do exist. Unfortunately they only become Fat Clothes once they`ve been bought. Its a trade secret how they get manufactured to morph overnight into this strange phenomenon. Ordinary clothes older than 2 weeks also morph if someone says "Have you put on weight?" ....or "You`ve got a bum!"... or "You looking Very healthy!".. or "Are you pregnant again?".
Number 8. Crying is good - it releases emotional toxins - and restricts the chances of having a heart-attack, and lowers the blood pressure. If the crying takes place at a wedding then its generally sympathy with the new bride who is under false delusions of eternal happiness.
Number 9. Cream, Ivory, and Off-white. Beeeg difference. Cream is soft and sort of puffy. Ivory has a soft sheen and is elegant. Off-white is a delicate balance between New Not Quite White, and Old looking dirty white that is past its Best-By-Date.
Number 10. Shoes. As long as they`re in Her cupboard - they should not concern you. She needs to have all of them .....Backless with pointy toes, backless with round toes, backless sandals, Strappy sandals, strappy stilletos, closed in elegant, closed in casual, closed in rough `n tough, light walking, mediuim walking, heavy duty walking, quick shopping, all day shopping, cocktail, dancing, ......... and thats all needed in ONE colour .... then we get to the other colours ......... and then it all depends on what her friends are wearing, and what the weather is like, cause then she needs boots - low heeled boots; medium heeled boots; High heeled boots; with high muffs, medium muffs, low muffs, cowboy boots, hiking boots ...... etc .... get the drift?
So ... actually only 5 pairs in black is rather modest!
Okay, here .. let me assist you in your quest .....
Number 1. Women dont realy understand other women ... We`re genetically programmed to discover any secrets other women possess and that is why we gather and talk a lot - the more knowledge gained makes for more knowledge we then possess.
Number 2. We are polite. We allow the caller to determine the length of the phone call, just in case she has something she needs to tell and is waiting to gather her strength to divulge it - by which time we have forgotten Who made the phone call.
Number 3. Ever seen a woman with a decent hairstyle? No of course not. If its cut its a B-up! and so the quest for a New Improved hairdresser continues, relentlessly. Men dont have this problem, they all mostly have the same hairstyle, or no hair.
Number 4. Bathroom scales get affected by moisture and the time of day - impossible to get a TRUE reading.
Number 5. Its illegal to filch designer labels and sew them on the outside of a garment - so to find an original still with its label is the find of the century - equal to discovering a Cro-Magnon skeleton in ones vegetable garden.
Number 6. The salad, the diet drink, then qualifies for the Fudge Sundae - common sense innit?
Number 7. Fat clothes do exist. Unfortunately they only become Fat Clothes once they`ve been bought. Its a trade secret how they get manufactured to morph overnight into this strange phenomenon. Ordinary clothes older than 2 weeks also morph if someone says "Have you put on weight?" ....or "You`ve got a bum!"... or "You looking Very healthy!".. or "Are you pregnant again?".
Number 8. Crying is good - it releases emotional toxins - and restricts the chances of having a heart-attack, and lowers the blood pressure. If the crying takes place at a wedding then its generally sympathy with the new bride who is under false delusions of eternal happiness.
Number 9. Cream, Ivory, and Off-white. Beeeg difference. Cream is soft and sort of puffy. Ivory has a soft sheen and is elegant. Off-white is a delicate balance between New Not Quite White, and Old looking dirty white that is past its Best-By-Date.
Number 10. Shoes. As long as they`re in Her cupboard - they should not concern you. She needs to have all of them .....Backless with pointy toes, backless with round toes, backless sandals, Strappy sandals, strappy stilletos, closed in elegant, closed in casual, closed in rough `n tough, light walking, mediuim walking, heavy duty walking, quick shopping, all day shopping, cocktail, dancing, ......... and thats all needed in ONE colour .... then we get to the other colours ......... and then it all depends on what her friends are wearing, and what the weather is like, cause then she needs boots - low heeled boots; medium heeled boots; High heeled boots; with high muffs, medium muffs, low muffs, cowboy boots, hiking boots ...... etc .... get the drift?
So ... actually only 5 pairs in black is rather modest!
Yes.
Ladies i'm starting to understand
More Threads
One week of the most outrageous GOP leadership!
I'm a 53 YEAR'S YUNG MAN that lives back in the 80s
Who will be The Last Person To Post... VERSION FOUR
your favorite topic?
If Our Profiles Were Truly Honest
beauty of the heart
Say Anything Again
Have it both ways!
Trump on Trial
biggest lie
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
Stats for this Thread
864 Views
19 Comments
in EU Forums
Created: Dec 2008
Last Viewed: Apr 6
Last Commented: Dec 2008
0 Likes
This is the craic, I'm a forty year old bloke and i have a busted relationship behind me. Like some people here.
Now the woman who I have most experience with is the enemy. And she has certain traits that i've since found in other women.
Top 10 Things Only Women Understand
10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun.
7. FAT CLOTHES.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.
2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten
minutes.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:
1. OTHER WOMEN!
1. OTHER WOMEN!