How to get by the day in a long distance relationship ( Archived) (58)

Feb 1, 2009 7:19 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
mike69spain
mike69spainmike69spainAlmuñécar, Andalusia Spain34 Threads 6 Polls 4,110 Posts
Just wanted to drop a few examples how we do it...

Morning - I wake up, kill the alarm and call one short "beep" on her mobile to show I am up, I have my coffee and I read the net news.

When she wakes up she do something similar, or did already since she is in another time zone ahead of me.

When I have my thoughts in order I give her a short call and tell her I still thinks she should have slept at my place instead. She normally agrees, but sometimes she need me to convince her that would actually be a better choice than her very cosy bed. A call of no more than 5 minutes and we quickly present each others plans for the day.

Siesta / afternoon - I send a text, from a simple love message to something more substantial depending on thoughts, questions and events. If she have a reply it will come, if not there will be a short beep back to acknowledge the message. If there was a question she will instead call back twice for a Yes, one for a No.

(A call back three times it means "call me as soon as you can".)

Evening - we log in to our messengers and use that to recapitulate the day, gossip and send images of things we seen and wanted to show. This can be everything from 10 minutes to the rest of the evening depending on things like work,going out with friends, TV or other things.

Often we end with calling and wishing good night, but even so, she will tuck in before me and I will call another short "beep" when I put my lights out.

Now, we have kept each other in our daily life all day, and all we missed was the physical side of the relation.

Long calls cost money, and high bills tends to be a stress for many. The system with beeps (one short for "got it" or NO!, two short separate for "YES!" and three for a call back) works really good.

If I simply call in the middle of the day in between all it means "I am thinking of you" and she will return it when she find out if she is not available at the moment.

We keep in touch, we keep each other a jour of events and we miss very little in spite of the distance.

Long distance can work out just fine, if you find ways of cutting the distance and the time spent away from her/him.

wine
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Feb 1, 2009 7:26 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
Wednesday74
Wednesday74Wednesday74Central, Florida USA3 Threads 1 Polls 813 Posts
Very creative! Good for you. Thank you for the ideas!
cool
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Feb 1, 2009 7:29 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
So sad.
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Feb 1, 2009 7:30 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
Sommerauer71
Sommerauer71Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria133 Threads 4 Polls 12,414 Posts
Ah Mike.

What a wonderful way, my friend to describe it.

I will do mine now.

Morning will begin with an SMS, from me, or him, saying 'Good Morning'

Although I received one the other day saying 'You are doing what?'

Hum, sometimes that man's way with words leaves me scratching my head.

Then we will exchange a few messages, maybe a call, to hear voices.

Then the fabulous Skype, usually at nights, but often late, I have not been arriving home from work until late over the last few months as you know, so he is often asleep. But most days we speak and I like that, it is all we have, although I am off again this week on travels. I often give him a call from my office, when I am having a breather.

Distance is hard, but it does work, with a means to an end as you and A, have and as we have.

Lovely thread.

And it is nice to talk about how people manage it.
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Feb 1, 2009 7:31 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA79 Threads 13,695 Posts
You two have a great system, and obviously a great relationship despite distance. Kudos, and Blessings! wine Thank you for sharing this, Mike.
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Feb 1, 2009 7:31 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
Sommerauer71
Sommerauer71Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria133 Threads 4 Polls 12,414 Posts
ooby_dooby: So sad.


Why ooby?
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Feb 1, 2009 7:32 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA79 Threads 13,695 Posts
Sommerauer71: Ah Mike.

What a wonderful way, my friend to describe it.

I will do mine now.

Morning will begin with an SMS, from me, or him, saying 'Good Morning'

Although I received one the other day saying 'You are doing what?'

Hum, sometimes that man's way with words leaves me scratching my head.

Then we will exchange a few messages, maybe a call, to hear voices.

Then the fabulous Skype, usually at nights, but often late, I have not been arriving home from work until late over the last few months as you know, so he is often asleep. But most days we speak and I like that, it is all we have, although I am off again this week on travels. I often give him a call from my office, when I am having a breather.

Distance is hard, but it does work, with a means to an end as you and A, have and as we have.

Lovely thread.

And it is nice to talk about how people manage it.


Cool, Sommer...and I wondered about Skype. I think you have to have one thing connected that I don't...a microphone hooked up to the computer, am I right?

Say hi to that nutter of yours from me. hug
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Feb 1, 2009 7:34 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
Tamarin
TamarinTamarinsomewhere, Lothian, Scotland UK173 Threads 1 Polls 3,267 Posts
Yep long distance can work...

But not for the faint hearted

It has to be worked at and little things such as texts and emailing a few times a day to tell each other about the little everyday things that is occurring in eachs of your lives is important...

I have seen an IM/messenger chat last for nearly three hours would that happen if you were with that person....I doubt it.
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Feb 1, 2009 7:37 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
coolieno1
coolieno1coolieno1point fortin, Point Fortin Trinidad and Tobago96 Threads 546 Posts
good system.applause
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Feb 1, 2009 7:40 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
mike69spain
mike69spainmike69spainAlmuñécar, Andalusia Spain34 Threads 6 Polls 4,110 Posts
ooby_dooby: So sad.


Not at all, it is what we call life and when we end up being apart for long periods this is a way to run it.

Sad is when you can not survive distance.

wine
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Feb 1, 2009 7:44 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
Tamarin
TamarinTamarinsomewhere, Lothian, Scotland UK173 Threads 1 Polls 3,267 Posts
ooby_dooby: So sad.


How is it sad...

Many people are in a long distance relationship for many reasons.

This thread is simply showing how to keep the romance, love and communication very alive.

When you do get the chance to be together it is all the more wonderful.
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Feb 1, 2009 7:49 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
mike69spain
mike69spainmike69spainAlmuñécar, Andalusia Spain34 Threads 6 Polls 4,110 Posts
Sommerauer71:

Then the fabulous Skype


We gave up Skype for the time being, we had too (read me) unstable connection and the phone calls kept being dropped.

Now we use Google Talk, since I have it on my cellular as well, but only for the texting functions.

I have a local number she can call on the Skype when she is at the office (government) and it will redirect to my phone here, but we never really use it, it is there for emergency calls. They have restricted numbers from their office and this works fine.

I imagine your messages being less mundane and more intricate in wordings than ours but you will get there as soon as he can no longer surprise you with his outbursts of insanity laugh
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Feb 1, 2009 7:50 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
Sommerauer71
Sommerauer71Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria133 Threads 4 Polls 12,414 Posts
druidess6308: Cool, Sommer...and I wondered about Skype. I think you have to have one thing connected that I don't...a microphone hooked up to the computer, am I right?

Say hi to that nutter of yours from me.



Skype is great, you can have an account, which I do for Europe, it is cheap and I make all my long distance calls this way.

Skype to Skype is free.

You need headphones and a mic, yes.

You should have two holes (no smutty responses here) for two plugs, one for the mic and the headphones.

Download it and you are set to go, you have a log in and password, it is easy.

I will, he is asleep, but I am there on Thursday.
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Feb 1, 2009 7:52 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
I find it sad that lovers can't be together for whatever reason. They should be seeing each other, touching each other smelling each other (scent is very important between lovers). I know how it feels to be apart from a loved one and it just struck me as sad they can't be together.
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Feb 1, 2009 7:55 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
mike69spain
mike69spainmike69spainAlmuñécar, Andalusia Spain34 Threads 6 Polls 4,110 Posts
ooby_dooby: I find it sad that lovers can't be together for whatever reason. They should be seeing each other, touching each other smelling each other (scent is very important between lovers). I know how it feels to be apart from a loved one and it just struck me as sad they can't be together.


It does get boring at times, but I think the very thought of being apart feels more sad then actually being in it.

You are right about the smelling... I kept the pillow case and her t-shirt as is... blushing

Things we do, adult or not laugh
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Feb 1, 2009 7:56 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
Sommerauer71
Sommerauer71Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria133 Threads 4 Polls 12,414 Posts
mike69spain: We gave up Skype for the time being, we had too (read me) unstable connection and the phone calls kept being dropped.

Now we use Google Talk, since I have it on my cellular as well, but only for the texting functions.

I have a local number she can call on the Skype when she is at the office (government) and it will redirect to my phone here, but we never really use it, it is there for emergency calls. They have restricted numbers from their office and this works fine.

I imagine your messages being less mundane and more intricate in wordings than ours but you will get there as soon as he can no longer surprise you with his outbursts of insanity



Our connection is quite good, the usual squabble about whose fault it is when we cannot hear each other, he wins, it is always mine.

Your last paragraph has me laughing, if you could see some of them, it would make you fall over with tears of laughter.

I owe him a 100 points at the moment, I gained 8 today for wit, still the bandit can wait until Thursday, I will make the other 92 up, but in a way that he will think he has had 192 and I have actually only worked about 50 (yes you, PPV I know you will read this)

Outbursts of insanity?

I get them all to myself now, at least before we had you lot to balance it all out.

Now, I have to work it all out on my own.
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Feb 1, 2009 7:56 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA79 Threads 13,695 Posts
ooby_dooby: I find it sad that lovers can't be together for whatever reason. They should be seeing each other, touching each other smelling each other (scent is very important between lovers). I know how it feels to be apart from a loved one and it just struck me as sad they can't be together.


Distance can happen without living far away. I agree...it's sad to not be able to share this with a loved one...and mine lives 10 minutes away. Our distance has other reasons...but we're getting closer to closing it.

That's when it's sad.

wine
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Feb 1, 2009 7:58 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
Sommerauer71
Sommerauer71Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria133 Threads 4 Polls 12,414 Posts
ooby_dooby: I find it sad that lovers can't be together for whatever reason. They should be seeing each other, touching each other smelling each other (scent is very important between lovers). I know how it feels to be apart from a loved one and it just struck me as sad they can't be together.



Yes, it can be sad at times, but then, as we do, we look forward to the next time, this time we have been apart for a month.

I would not let it go longer than a month.
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Feb 1, 2009 7:58 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA79 Threads 13,695 Posts
Sommerauer71: Skype is great, you can have an account, which I do for Europe, it is cheap and I make all my long distance calls this way.

Skype to Skype is free.

You need headphones and a mic, yes.

You should have two holes (no smutty responses here) for two plugs, one for the mic and the headphones.

Download it and you are set to go, you have a log in and password, it is easy.

I will, he is asleep, but I am there on Thursday.


Thank you...and I'm sure if I look in the box of spare equipment I never hooked up, I have the mic and headphones, too. It would be nice to talk with some of my overseas friends with this! thumbs up

And I'm glad you get to see him again Thursday. hug
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Feb 1, 2009 7:59 PM CST How to get by the day in a long distance relationship
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA79 Threads 13,695 Posts
mike69spain: It does get boring at times, but I think the very thought of being apart feels more sad then actually being in it.

You are right about the smelling... I kept the pillow case and her t-shirt as is...

Things we do, adult or not


laugh Good...and yes, there are some things one should never outgrow. wine
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