~Inspired by Pretzlman (I hope I spell it correctly)~ (50)
hmm i guess Love is just as natural as any other human emotion ..
soooo it must be a need in some, urge for some and a choice for some. I think it depends on how fair life has been to you and how lucky you have been to have such choices in the first place.
But it definitely is one feeling thats seen in all relations close to our heart ... something worth dying for.
soooo it must be a need in some, urge for some and a choice for some. I think it depends on how fair life has been to you and how lucky you have been to have such choices in the first place.
But it definitely is one feeling thats seen in all relations close to our heart ... something worth dying for.
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It is probably both. Except in rare cases I suspect that love is a choice to begin with. However it becomes much more like a compulsion or an undeniable and unavoidable reality after that and ceasing to be in love may not be a choice
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Konigsberg: Pretzlman said "yes...I think love is a choice, not a compulsion."
and it made me think .... Is it so?
So, my question for a debate is: Is Love is a free choice or is Love is a necessary urge?
Why do we always looking for somebody to Love? Is it an instinctive call of Evolution? Or just a fear to stay alone in a Dark room?
and it made me think .... Is it so?
So, my question for a debate is: Is Love is a free choice or is Love is a necessary urge?
Why do we always looking for somebody to Love? Is it an instinctive call of Evolution? Or just a fear to stay alone in a Dark room?
hmmmmm......... I think it would be really nice to find somebody to love to I dont feel compelled to do so - Im happy in my own skin and have no fear about remaining this way forever - it would just be nice to share, possibly even preferable but getting to this place where I enjoy my peace of mind wasnt easy and being on my own has been a major factor in achieving that........ I hope one day I will find somebody who I will trust enough to allow through my defence shields but till then, all is well
Hiya Hun
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I personally thing that love is a choice, lust or infatuation...on the other hand is a whole different matter!
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According to Maslow's heirarchy, it is a human need. I agree with that because it seems we're all driven to seek it just as we all seek shelter and food...it's the order in which we do these that differs at times, although overall, I agree with Maslow on this as well.
I know for me, I need a partner to love as much as I need oxygen.
I know for me, I need a partner to love as much as I need oxygen.
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riyablossom: hmm i guess Love is just as natural as any other human emotion ..
soooo it must be a need in some, urge for some and a choice for some. I think it depends on how fair life has been to you and how lucky you have been to have such choices in the first place.
But it definitely is one feeling thats seen in all relations close to our heart ... something worth dying for.
soooo it must be a need in some, urge for some and a choice for some. I think it depends on how fair life has been to you and how lucky you have been to have such choices in the first place.
But it definitely is one feeling thats seen in all relations close to our heart ... something worth dying for.
You see Riya ... co-called Love (I am not talking about Lust) is the only emotion which produce children, pain and broken harts. So ... Still we go for it ... Is it because we can't live on our own?
When it comes to have someone to cry on the shoulder or just to enjoy a day ... we do have friends for it. Right? Therefor we don't need
Why a human being running around the Globe trying to find someone? Is it necessity or a free choice?
I'm trying to look in it from a philosophical point of view.
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Konigsberg: Pretzlman said "yes...I think love is a choice, not a compulsion."
and it made me think .... Is it so?
So, my question for a debate is: Is Love is a free choice or is Love is a necessary urge?
Why do we always looking for somebody to Love? Is it an instinctive call of Evolution? Or just a fear to stay alone in a Dark room?
and it made me think .... Is it so?
So, my question for a debate is: Is Love is a free choice or is Love is a necessary urge?
Why do we always looking for somebody to Love? Is it an instinctive call of Evolution? Or just a fear to stay alone in a Dark room?
I believe we make a conscience decision to love an individual. I also believe that the desire to be loved is innate.
I am very aware of my fear of dying alone. BUT I also fear that no one will come to my funeral. These are very real fears. HOWEVER, I have never feared that I wouldn't be loved. My biggest fear was that I will never love anyone, so I put up defenses to make my fear a reality. Just to prove I was right.
Then, along came Sharon. Suddenly I wanted her love. I wanted to love her. But the walls I had built made love impossible.
BUT...I wanted to love. It was my decision to love this woman. I managed to break a hole in the wall. It took a lot of effort on my part, and while there are still defenses, I made the effort to love and accepted her love
Sorry to get long winded...but I wanted to clarify what I meant
Thank-you Konig...for your thoughts
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pretzelman: I believe we make a conscience decision to love an individual. I also believe that the desire to be loved is innate. I am very aware of my fear of dying alone. BUT I also fear that no one will come to my funeral. These are very real fears. HOWEVER, I have never feared that I wouldn't be loved. My biggest fear was that I will never love anyone, so I put up defenses to make my fear a reality. Just to prove I was right.
Then, along came Sharon. Suddenly I wanted her love. I wanted to love her. But the walls I had built made love impossible.
BUT...I wanted to love. It was my decision to love this woman. I managed to break a hole in the wall. It took a lot of effort on my part, and while there are still defenses, I made the effort to love and accepted her love
Sorry to get long winded...but I wanted to clarify what I meant
Thank-you Konig...for your thoughts
Then, along came Sharon. Suddenly I wanted her love. I wanted to love her. But the walls I had built made love impossible.
BUT...I wanted to love. It was my decision to love this woman. I managed to break a hole in the wall. It took a lot of effort on my part, and while there are still defenses, I made the effort to love and accepted her love
Sorry to get long winded...but I wanted to clarify what I meant
Thank-you Konig...for your thoughts
we knew all along you had a heart Shippy
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Fallingman: It is probably both. Except in rare cases I suspect that love is a choice to begin with. However it becomes much more like a compulsion or an undeniable and unavoidable reality after that and ceasing to be in love may not be a choice
Ahh! Brother Falling! You are a grand Dimplomat.
Basically you have answered ... or I think so.
This is how I perceive your answer: ... I know that I do not know anything.
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The body
The mind
The soul or spirit.
The flesh has its needs, controlled by the mind.
The mind has the control of the body.
The spirit and/or the soul can love anyway it wants.
I think it is evolution. In youth it is the reproductive reasons.
As we age I think it is the necessity of existence.
Yes, we may be alone by choice, but we still love.
The mind
The soul or spirit.
The flesh has its needs, controlled by the mind.
The mind has the control of the body.
The spirit and/or the soul can love anyway it wants.
I think it is evolution. In youth it is the reproductive reasons.
As we age I think it is the necessity of existence.
Yes, we may be alone by choice, but we still love.
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Well, K, your first question raises the issue of free will. Are people free to choose their basic psychological needs? Even those who advocate free will would shy away from such a strong (and clearly wrong) claim, I think. Love is probably a predominant psychological need, so it's not likely subject to choice.
Even if it is an ingrained psychological need, and thus not subject to choice, that doesn't mean that everyone is compelled to or even able to love, anymore than everyone is compelled to socialize (our social nature is surely inherent as well). There doubtless exist countless variations of the ability to love among individuals (as many variations as there are individuals, I'm sure), but I doubt "choice" per se has anything to do with that; rather those variations are functions of different individual natures. In other words, a person who "chooses" not to love is likely simply psychologically dysfunctional in ways that blunt his or her ability to love. They may think they're "choosing," but in fact are simply expressing their own psychological conflicts with respect to human relationships.
No one would doubt that the drive to live is inherent in human (and other living) beings, but sometimes we act in self-destructive, even suicidal, manners. This does nothing to dispute the power of the "life-drive," and nor does failing to love dispute the existence of an inherent "love-drive."
Even if it is an ingrained psychological need, and thus not subject to choice, that doesn't mean that everyone is compelled to or even able to love, anymore than everyone is compelled to socialize (our social nature is surely inherent as well). There doubtless exist countless variations of the ability to love among individuals (as many variations as there are individuals, I'm sure), but I doubt "choice" per se has anything to do with that; rather those variations are functions of different individual natures. In other words, a person who "chooses" not to love is likely simply psychologically dysfunctional in ways that blunt his or her ability to love. They may think they're "choosing," but in fact are simply expressing their own psychological conflicts with respect to human relationships.
No one would doubt that the drive to live is inherent in human (and other living) beings, but sometimes we act in self-destructive, even suicidal, manners. This does nothing to dispute the power of the "life-drive," and nor does failing to love dispute the existence of an inherent "love-drive."
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pretzelman: I believe we make a conscience decision to love an individual. I also believe that the desire to be loved is innate. I am very aware of my fear of dying alone. BUT I also fear that no one will come to my funeral. These are very real fears. HOWEVER, I have never feared that I wouldn't be loved. My biggest fear was that I will never love anyone, so I put up defenses to make my fear a reality. Just to prove I was right.
Then, along came Sharon. Suddenly I wanted her love. I wanted to love her. But the walls I had built made love impossible.
BUT...I wanted to love. It was my decision to love this woman. I managed to break a hole in the wall. It took a lot of effort on my part, and while there are still defenses, I made the effort to love and accepted her love
Sorry to get long winded...but I wanted to clarify what I meant
Thank-you Konig...for your thoughts
Then, along came Sharon. Suddenly I wanted her love. I wanted to love her. But the walls I had built made love impossible.
BUT...I wanted to love. It was my decision to love this woman. I managed to break a hole in the wall. It took a lot of effort on my part, and while there are still defenses, I made the effort to love and accepted her love
Sorry to get long winded...but I wanted to clarify what I meant
Thank-you Konig...for your thoughts
You "made the effort" and the "decision" to love...but did you actually achieve it, S? ------ This thread is Archived ------
Fallingman: It is probably both. Except in rare cases I suspect that love is a choice to begin with. However it becomes much more like a compulsion or an undeniable and unavoidable reality after that and ceasing to be in love may not be a choice
I'm guessing that if "ceasing to be in love" is not a choice, it's highly unlikely that "choosing to be in love" in the first place is, since they're both sides of the same coin, no? 
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jbibiza: I personally thing that love is a choice, lust or infatuation...on the other hand is a whole different matter!
So there is no certain answer? Damn we are lost in our wants and needs, forever
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I'm not sure I would say we are looking for love. Love is
complicated and yet simple(sounds crazy I know) But when I
think about love in the terms of loving someone I am in a
relationship with is different than the love I feel for
family and friends. Am I here on CS to because I want to
find love? Also not sure how to answer that. I personally
am not looking for the simple fact that (IMO) I don't feel
I can look for love. I can't go on the profiles of one of
my favorites for instance and say, ok, he is the one I am
going to love. If it is meant to happen it will happen and
I will be ecstatic. But if not I still have me, myself and
I and I am happy with that also. Did I confuse you enough?
JMO
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Ambrose2007: You "made the effort" and the "decision" to love...but did you actually achieve it, S?
yes, indeed. I am in love with Sharon and I love Sharon. We plan to have a life together. In two weeks she is coming to visit. We are going to look at homes in the area, and decide what part of Vegas we want to live in. Never have I felt such a connection to another person.
But I won't make the mistake of marrying her. That seems to bee the death knell!!
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druidess6308: According to Maslow's heirarchy, it is a human need. I agree with that because it seems we're all driven to seek it just as we all seek shelter and food...it's the order in which we do these that differs at times, although overall, I agree with Maslow on this as well.
I know for me, I need a partner to love as much as I need oxygen.
I know for me, I need a partner to love as much as I need oxygen.
Maslow...
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trish123: hmmmmm......... I think it would be really nice to find somebody to love to I dont feel compelled to do so - Im happy in my own skin and have no fear about remaining this way forever - it would just be nice to share, possibly even preferable but getting to this place where I enjoy my peace of mind wasnt easy and being on my own has been a major factor in achieving that........ I hope one day I will find somebody who I will trust enough to allow through my defence shields but till then, all is well
Hiya Hun
Hiya Hun
Oh eh! Piscies talking
... They call us Bohemians. We feel alive and comfortable as long as we craft our art. In general we are not in urge to have "somebody" .... It is just time from time Spirits are calling .... In a Spring time. Big hug to you, woman.
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Lust is the urge you speak of...
Love is a choice.....
Love is a choice.....
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and it made me think .... Is it so?
So, my question for a debate is: Is Love is a free choice or is Love is a necessary urge?
Why do we always looking for somebody to Love? Is it an instinctive call of Evolution? Or just a fear to stay alone in a Dark room?