How to Create Your Own Personal Economic Stimulus Plan ( Archived) (24)

(NaturalNews) Why let Congress have all the fun? You can create your own personal "economic stimulus plan" too. How do you do it? Just follow these five basic steps:

Step 1: Write a 1,000 page shopping list of all the stuff you want to buy.

Just type up a list of everything you've ever wanted to spend money on, but couldn't afford to: Cars, luxury clothing, jewelry, a big new house with a swimming pool, fancy art on the wall, exotic vacations, your own private jet... the sky's the limit!

Step 2: Go shopping with your credit cards

The next step is easy: Grab your credit cards and head to the malls. Shop for all the stuff that's on your 1,000-page shopping list. Run up all the credit you want!

Step 3: Print up counterfeit money to pay off the credit cards

Here's the really clever part: Just follow what the Federal Reserve does! Pick up a U.S. Treasury printing press and just start printing $100 bills like mad!

Step 4: Use the counterfeit money to pay off your credit cards

Next, take all the counterfeit money you've printed up and deposit it in your bank account. From there, simply pay off your credit cards. Voila! The debt is magically gone!

Step 5: Repeat!

But don't stop with doing it just once. Your own personal economics can be so downright stimulating, can't they? Invoke your economic stimulus process every few months, buying up all the things you don't really need while paying for it with money created out of nothing!

Oh yeah, and don't worry about all the other people being harmed by all the counterfeit money you're pumping into the money supply. They're all getting bailed out by the Fed anyway, right? Keep that printing press pumping!

What to do when the Secret Service arrives at your house
Just tell them this is about JOBS! You're creating JOBS! Like the jobs of all those people at the car dealer you bought from, and the shoe stores you shopped at, and the private charter jet company you hired on your round-the-world trip. All those people have jobs because of your personal economic stimulus plan, don't they? Who can argue with that?

And besides, you can tell them, "This is better than just DOING NOTHING, isn't it?" These Secret Service types apparently want you to just sit there and do nothing. That's silly when you could be running the printing presses and creating JOBS!

How stupid is this plan?
Now, obviously, this whole article is satire...

... or is it? Because, if you think about it, this is exactly what Congress has just authorized for the nation! It's a wild spending spree paid for with counterfeit money that's simply being created out of thin air as if the Fed were running a grand counterfeiting operation.

Simple, I would just allocate 700 billion for myself and allocate as needed.

Put a sheet of 100$ bills in the xerox, type in 100000000000000000 copies, prepare for paper jams, and sit back and collect. That's what they do at the treasury...

Let me rephrase that, I'll just take the 700 billion in gold bullion.

It's much easier to ink-jet colour photocopy the bills on facsimile paper. Most people could not tell the difference nor 'feel' it anyway; most would not know what security measures to check for at any rate. But as the so called 'real money' is already fake with absolutely nothing to actually back up its alleged value, you're perfectly right: start stimulating yo'self!!! Who are the real crooks anywho!?