Do we rush too much? (109)
Tinypaws: I spent a while in the company of a Jehovah's Witness. He had things wrong on other fronts, but did tell me how according to the bible we should go about finding someone slowly. Seems true Wintnesses still stick to dating only in the company of a chaperone. Sounds a bit extreme to me, but the principle seems to have something to it - to not rush into physical relationships before other essential bonds have been formed.
I look around and see how many of us nowadays jump into bed almost first thing. We are led by physical attraction, long before we can actually tell whether that other matches our true hopes and needs.
To be compatible physically is of course important, but a relationship is clearly made up of far more than time spent in bed together. Are we treating physical intimacy far too lightly? Are we ruining our chances for true intimacy by being intimite with basically strangers?
Looks a bit like we are bridling the horse from the wrong end these days, and a bridle on the tail of a horse surely does not lead to a smooth ride, or does it?
I look around and see how many of us nowadays jump into bed almost first thing. We are led by physical attraction, long before we can actually tell whether that other matches our true hopes and needs.
To be compatible physically is of course important, but a relationship is clearly made up of far more than time spent in bed together. Are we treating physical intimacy far too lightly? Are we ruining our chances for true intimacy by being intimite with basically strangers?
Looks a bit like we are bridling the horse from the wrong end these days, and a bridle on the tail of a horse surely does not lead to a smooth ride, or does it?
But if physical compatibility is of equal importance, then when it happens matters little. Personally think its our definition of relationship thats the problem.
@ freeman65
But does physical compatibility really show at the start? We might just be glad to get it after a 'dry period', or are just so overwhelmed by want that we don't recognize that it isn't all right? Dunno, just throwing thoughts out.
Definition of relationship and expectations are an issue though for sure, I agree
@ kidatheart
Totally with you on that we should decide away from doctrines, social pressures, whatever, but how realistic is it that we do? Especially social pressure and manipulation, I'd say, is now one of our strongest whips? 'End all, be all' to me seems to sort of tie in with the rushing. Looks related to me
@ peachmelba
I am agnostic, but do find it interesting to speak to people of religious believes. There can be food for thought in what they preach, without me abandoning my agnostic stance or accepting doctrines (I had a few despair over that as they thought me listening meant I was interested in joining their organisations, when I didn't eeps
)
I am not putting this forth for discussion to say people shouldn't be free to choose. Each to their own, just more wondering how aware we choose all of this, and whether we think about it or just do as it seems now common in modern society
But does physical compatibility really show at the start? We might just be glad to get it after a 'dry period', or are just so overwhelmed by want that we don't recognize that it isn't all right? Dunno, just throwing thoughts out.
Definition of relationship and expectations are an issue though for sure, I agree
@ kidatheart
Totally with you on that we should decide away from doctrines, social pressures, whatever, but how realistic is it that we do? Especially social pressure and manipulation, I'd say, is now one of our strongest whips? 'End all, be all' to me seems to sort of tie in with the rushing. Looks related to me
@ peachmelba
I am agnostic, but do find it interesting to speak to people of religious believes. There can be food for thought in what they preach, without me abandoning my agnostic stance or accepting doctrines (I had a few despair over that as they thought me listening meant I was interested in joining their organisations, when I didn't eeps
)I am not putting this forth for discussion to say people shouldn't be free to choose. Each to their own, just more wondering how aware we choose all of this, and whether we think about it or just do as it seems now common in modern society
Tinypaws: @ freeman65
But does physical compatibility really show at the start? We might just be glad to get it after a 'dry period', or are just so overwhelmed by want that we don't recognize that it isn't all right? Dunno, just throwing thoughts out.
Definition of relationship and expectations are an issue though for sure, I agree
@ kidatheart
Totally with you on that we should decide away from doctrines, social pressures, whatever, but how realistic is it that we do? Especially social pressure and manipulation, I'd say, is now one of our strongest whips? 'End all, be all' to me seems to sort of tie in with the rushing. Looks related to me
@ peachmelba
I am agnostic, but do find it interesting to speak to people of religious believes. There can be food for thought in what they preach, without me abandoning my agnostic stance or accepting doctrines (I had a few despair over that as they thought me listening meant I was interested in joining their organisations, when I didn't eeps )I am not putting this forth for discussion to say people shouldn't be free to choose. Each to their own, just more wondering how aware we choose all of this, and whether we think about it or just do as it seems now common in modern society
But does physical compatibility really show at the start? We might just be glad to get it after a 'dry period', or are just so overwhelmed by want that we don't recognize that it isn't all right? Dunno, just throwing thoughts out.
Definition of relationship and expectations are an issue though for sure, I agree
@ kidatheart
Totally with you on that we should decide away from doctrines, social pressures, whatever, but how realistic is it that we do? Especially social pressure and manipulation, I'd say, is now one of our strongest whips? 'End all, be all' to me seems to sort of tie in with the rushing. Looks related to me
@ peachmelba
I am agnostic, but do find it interesting to speak to people of religious believes. There can be food for thought in what they preach, without me abandoning my agnostic stance or accepting doctrines (I had a few despair over that as they thought me listening meant I was interested in joining their organisations, when I didn't eeps )I am not putting this forth for discussion to say people shouldn't be free to choose. Each to their own, just more wondering how aware we choose all of this, and whether we think about it or just do as it seems now common in modern society
Yes I know what you mean paws ,,
I actually invited two Mormons into my house one Xmas as it was very cold at the door and I was interested in them explaining why they don't fido Xmas,
They sat on the sofa and chair and were going to play name a video at the time but I said its okay ,,I'm very busey I've got alot to do and I want to put my crib up and make mince pies,
Their eyes lit up so I offered them tea and I told em to call back for a mince pie over the Xmas,
They were both very good looking I remember,
My hubby at the time didnt mind he was used to my kindred kind spirit,,he joked if its not stray cats you invite in its Mormons .
peachmelba: Yes I know what you mean paws ,,
I actually invited two Mormons into my house one Xmas as it was very cold at the door and I was interested in them explaining why they don't fido Xmas,
They sat on the sofa and chair and were going to play name a video at the time but I said its okay ,,I'm very busey I've got alot to do and I want to put my crib up and make mince pies,
Their eyes lit up so I offered them tea and I told em to call back for a mince pie over the Xmas,
They were both very good looking I remember,
My hubby at the time didnt mind he was used to my kindred kind spirit,,he joked if its not stray cats you invite in its Mormons .
I actually invited two Mormons into my house one Xmas as it was very cold at the door and I was interested in them explaining why they don't fido Xmas,
They sat on the sofa and chair and were going to play name a video at the time but I said its okay ,,I'm very busey I've got alot to do and I want to put my crib up and make mince pies,
Their eyes lit up so I offered them tea and I told em to call back for a mince pie over the Xmas,
They were both very good looking I remember,
My hubby at the time didnt mind he was used to my kindred kind spirit,,he joked if its not stray cats you invite in its Mormons .
Spelling mistakes,,
.Looking back on it I must of been mad to ask those men in even if they were who they said they were ,,
But it was when I first move into my home and I was curious about their religion tho I sang interested.
They were American very clean cut and impecuable manners,
I wouldn't recommend inviting. Strangers into ones home tho,
peachmelba: Spelling mistakes,, .
Looking back on it I must of been mad to ask those men in even if they were who they said they were ,,
But it was when I first move into my home and I was curious about their religion tho I sang interested.
They were American very clean cut and impecuable manners,
I wouldn't recommend inviting. Strangers into ones home tho,
Looking back on it I must of been mad to ask those men in even if they were who they said they were ,,
But it was when I first move into my home and I was curious about their religion tho I sang interested.
They were American very clean cut and impecuable manners,
I wouldn't recommend inviting. Strangers into ones home tho,
By the grace of god go I ,
I think I want to smash this iPad with my feet .
I told them I was a devout catholic but maybe Mormon be better,
ive pondered a lot lately early mornings and late nights always seem to wake at 4am for some reason 
whats it all about ? we are only passing through ,read your piece above but in my meek opinion people and relationships are expendable its a throw away society we live in today ,and with so many of us on here battle scarred i suppose a lot are only looking for a quick fix solution to underlying deep emotional issues from ones past,yes i agree its superb to find true intimacy but maybe we put to much emphasis on the word intimacy as intimacy variates from person to person ,what ever makes you happy go with the flow ,life is just to exasperating for a lot of folks at the moment ,so if your can find haven to shelter from the encroaching storm why not 
whats it all about ? we are only passing through ,read your piece above but in my meek opinion people and relationships are expendable its a throw away society we live in today ,and with so many of us on here battle scarred i suppose a lot are only looking for a quick fix solution to underlying deep emotional issues from ones past,yes i agree its superb to find true intimacy but maybe we put to much emphasis on the word intimacy as intimacy variates from person to person ,what ever makes you happy go with the flow ,life is just to exasperating for a lot of folks at the moment ,so if your can find haven to shelter from the encroaching storm why not In response to: I spent a while in the company of a Jehovah's Witness. He had things wrong on other fronts, but did tell me how according to the bible we should go about finding someone slowly. Seems true Wintnesses still stick to dating only in the company of a chaperone. Sounds a bit extreme to me, but the principle seems to have something to it - to not rush into physical relationships before other essential bonds have been formed.
I look around and see how many of us nowadays jump into bed almost first thing. We are led by physical attraction, long before we can actually tell whether that other matches our true hopes and needs.
To be compatible physically is of course important, but a relationship is clearly made up of far more than time spent in bed together. Are we treating physical intimacy far too lightly? Are we ruining our chances for true intimacy by being intimite with basically strangers?
Looks a bit like we are bridling the horse from the wrong end these days, and a bridle on the tail of a horse surely does not lead to a smooth ride, or does it?
I look around and see how many of us nowadays jump into bed almost first thing. We are led by physical attraction, long before we can actually tell whether that other matches our true hopes and needs.
To be compatible physically is of course important, but a relationship is clearly made up of far more than time spent in bed together. Are we treating physical intimacy far too lightly? Are we ruining our chances for true intimacy by being intimite with basically strangers?
Looks a bit like we are bridling the horse from the wrong end these days, and a bridle on the tail of a horse surely does not lead to a smooth ride, or does it?
That is why I like the idea of online dating. You can get to know somebody's personality, intellect, sense of humour, etc., before the physical ever comes into it.
THEN, you can jump into bed!
mollybaby: That is why I like the idea of online dating. You can get to know somebody's personality, intellect, sense of humour, etc., before the physical ever comes into it.
THEN, you can jump into bed!
molly molly molly THEN, you can jump into bed!
your encouragable 
mollybaby: That is why I like the idea of online dating. You can get to know somebody's personality, intellect, sense of humour, etc., before the physical ever comes into it.
THEN, you can jump into bed!
THEN, you can jump into bed!
For those who want a bed ,some don't like a sleepover ,
mjpd67: molly molly molly your encouragable
Dosnt take much to encourage you mj,
peachmelba: Dosnt take much to encourage you mj,
Or discourage you .
mollybaby: That is why I like the idea of online dating. You can get to know somebody's personality, intellect, sense of humour, etc., before the physical ever comes into it.
THEN, you can jump into bed!
THEN, you can jump into bed!
peachmelba: Or discourage you .
make your mind up will yapeachmelba: Spelling mistakes,, .
Looking back on it I must of been mad to ask those men in even if they were who they said they were ,,
But it was when I first move into my home and I was curious about their religion tho I sang interested.
They were American very clean cut and impecuable manners,
I wouldn't recommend inviting. Strangers into ones home tho,
Looking back on it I must of been mad to ask those men in even if they were who they said they were ,,
But it was when I first move into my home and I was curious about their religion tho I sang interested.
They were American very clean cut and impecuable manners,
I wouldn't recommend inviting. Strangers into ones home tho,
I never even asked the Mormons to take their jackets off,
peachmelba: I never even asked the Mormons to take their jackets off,
what morons 
mjpd67: make your mind up will ya
I'm always in two minds,
.
mjpd67: what morons
Two of the most handsume men I have ever seen called to my door a week
Before Xmas ,,
They were Mormons,
If you read back you would know what I'm talking about.
peachmelba: Two of the most handsume men I have ever seen called to my door a week
Before Xmas ,,They were Mormons,If you read back you would know what I'm talking about.
my special needs assistant is off tonight so im slow reading bear with me Before Xmas ,,They were Mormons,If you read back you would know what I'm talking about.
@ peachmelba
I tend to usually not invite strangers in, never have, just talk at the door, and with my 2 pony sized Dobermans few have the courage to enter anyway
@ mjp
Still sleeping bad, hm? Like what you said about battle scarred and throw away society, and agree that people vary anyway. Loneliness surely can also contribute to people rushing, the panic that one might never find another, so maybe people feel hesitation could leave them sitting on the shelf? Plus self esteem problems might also lead to haste, trying to find self value through mistaking lust with really being wanted. Quick fixes can lead to addiction though, and I can't say I have seen many happy drug addicts.
@ mollybaby
lol yes, in theory anyway!
I tend to usually not invite strangers in, never have, just talk at the door, and with my 2 pony sized Dobermans few have the courage to enter anyway
@ mjp
Still sleeping bad, hm?
Like what you said about battle scarred and throw away society, and agree that people vary anyway. Loneliness surely can also contribute to people rushing, the panic that one might never find another, so maybe people feel hesitation could leave them sitting on the shelf? Plus self esteem problems might also lead to haste, trying to find self value through mistaking lust with really being wanted. Quick fixes can lead to addiction though, and I can't say I have seen many happy drug addicts.@ mollybaby
lol yes, in theory anyway!
More Threads
Why is this shameful?
One more reason to vote Democrat....Arizona Supreme Court
So, . . .
Cat Calling
Gal / sdarlagg passed away on April 10, 2024
beauty of the heart
Manifesting
makeover
See It All The Time
Democrats destroyed America
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
Stats for this Thread
4,031 Views
108 Comments
Created: Dec 2014
Last Viewed: just now
Last Commented: Dec 2014
0 Likes
I look around and see how many of us nowadays jump into bed almost first thing. We are led by physical attraction, long before we can actually tell whether that other matches our true hopes and needs.
To be compatible physically is of course important, but a relationship is clearly made up of far more than time spent in bed together. Are we treating physical intimacy far too lightly? Are we ruining our chances for true intimacy by being intimite with basically strangers?
Looks a bit like we are bridling the horse from the wrong end these days, and a bridle on the tail of a horse surely does not lead to a smooth ride, or does it?