Go On Have A Laugh, You Know You Want To!! (46)
I'm sure we have all heard of the patient that went to the doctor,
said she was feeling like a pair of curtains,
Doctor said "Pull yourself together"
Yeah,, old one i know,, so maybe you can do better??
said she was feeling like a pair of curtains,
Doctor said "Pull yourself together"
Yeah,, old one i know,, so maybe you can do better??
WittyandWise: Fresh meat
The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits.
She's got a point, I suppose...
I work in a hammer factory
She's got a point, I suppose...
I work in a hammer factory
stanley8m: The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits.
She's got a point, I suppose...I work in a hammer factory
She's got a point, I suppose...I work in a hammer factory
Brilliant !!
A blind man walks into a bar
he taps a man on the shoulder and says
"do you want to hear a blonde joke",
The man said,, " the man behind the bar is blonde,
"that wrestler over there is blonde,", "the bouncer is blonde"
"do you still want to tell the joke"
"No said the blind man, i don't want to have to explain it 3 times"
he taps a man on the shoulder and says
"do you want to hear a blonde joke",
The man said,, " the man behind the bar is blonde,
"that wrestler over there is blonde,", "the bouncer is blonde"
"do you still want to tell the joke"
"No said the blind man, i don't want to have to explain it 3 times"
A blind man walks into a shop. He works his way down the aisle knocking items off the shelves with his cane as he goes. "Can I help you?" asks the young guy who works there... "Nah... just looking..." says the blind man.
pat8lanips: A blind man walks into a shop. He works his way down the aisle knocking items off the shelves with his cane as he goes. "Can I help you?" asks the young guy who works there... "Nah... just looking..." says the blind man.
Ha Ha!! They get better
This is one that i actually saw happen.
I was in a queue in a shop one day where there were bag packers,
The girl packing was saying to customers, ,"do you want a hand"
When up came a man who had lost his hand in an accident,
I thought to myself ,, "don't say it!!
But yes, she said to the one handed man,,, "Do You Want A Hand!!
A blonde man went to the doctor with sharp pains in his side,,
The doctor said "You have acute appendicitis "
He said, "that is very sweet doc, but i came here for medical help"
The doctor said "You have acute appendicitis "
He said, "that is very sweet doc, but i came here for medical help"
Myra Hindley is walk across the moors with a little girl by the hand, when the little girl looks up and says
"I dont like this Myra, its dark, cold and I'm scared"
Myra replys
"How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone"
"I dont like this Myra, its dark, cold and I'm scared"
Myra replys
"How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone"
annaroach: A blonde man went to the doctor with sharp pains in his side,,
The doctor said "You have acute appendicitis "
He said, "that is very sweet doc, but i came here for medical help"
The doctor said "You have acute appendicitis "
He said, "that is very sweet doc, but i came here for medical help"
That might seem funny.
But I went to hospital to get my appendix out when I was 9.
I was totally hurt when I heard the doctor telling the nurse I was not cute
Cute and acute mean the same thing to a kid
stanley8m: Myra Hindley is walk across the moors with a little girl by the hand, when the little girl looks up and says
"I dont like this Myra, its dark, cold and I'm scared" Myra replys
"How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone"
"I dont like this Myra, its dark, cold and I'm scared" Myra replys
"How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone"
V E R Y D A R K !!!!!
annaroach: V E R Y D A R K !!!!!
Wait until I get going.
stanley8m: Wait until I get going.
Oh dear!!
annaroach: V E R Y D A R K !!!!!
Lol, wait til jt sees this....he'll have a field day!
What starts with E and ends with E and has only 1 letter in it?
snowlynx: Lol, wait til jt sees this....he'll have a field day!
My thoughts exactly!!
annaroach: What starts with E and ends with E and has only 1 letter in it?
An envelope, although their could be a card in there also
A guy cheats on his wife Lorraine , with a lady called Clearly.
Lorraine died,,,,,, At the funeral, the guy stands up and sings,,
I can see Clearly now,, Lorraine has gone
Lorraine died,,,,,, At the funeral, the guy stands up and sings,,
I can see Clearly now,, Lorraine has gone
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps "my friend is dead, what can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First let's make sure he's dead". There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "Okay, now what?"
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Created: Jan 2016
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