for guys first dates (22)
fifi72cork, Cork Ireland1 Threads 11 PostsCan ye please explain the reasons why or what makes you want to have that first meeting with someone ,I would have thought it was to find out more about the other person but it seems im mistaken .i know I sound like im moaning but getting fed up meeting guys who either have nothing to say or else too much to say ,isnt conversation meant to involve more than one person ,how can you get to know the other person if they answer in one word ,or they wont stop talking long enough to let you get a word in ???? Surely both people involved should at least have enough interest in each other to both have questions otherwise whats the point 
fifi72: Can ye please explain the reasons why or what makes you want to have that first meeting with someone ,I would have thought it was to find out more about the other person but it seems im mistaken .i know I sound like im moaning but getting fed up meeting guys who either have nothing to say or else too much to say ,isnt conversation meant to involve more than one person ,how can you get to know the other person if they answer in one word ,or they wont stop talking long enough to let you get a word in ???? Surely both people involved should at least have enough interest in each other to both have questions otherwise whats the point
I know you want mens thoughts on this, but
I have given up wondering , what it is men really want!
maybe nerves take the better of either party.... i know with me I talk a lot! (then again I have not been on a date forever, had to google the word DATE.)
Maybe it's time to embrace, all the lovely non nationals,
just for a different encounter,,, then men might be heard say
"they took our jobs, and now they are taking our women"
just for a different encounter,,, then men might be heard say
"they took our jobs, and now they are taking our women"
fifi72: Can ye please explain the reasons why or what makes you want to have that first meeting with someone ,I would have thought it was to find out more about the other person but it seems im mistaken .i know I sound like im moaning but getting fed up meeting guys who either have nothing to say or else too much to say ,isnt conversation meant to involve more than one person ,how can you get to know the other person if they answer in one word ,or they wont stop talking long enough to let you get a word in ???? Surely both people involved should at least have enough interest in each other to both have questions otherwise whats the point
I'm sure men come across exactly the same thing.
Sometimes I think going for a walk, or doing some activity together is probably better and more natural than just sitting across from each other trying to make conversation.
But then, I haven't been on a first date in a while, so what do I know
mollybaby: I'm sure men come across exactly the same thing.
Sometimes I think going for a walk, or doing some activity together is probably better and more natural than just sitting across from each other trying to make conversation.
But then, I haven't been on a first date in a while, so what do I know
Sometimes I think going for a walk, or doing some activity together is probably better and more natural than just sitting across from each other trying to make conversation.
But then, I haven't been on a first date in a while, so what do I know
That's true, had a lovely date some time back, where we walked
in a lovely place, and got the low down of the history of the place,, very interesting ,,, place and man
fifi72: Can ye please explain the reasons why or what makes you want to have that first meeting with someone ,I would have thought it was to find out more about the other person but it seems im mistaken .i know I sound like im moaning but getting fed up meeting guys who either have nothing to say or else too much to say ,isnt conversation meant to involve more than one person ,how can you get to know the other person if they answer in one word ,or they wont stop talking long enough to let you get a word in ???? Surely both people involved should at least have enough interest in each other to both have questions otherwise whats the point
....It's quite normal for both parties to feel nervous on a first date....if there are no nerves or butterflies you should not meet up in the first place......don't be too judgemental of the person you are meeting.....you must have spoken to him on the phone a few times.....just understand that it is normal to feel a little nervous.....if yee fancy each other thats all that matters....no need to ask him a hundred questions to see if he meets your requirements..... if you feel you have to do that.....forget about it...jmoMolly ,Youre right about doing an activity I think ,dont get me wrong theres been nothing wrong with any of them really,they have all been nice genuine guys ,but went home feeling I knew nothing more about them.even more fustrating i felt they should have at least enough interest in me to want to get to know me better too .am I expecting too much ?
OgGoDeo: ....It's quite normal for both parties to feel nervous on a first date....if there are no nerves or butterflies you should not meet up in the first place......don't be too judgemental of the person you are meeting.....you must have spoken to him on the phone a few times.....just understand that it is normal to feel a little nervous.....if yee fancy each other thats all that matters....no need to ask him a hundred questions to see if he meets your requirements..... if you feel you have to do that.....forget about it...jmo
I certainly wouldnt want to ask him 100 questions lol and I dont have a mental checklist ,but would see it as an opportunity to get to know the guy a bit better.
fifi72: Molly ,Youre right about doing an activity I think ,dont get me wrong theres been nothing wrong with any of them really,they have all been nice genuine guys ,but went home feeling I knew nothing more about them.even more fustrating i felt they should have at least enough interest in me to want to get to know me better too .am I expecting too much ?
...ah...I know what you mean fifi....its just that sometimes we like to think that after taliking to somebody on the phone for a while etc...that everything will be great on the first date....it is a little different when people meet up....sometimes there is only chemistry from one side and, even worse we meet somebody who has been so nice to us in their chat on the phone etc...a lot of fellas have a way of making us believe that they are dying to meet us but, in reality, they end up just wanting to get whatever they can without sharing any of their personal feelings about life with us...anyway...I understand what you are talking about and it's just my opinion....I am sure that there are fellas out there that have had the same experience so I am not being biased....
mollybaby: I'm sure men come across exactly the same thing.
Sometimes I think going for a walk, or doing some activity together is probably better and more natural than just sitting across from each other trying to make conversation.
But then, I haven't been on a first date in a while, so what do I know
Sometimes I think going for a walk, or doing some activity together is probably better and more natural than just sitting across from each other trying to make conversation.
But then, I haven't been on a first date in a while, so what do I know
First dates can be awkward.
The couple of dates I went on since joining CS went great, because I had known them on here for ages before we met, so it just felt like a continuation of our chats rather than meeting a stranger.
The lovely butterflies were still there though
fifi72: Can ye please explain the reasons why or what makes you want to have that first meeting with someone ,I would have thought it was to find out more about the other person but it seems im mistaken .i know I sound like im moaning but getting fed up meeting guys who either have nothing to say or else too much to say ,isnt conversation meant to involve more than one person ,how can you get to know the other person if they answer in one word ,or they wont stop talking long enough to let you get a word in ???? Surely both people involved should at least have enough interest in each other to both have questions otherwise whats the point
You must be meeting some awful eejits altogether, shure any bloke with an ounce of sense knows you have to listen to women waffling on, and pretend to be interested, if you want to get near their fun bits.
stanley8m: You must be meeting some awful eejits altogether, shure any bloke with an ounce of sense knows you have to listen to women waffling on, and pretend to be interested, if you want to get near their fun bits.
Eejit!
mollybaby: Eejit!
My evil twin must have hijacked my account again.
stanley8m: My evil twin must have hijacked my account again.
He must hijack it a lot methinks
stanley8m: You must be meeting some awful eejits altogether, shure any bloke with an ounce of sense knows you have to listen to women waffling on, and pretend to be interested, if you want to get near their fun bits.
:blah blah:fifi72: Can ye please explain the reasons why or what makes you want to have that first meeting with someone ,I would have thought it was to find out more about the other person but it seems im mistaken .i know I sound like im moaning but getting fed up meeting guys who either have nothing to say or else too much to say ,isnt conversation meant to involve more than one person ,how can you get to know the other person if they answer in one word ,or they wont stop talking long enough to let you get a word in ???? Surely both people involved should at least have enough interest in each other to both have questions otherwise whats the point
Just ask yourselves these questions:
What is out there over 40?
What type of guys do you usually meet off a dating website?
If you don't like the type of guys you are meeting, maybe try meeting someone through different channels.
I've known a few guys who talk about themselves endlessly, I can't understand how their wives put up with it, I guess there are some women who look for certain things in their men and if they have it then they are happy and willing to put up the self-absorbtion as part of the price. I'll never understand it I just suppose some women are desperate to marry and have kids.
It sometimes goes the other way and the woman is self-absorbed but it's not as common.
It sometimes goes the other way and the woman is self-absorbed but it's not as common.
snowlynx: I've known a few guys who talk about themselves endlessly, I can't understand how their wives put up with it, I guess there are some women who look for certain things in their men and if they have it then they are happy and willing to put up the self-absorbtion as part of the price. I'll never understand it I just suppose some women are desperate to marry and have kids.
It sometimes goes the other way and the woman is self-absorbed but it's not as common.
It sometimes goes the other way and the woman is self-absorbed but it's not as common.
I suppose it is all about a bit of give and take!!
Tolerance, understanding and a bit of love!!
snowlynx: I've known a few guys who talk about themselves endlessly, I can't understand how their wives put up with it, I guess there are some women who look for certain things in their men and if they have it then they are happy and willing to put up the self-absorbtion as part of the price. I'll never understand it I just suppose some women are desperate to marry and have kids.
It sometimes goes the other way and the woman is self-absorbed but it's not as common.
It sometimes goes the other way and the woman is self-absorbed but it's not as common.
Men can get a bit obsessed with one thing more than women.
And yes that can be self-obsession as well.
I also see female friends whose partners are obsessing about their latest interest, whether buying a car, or politics. They literally can't talk about anything else! They often don't even think to ask the female how their day was, but instead launch into a monologue
The females usually just listen for a bit, then switch off
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