Politics (13)

Oct 9, 2009 3:38 PM CST Politics
Brew01
Brew01Brew01Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan Canada58 Threads 1,613 Posts
Young Steven Harper lived in Calgary and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.


The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up saying, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'

Steven replied,’ Well, then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'

Steven said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with a dead donkey?

Steven said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said, you can't raffle off a dead donkey!'

Steven said, 'Sure I can, I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Steven and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'

Steven said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 each and I made a profit of $898.'

The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Steven said, 'Just the guy who won, so I gave him his $2 back.'

Steven is now the Prime Minister of Canada
Oct 10, 2009 10:51 PM CST Politics
Raven0
Raven0Raven0Right here, Alberta Canada28 Threads 3,454 Posts
Very cute
laugh
Oct 10, 2009 11:18 PM CST Politics
Brew01
Brew01Brew01Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan Canada58 Threads 1,613 Posts
Raven0: Very cute



Thank you.. I liked it when I first read it
Oct 11, 2009 11:59 AM CST Politics
KHD100
KHD100KHD100Edmonton, Alberta Canada129 Threads 3 Polls 2,495 Posts
You are great at sharing Jokes Brew... it helps liven up the forum and make us laugh.

Hope you have a great weekend and Thanksgiving.

Would it be safe to assume you are the one doing the cooking??? :-)
Oct 11, 2009 6:18 PM CST Politics
eyesthatknowwhy
eyesthatknowwhyeyesthatknowwhyWhitehorse, Yukon Territory Canada88 Threads 1,405 Posts
laugh laugh

Thought provoking and funny....Happy Turkey time Brew!!
Oct 11, 2009 8:19 PM CST Politics
Brew01
Brew01Brew01Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan Canada58 Threads 1,613 Posts
Thank you ladies, I hope you have a great weekend, and yes Kim, naturally I'm doing the cooking
Oct 12, 2009 8:55 PM CST Politics
KHD100
KHD100KHD100Edmonton, Alberta Canada129 Threads 3 Polls 2,495 Posts
More from Holladgirl

You can’t make this stuff up! Make sure you read all the way to the end.

NEW YORK - resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family
when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'

Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question
and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use
of lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the show's host
Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100 question.

The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'

A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she did not
readily know the answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans,
as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief.
'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before,
but I have no idea how large they would be.'

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.
Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was
bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly
easy question, Evans still remained unsure.

'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans....
'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'
Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend
Betsy, who is an office assistant.

'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans,
wasting the first seven seconds of her call.
'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest?
B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'
Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.
Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
'Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.'

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's
advice. 'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy.. She's not all that bright.
So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of
answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines,
Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.

'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the
too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with
your gut. So, let's see... I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.'

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath -
and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'
Caution...they walk among us!


Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'

The next day someone stole it!

They walk amongst us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I stopped at Mc Donald’s and ordered some fries.
The girl behind the counter said “would you like some fries with that?”


*One day I was walking down the beach with
some friends when someone shouted....
'Look at that dead bird!'
Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

They walk among us!

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Oct 12, 2009 8:55 PM CST Politics
KHD100
KHD100KHD100Edmonton, Alberta Canada129 Threads 3 Polls 2,495 Posts
While looking at a house, my brother asked the
estate agent which direction was north because
he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
and has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'

They Walk Among Us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned
because the car was moving'.

They Walk Among Us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.

They Walk Among Us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman
with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip
out every time she turns her head!"
I had to explain that a person's nose and ear
remain the same distance apart no
matter which way the head is turned...

They Walk Among Us !

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and.
went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this.)

They Walk Among Us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and
the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces.

They Walk Among Us!

_________________________________________________________________

Dumb as a box of Rocks
A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN CONGRESS, TRUE STORY:

A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'

'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'

'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.

Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''

Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
Oct 13, 2009 1:11 AM CST Politics
Brew01
Brew01Brew01Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan Canada58 Threads 1,613 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

You're a scream Kim, I oughta know, I look at your picture, and scream

Thanks for the jokes, kid, you're a hoot
Oct 13, 2009 9:08 AM CST Politics
Readybake101
Readybake101Readybake101Dundurn, Saskatchewan Canada12 Threads 2 Polls 162 Posts
canada
Oct 14, 2009 8:31 AM CST Politics
gemery
gemerygemeryWilliams Lake, British Columbia Canada5 Threads 509 Posts
You got pies. I know, I saw them. Hey everybody, Readybake here has pies.

Got apple? How about Rhubarb? Eh, come on....fess up. Send us your address...us pie people are coming. Got ice cream?

I want pie...

geo
Oct 14, 2009 7:36 PM CST Politics
kitty01
kitty01kitty01St. Albert, Alberta Canada244 Threads 1 Polls 5,310 Posts
gemery: You got pies. I know, I saw them. Hey everybody, Readybake here has pies.

Got apple? How about Rhubarb? Eh, come on....fess up. Send us your address...us pie people are coming. Got ice cream?

I want pie...

geo


Did you mention pie. I want pie.conversing
Oct 17, 2009 6:50 AM CST Politics
oreosnmlk
oreosnmlkoreosnmlkBridgewater, Nova Scotia Canada2 Threads 14 Posts
banana LOL You're all so up this 'morn.
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