what is proper edicate? (33)
this is one of those places where we (no one) reallllly knows how to react. I never have an issue paying - at least my own way. I don't recall a single time where the guy didn't take the first bill. I remember reading something in mars & venus on a date I think where the dr. says that men "need to feel like the provider, they want to pay for the evening as it allows them to show you they care and if fulfills the provider instinct in them". I don't know if it's true, I don't really care if it is, in reality there's never really any good way to address the payment issue other than to just be prepared that you might have to pay...
Proper etiquette on a first date, regarding paying the restaurant bill? I think that should have been discussed before leaving home. However, one would assume that since he asked you out, he will pay. I think in this day and age, some men believe in equality in paying the bills. I think he had some nerves though, in asking you out again.
He did say that he wanted to take me out....I told him that I was a bit old fashioned and that I enjoyed the company of chivalrous men.....he also had mentioned that he wanted to go to the hockey game sat night....
so, pretty much he had a loaded rifle with blanks!
I do NOT have a problem with paying......however, I did mention in the beginning of our convo that if a man asks me out, I do expect for him to pay......he never had a problem with that.......
lordy lordy lordy..........
so, pretty much he had a loaded rifle with blanks!
I do NOT have a problem with paying......however, I did mention in the beginning of our convo that if a man asks me out, I do expect for him to pay......he never had a problem with that.......
lordy lordy lordy..........
ahh, so it's a case of a man who doesn't listen! I see...and I hate that!
Can we have some guys clarifying this one????
Hi new to all of this. I am the type that feels the need to pay the bill all the time, and find it hard to let the women pay but thats just me and for sure if I asks her out I would pay.
Edicate is that the man pays the bill - period. L.
what is proper edicate?, without a doubt I think the man should pay, just the way it is....ya I am old fashion too, pardon me while I get the door for you. Is that so bad, not is my book.
I dunno.. kinda on the wall with this one.. I always pay my way.. that way I don't get stuck with the "well I bought you dinner.. you owe me" line. lol. But Miss Manners will say that if you're invited out the other party foots the bill.
But we're in the new millenium now. I say if he was clearly told that you expected him to pay for dinner then he wasn't listening on purpose.
But we're in the new millenium now. I say if he was clearly told that you expected him to pay for dinner then he wasn't listening on purpose.
When I go on a date, I always have my Visa and Debit cards on me. However, if a man had asked me out on a date, and he expected me to pay for my share of the bill - he would never see me again. L.
you make it sound like there was no conversation or comment over the subject... how old are you?
hi miamiam,, i too, am a gentleman... i suppose no matter the situation... i would pay,,,,, even if it was the first and last time... seems however... this guy was a bum... hence i wonder what
Donna was thinking... ?
Donna was thinking... ?
Hey Sunshine,
I am fifty years old and proud of it!
Lorraine.
I am fifty years old and proud of it!
Lorraine.
I agree with huntress...lol
However this is a difficult one in this "day and age" (I sound so old when i say that)...there was a time that there was no question as to who picks up the bill...but back then women didn't ask men out either (unless it was Sadie Hawkins!!)
I go prepared to pay my own way...i am always "impressed" when the man takes it upon himself to pick up the check...and at the same time it offers me the opportunity to say whether or not i will be paying half of that...especially if i think he's expecting "pay back"
However this is a difficult one in this "day and age" (I sound so old when i say that)...there was a time that there was no question as to who picks up the bill...but back then women didn't ask men out either (unless it was Sadie Hawkins!!)
I go prepared to pay my own way...i am always "impressed" when the man takes it upon himself to pick up the check...and at the same time it offers me the opportunity to say whether or not i will be paying half of that...especially if i think he's expecting "pay back"
Since we are on this subject - I would "die" if the man expected me to pay my part of the bill! I could pay it, I would pay it, however, as I have written previously - he would Never see me again. L.
Cheap skate men
My view on this is if it is an actual date the guy should pay.
i always have. That being said, i dont see why a woman couldnt pay here and there, that is down the road if things became more serious. I for one look for that because i certainly dont want a gold digger, who expects me to pay for everything. And if they genuinely like me, i figure that can catch the bill once in awhile.
Yes i do like the provider instict and to show i care on first dates. Generally overall in an exclusive relationship as well. My views are a bit different on a more significant relationship however, as things become more team orientated and both partners can share.... but i am starting to ge way off topic.
My view on this is if it is an actual date the guy should pay.
i always have. That being said, i dont see why a woman couldnt pay here and there, that is down the road if things became more serious. I for one look for that because i certainly dont want a gold digger, who expects me to pay for everything. And if they genuinely like me, i figure that can catch the bill once in awhile.
Yes i do like the provider instict and to show i care on first dates. Generally overall in an exclusive relationship as well. My views are a bit different on a more significant relationship however, as things become more team orientated and both partners can share.... but i am starting to ge way off topic.
Hi Gent.......thanks for your input....
as to answer your question, this was a "set up" meeting...with my sisters' best pals friend........and we chatted over the phone for about 2 weeks..on a daily basis....the funny thing is that once I met him, I KNEW it wasn't gonna work..not so much his looks but his approach to our first meeting...... no more blind dates for me!
as for pucks response, yes, I totally agree that in a relationship, there is always the sharing and picking up a tab, regardless of it being dinner, a movie, a helicopter ride, I would most definately pick up the tab.....but on a first date, yes, I truly believe that the man should pay......and in knowing that, I always make sure it is a "not so expensive" night.......I never want someone to spend excessive amounts...
and thanks for all the other info and input I got from the rest of the gang on CS.......
as to answer your question, this was a "set up" meeting...with my sisters' best pals friend........and we chatted over the phone for about 2 weeks..on a daily basis....the funny thing is that once I met him, I KNEW it wasn't gonna work..not so much his looks but his approach to our first meeting...... no more blind dates for me!
as for pucks response, yes, I totally agree that in a relationship, there is always the sharing and picking up a tab, regardless of it being dinner, a movie, a helicopter ride, I would most definately pick up the tab.....but on a first date, yes, I truly believe that the man should pay......and in knowing that, I always make sure it is a "not so expensive" night.......I never want someone to spend excessive amounts...
and thanks for all the other info and input I got from the rest of the gang on CS.......
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You are "set-up" for a better choice of words with someone that one of your friends think would be a great match for you.....you chat on the phone and in the week or two following, your conversation is a kaliedescope of thoughts and ideas......soooooo , dude asks you out but tells you he has no wheels.....so, of course, you pick him up and go out for dinner......something not too fancy and a laid back kinda place (eg. kelseys').the bill comes thru and buddy sits back and waits......I don't....I take out my wallet and he WAITS until I put in my portion.....
ok, so here is my thought......If a guy asks me out for the first time, is it rude to think that he would be paying the tab???? IS that such a bad thing to think?
Regardless, that was enough of a sign to think that dude is most definately NOT for me........
conversation has halted since that night....then dude has the "balls" (excuse the expression) to call me and text me this morning!....
am I wrong to think that if I am asked out, he should pay???? ok, I don't expect that all the time but I truly think that the first time going out, a man should pay (I guess I really AM old fashioned)....IF the relationship got further, heck, I have no prob paying, but come on! THE FIRST TIME? ........