How come some men don't want Ladies with kids? (21)
Not all men run kiddo. I lived with a woman for over 4 years, and she had 2 of the best kids you'd ever meet. Broke my heart when we parted ways, I loved those kids as if they were my own. One year for christmas the Ashley (5 years old at the time) wrote a letter to Santa asking for some of Rudolphs fur, well we lived in an apartment complex, and I ran from apartment to apartment asking EVERY woman if they had an old fur coat or something with fur on it, I explained why, but had no luck, so instead I just wrote Ashley back a letter (from Santa of course) and explained that I wish I could give her the fur that she asked for, but if Rudolph gave a little bit of fur for every child that asked for some, he would be bald and freeze on christmas eve flying around making sure you had something for christmas in the morning. She bought it, and the smile on her face just from getting a letter from St. Nick himeslf was well worth me running from apartment to apartment. So you see kiddo, not all men run from kids, some of us even run for kids
I am a single parent of a 5 yr old boy...
I myself.. TOTALLY understand any guy who says they dont want to be with me because I have a child.. There could be many reasons for this..
Such as...
-He wants to share having children with someone, and they wouldnt be able to connect with the child.
-he doesnt like kids
-he doesnt want to raise someone elses kids
-Hes not ready for the responsibility ..
And the list could go on.. and this could be for females as well..
I ask for those not to judge me for having a child and to not single me out.. So .. therefore I do the same for those who wouldnt date me due to the fact .. TOTALLy understand it.. and If they are polite when telling me.. I respect them even more..
Its a Preference.. tis all..:D
maybe its not you having kids that is stopping the men .. maybe thats just what they use as an excuse..
I myself.. TOTALLY understand any guy who says they dont want to be with me because I have a child.. There could be many reasons for this..
Such as...
-He wants to share having children with someone, and they wouldnt be able to connect with the child.
-he doesnt like kids
-he doesnt want to raise someone elses kids
-Hes not ready for the responsibility ..
And the list could go on.. and this could be for females as well..
I ask for those not to judge me for having a child and to not single me out.. So .. therefore I do the same for those who wouldnt date me due to the fact .. TOTALLy understand it.. and If they are polite when telling me.. I respect them even more..
Its a Preference.. tis all..:D
maybe its not you having kids that is stopping the men .. maybe thats just what they use as an excuse..
It goes both ways, there are men out there with children, who don't want to be with a woman without children. Guess it depends on the person.
this is me, i have had a problem with this as well,, i am a single father of 2 kids,,, my boy is 6 and my daughter is 5, i have had the kids wit me and mother doesn't see them, i have went on a few set-ups,, but as soon as they find out i have kids the date is pretty much over,,, any advice for meCould be a lot of reasons; fear of responsibility; fear of the challenges of a blended family,..etc.
But not all guys, or for that matter, gals run,...and in my way of thinking, its better to find out early that they are not into kids, than later on. As my grandfather used to say, "For every pot, there is a lid". Just keep growing, improving, and facing each new day with a smile, and who knows who might come along! IMHO
But not all guys, or for that matter, gals run,...and in my way of thinking, its better to find out early that they are not into kids, than later on. As my grandfather used to say, "For every pot, there is a lid". Just keep growing, improving, and facing each new day with a smile, and who knows who might come along! IMHO
Well, here is my thoughts on the situation. I used to date a man that had a daughter. She was so cute and I loved her to death. For me, it was all ruined because of the "baby's mama drama". I have never had so much trouble with one person before in my life! She had her daughter saying all kinds of rude things to me. And telling her that her dad was leaving her for me. It was just a bad situation. I finally had to end the relationship. 
After that whole ordeal, I wouldn't go anywhere near a guy with kids. It scared me into thinking all mom's were like that.
Now, I have learned that I was wrong in thinking all mom's were like that. It took one very nice chick to help me realize that. I have no problems dating men with kids.
I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe some people have had bad experiences with drama like that. They may be scared, like I was, of living in hell. Its a tough thing to deal with and I understand if some people are just not willing to try.
After that whole ordeal, I wouldn't go anywhere near a guy with kids. It scared me into thinking all mom's were like that.
Now, I have learned that I was wrong in thinking all mom's were like that. It took one very nice chick to help me realize that. I have no problems dating men with kids.
I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe some people have had bad experiences with drama like that. They may be scared, like I was, of living in hell. Its a tough thing to deal with and I understand if some people are just not willing to try.
You all have valid points. I've seen many friends of mine get the excuse of 'I'm not ready for the responsability' and I've seen some have to deal with the other parent.
It's a difficult balance,some may think that they are fine dating a single parent only to find it too much for them and some do have problems getting their heads out of other parts of their anatomy.
Every one has a preference when it comes to what they're looking for but to use kids as an excuse sucks,it's not as if you hide your kids from people and pop them out 6 months down the line.
I refused to date for 7 years to avoid having anyone pop in and out of our lives while my girl was young enough to become too attached,saw what happened with her dad and swore she'd never live through that again,but that was my choice.
I have nothing against guys with kids and nothing against guys without...but I am always going to be a package deal.
MTC
It's a difficult balance,some may think that they are fine dating a single parent only to find it too much for them and some do have problems getting their heads out of other parts of their anatomy.
Every one has a preference when it comes to what they're looking for but to use kids as an excuse sucks,it's not as if you hide your kids from people and pop them out 6 months down the line.
I refused to date for 7 years to avoid having anyone pop in and out of our lives while my girl was young enough to become too attached,saw what happened with her dad and swore she'd never live through that again,but that was my choice.
I have nothing against guys with kids and nothing against guys without...but I am always going to be a package deal.
MTC
There are indeed "difficulties" that can arise,.....and they are better found out about in the beginning. And for anyone to assume that a single parent is anything less than a "package deal" is, in my opinion assuming very incorrectly!
But when it works out, it can indeed be wonderful. My old high-school buddy entered into a relationship over 30 years ago with a single mom. He is now a very proud grandfather,....in the truest sense of the word. Heck, I even remeber when he broke down crying years ago the first time his step-son called him dad!
I guess it all depends on who the people are and what actually happens between them. You win some, you lose some,...but when you win, its good.
But when it works out, it can indeed be wonderful. My old high-school buddy entered into a relationship over 30 years ago with a single mom. He is now a very proud grandfather,....in the truest sense of the word. Heck, I even remeber when he broke down crying years ago the first time his step-son called him dad!
I guess it all depends on who the people are and what actually happens between them. You win some, you lose some,...but when you win, its good.
Hail all in favour of a single parents united website! LOL just kidding it kinda really sucks though. It doesnt mean just because we have kids that we are at all not the one, or just the same person these people are looking for?
Just cause we hav kids doesnt make use dead or yuck? hmm?
Just cause we hav kids doesnt make use dead or yuck? hmm?
I would prefer to meet a nice lady with children. We would have more in common as she would be familiar with some of the ordeals parents have to go through. Besides, I love to be someone that the kids can laugh with and learn from at the same time.
so some guys will actually run TO you if you have children!
so some guys will actually run TO you if you have children!
Even though my children are older and almost out the door I have encountered this issue from time to time. I think it's one reason why I have trouble getting my dating life off the ground.
Some guys r just not cut out to be a instant daddy.
or they think single mom means easy lay and when they see u r not that then they move on.
there is no one answer to explain why they disappear everyguy has a different reason.
mine last girlfriend was a single parent. so i have no problem with women with kids. but i am immature and like to have someone to play with the same maturity level. hahahhaha
or they think single mom means easy lay and when they see u r not that then they move on.
there is no one answer to explain why they disappear everyguy has a different reason.
mine last girlfriend was a single parent. so i have no problem with women with kids. but i am immature and like to have someone to play with the same maturity level. hahahhaha
I have no clue
Time to call in the gang and get the mystery machine rolling.
Time to call in the gang and get the mystery machine rolling.
Hi I lived with a girl for ten years when we met she had a 14mth old daughter that i raised as my own,,i took her all over the country in my truck,,with her mom and sometimes without she just loved it used to call the Mississippi river the mud water cause it was so brown,,when she started to talk she called my truck Da-Da's Choo-Choo cause it was so big,,like a train,,,anyway her mom went on the computer 2 1/2 years ago and found someone else,,,,she was 12 yrs old the last time I saw her,,,havent seen her since and most likely never will again,,,I know where she lives but just can seem to bring myself to go there,,,,and I'll be moving to Sault ste Marie from Windsor ontario at the end of January,,,,,,,thus the basis for some of the poems I write
That hurts
One of the reasons I remained single for 7 yrs...didn't want my girl to grow attached to someone who might not be there as she grew up(not talking about you but ur ex).
Sadly the first relationship I had since then ended with her finally getting attached to the guy,wanting to call him daddy only to have him leave her life when I found out he was spreading it around.
Best of luck
One of the reasons I remained single for 7 yrs...didn't want my girl to grow attached to someone who might not be there as she grew up(not talking about you but ur ex).
Sadly the first relationship I had since then ended with her finally getting attached to the guy,wanting to call him daddy only to have him leave her life when I found out he was spreading it around.
Best of luck
thats just about hurt the most was knowing I would never see her again,,Just wished so much she was my biological daughter,,,cause if she was she would be with me today,,,still have the little wooden truck and wagon we built together as a grade three school project together something to do with magnets,,,so hard to look at that sometimes,,,,i would'nt take a million dollars on E-bay for it,,,just to many memories sitting there
I read this question on another site i frequent.
I think most men who email women who have children don't really know what to expect. The child aspect isn't the deal breaker, it's usually something the parent says that is. Something that makes the other person feel less comfortable about the situation. Like the childs father(you ex) possibly causing trouble for the guy or the relationship. It happens more times than you think.
or
The women are still attached in some way to the ex, love, lust, hangs out together when the kids are not around.
or
the parent is pushing the child too much on the other person. The guy/girl who dates a single parent isn't there because of the kid, they only want to date the parent. In my experience(which is limited) on dates with single mothers they always ask too many questions about me and their child or how i would handle situations with the child. That's rushing way too fast way too quickly.
So from everything i read, heard and my experiences it has nothing to do with the kids and everything to do with how the parent comes across.
I think most men who email women who have children don't really know what to expect. The child aspect isn't the deal breaker, it's usually something the parent says that is. Something that makes the other person feel less comfortable about the situation. Like the childs father(you ex) possibly causing trouble for the guy or the relationship. It happens more times than you think.
or
The women are still attached in some way to the ex, love, lust, hangs out together when the kids are not around.
or
the parent is pushing the child too much on the other person. The guy/girl who dates a single parent isn't there because of the kid, they only want to date the parent. In my experience(which is limited) on dates with single mothers they always ask too many questions about me and their child or how i would handle situations with the child. That's rushing way too fast way too quickly.
So from everything i read, heard and my experiences it has nothing to do with the kids and everything to do with how the parent comes across.
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Created: Nov 2007
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It states on my profile that I have children at home. Why start a conversation if you are not interested in what means the most to me in life?
I know there are a lot of single parent families in our world. So why do men run?