Should I stay or should I go........ (20)
ohhh....this sounds like heaven. 
But I am a man, so my lips are sealed.
All good....except for one thing, he is in a relationship.........I really think that needs to be resolved in his life first.
geo
geo
The man is in another relationship, and he need to make the right decisions, which he is not able to make at the moment. So, the thing for you to do is to let him be, on his own, away from him, until he does make up his mind. If you encourager his to continue talking the long hours of chat then he will see no reason why he can't have his cake and eat it too if he is encouraged that is, so let him be.
I have been there, and done that. And in the end, you have to let the guy straighten out his life before you can have anything with him. As hard as it is, if it was meant to be it will happen. But if he is seriously unhappy with where he is at in the other relationship, he needs to deal with it. Good luck. 
gemery: All good....except for one thing, he is in a relationship.........I really think that needs to be resolved in his life first.
geo
geo
I have to agree here....until he breaks off whatever relationship he is not happy in....he should be off limits...
Put yourself in "her" shoes (there are always two sides to every coin...) would you not want your partner to put an end to it if his interests are elsewhere and stop stringing you along?
Adding a third party does not help to resolve whatever issues he has at home...it just makes it more difficult for ALL parties involved...
Been there...done that doll...someone always gets way too hurt in the end...
Hugz to you girlfriend...I know you'll do the right thing...
Dear Curvy,
He is cheating on his girlfriend with you! Ever hear of emotional infidelity. Just because there has not been any 'pole in hole' action yet does not make this innocent in the slightest. I agree with others who recommend you put yourself in her shoes. Remember most cheaters start out this way. Trust me girl, if he would do it to her, he would also do it to you. I sincerely hope you find someone who is truly available and worth your time. Good luck and take care.
He is cheating on his girlfriend with you! Ever hear of emotional infidelity. Just because there has not been any 'pole in hole' action yet does not make this innocent in the slightest. I agree with others who recommend you put yourself in her shoes. Remember most cheaters start out this way. Trust me girl, if he would do it to her, he would also do it to you. I sincerely hope you find someone who is truly available and worth your time. Good luck and take care.
I have taken all the advice I have been given.....and I have come to a conclusion....
conclusion is this:
I am going to date other men.....JUST DATE! and I am gonna REMOVE myself from lengthy conversations and any other source of communication that will or MIGHT further my interest in him...
the whole time I was thinking...hmmm, THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOO NOT right.....
someone said "having his cake and eating it too"..that statement isn't any further from the truth!
thanks guys....it's truly appreciated....
Wikked knows me well....yeah, I WILL and DID make the right decision.....
cheers and all of you, have a great morning!
Curvy
conclusion is this:
I am going to date other men.....JUST DATE! and I am gonna REMOVE myself from lengthy conversations and any other source of communication that will or MIGHT further my interest in him...
the whole time I was thinking...hmmm, THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOO NOT right.....
someone said "having his cake and eating it too"..that statement isn't any further from the truth!
thanks guys....it's truly appreciated....
Wikked knows me well....yeah, I WILL and DID make the right decision.....
cheers and all of you, have a great morning!
Curvy
curvychick: I have taken all the advice I have been given.....and I have come to a conclusion....
conclusion is this:
I am going to date other men.....JUST DATE! and I am gonna REMOVE myself from lengthy conversations and any other source of communication that will or MIGHT further my interest in him...
the whole time I was thinking...hmmm, THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOO NOT right.....
someone said "having his cake and eating it too"..that statement isn't any further from the truth!
thanks guys....it's truly appreciated....
Wikked knows me well....yeah, I WILL and DID make the right decision.....
cheers and all of you, have a great morning!
Curvy
conclusion is this:
I am going to date other men.....JUST DATE! and I am gonna REMOVE myself from lengthy conversations and any other source of communication that will or MIGHT further my interest in him...
the whole time I was thinking...hmmm, THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOO NOT right.....
someone said "having his cake and eating it too"..that statement isn't any further from the truth!
thanks guys....it's truly appreciated....
Wikked knows me well....yeah, I WILL and DID make the right decision.....
cheers and all of you, have a great morning!
Curvy
Hello
Sucks sometimes, the people we like aren't the ones we can be with, for many reasons. Sounds like you've made a good choice.
kidatheart: Hello
Sucks sometimes, the people we like aren't the ones we can be with, for many reasons. Sounds like you've made a good choice.
Sucks sometimes, the people we like aren't the ones we can be with, for many reasons. Sounds like you've made a good choice.
yep, sure does suck! oh well, c'est la vie!
thanks
.............
Curvy...he still may be the one for you...but he's NOT the one for you RIGHT NOW...
only time will tell...perhaps if he feels the same way you do about him it will encourage him to also do the right thing...
is he married? does he have kids?
you wold be come the implement to the destrukshon of a merrige your morels and skroopls wold make your conchence bother you or i wold hope it wold bother you
ive had this done to me my kids suferd as well as i have from my ex wifes cheating and the other giys it dident bother them waht thay did as it takes 2 not a good thing to have to do to a famly evin if thay want to hert the peple thay are suposto love
wate tell thay leave ther merrige but take worning if thay are willing to doo this to ther wife or husbund it will be a short time be fore thay will do the same to you and you will be on the reseaving end of this hert full selfish ackshon
not a good plan
ive had this done to me my kids suferd as well as i have from my ex wifes cheating and the other giys it dident bother them waht thay did as it takes 2 not a good thing to have to do to a famly evin if thay want to hert the peple thay are suposto love
wate tell thay leave ther merrige but take worning if thay are willing to doo this to ther wife or husbund it will be a short time be fore thay will do the same to you and you will be on the reseaving end of this hert full selfish ackshon
not a good plan
walley: you wold be come the implement to the destrukshon of a merrige your morels and skroopls wold make your conchence bother you or i wold hope it wold bother you
ive had this done to me my kids suferd as well as i have from my ex wifes cheating and the other giys it dident bother them waht thay did as it takes 2 not a good thing to have to do to a famly evin if thay want to hert the peple thay are suposto love wate tell thay leave ther merrige but take worning if thay are willing to doo this to ther wife or husbund it will be a short time be fore thay will do the same to you and you will be on the reseaving end of this hert full selfish ackshon
not a good plan
ive had this done to me my kids suferd as well as i have from my ex wifes cheating and the other giys it dident bother them waht thay did as it takes 2 not a good thing to have to do to a famly evin if thay want to hert the peple thay are suposto love wate tell thay leave ther merrige but take worning if thay are willing to doo this to ther wife or husbund it will be a short time be fore thay will do the same to you and you will be on the reseaving end of this hert full selfish ackshon
not a good plan
That is so true what you just said. When some folks are having fun with their rendevous, they don't think about the consequences to their family and their children.
walley: you wold be come the implement to the destrukshon of a merrige your morels and skroopls wold make your conchence bother you or i wold hope it wold bother you
ive had this done to me my kids suferd as well as i have from my ex wifes cheating and the other giys it dident bother them waht thay did as it takes 2 not a good thing to have to do to a famly evin if thay want to hert the peple thay are suposto love wate tell thay leave ther merrige but take worning if thay are willing to doo this to ther wife or husbund it will be a short time be fore thay will do the same to you and you will be on the reseaving end of this hert full selfish ackshon
not a good plan
ive had this done to me my kids suferd as well as i have from my ex wifes cheating and the other giys it dident bother them waht thay did as it takes 2 not a good thing to have to do to a famly evin if thay want to hert the peple thay are suposto love wate tell thay leave ther merrige but take worning if thay are willing to doo this to ther wife or husbund it will be a short time be fore thay will do the same to you and you will be on the reseaving end of this hert full selfish ackshon
not a good plan
I agree with you Walley...but i just want to add one thing....Curvy would not become the implement of destruction to that marriage...that marriage is already destroyed....and was destroyed the moment he strayed outside of his marriage to find female company other than his wife's....
hi wikked im sher that curvychik wold not poot her self in that posishon as i have wred meny of her posts and she seams to have a hart and conchence good morels and skroopls as well do to her sytarting this thred asking for ideas or advice from all of us and she got a lott of good advice from evry one on this subjekt and good poyint that the merrig is over when he stept over the line like i sed he did it to his wife he will doo it to his new girlfrend in time 9 times out of 10
walley: hi wikked im sher that curvychik wold not poot her self in that posishon as i have wred meny of her posts and she seams to have a hart and conchence good morels and skroopls as well do to her sytarting this thred asking for ideas or advice from all of us and she got a lott of good advice from evry one on this subjekt and good poyint that the merrig is over when he stept over the line like i sed he did it to his wife he will doo it to his new girlfrend in time 9 times out of 10
Hi Walley
I only mentioned Curvy in this thread as it was her story....but what i meant in my reply to you is that i DO NOT blame the third party in an affair...regardless of who it is.
If a man/woman cheats on their spouse...the person they are cheating with i could say has no morals or scruples to become involved with someone they know is married, but they owe that person nothing...it is the married person who chose to step outside the boundaries of marriage that is to blame...and that is why i said that the marriage was destroyed long before a third party got involved....
abselootly agree with you on all poyints as some times the 3rd party dosent kno about the first party witch is exsqusebell but if the 3 party is invalved and knows about the oter person being merryd or other atachet ther not at falt as mutch as the person hoo has willing ly stept over the line
exsampl my brother desided that my girl frend of 6 months was waht he wanted so he destroyd ower realashon ship as well as my girlfrend was unfathfull and thay both very disawnest and liyd to me if thay had bean awnest to me told the trooth it wold have hert for a bitt but i probibly wold have bean ok with it and wisht them the best
and my merrig well thats almost the same but difrent againe lol o well on with life
some relitiv exsamles lol i think
ummmmmmmmmmmmm i think thats it but i totly agree wikked
exsampl my brother desided that my girl frend of 6 months was waht he wanted so he destroyd ower realashon ship as well as my girlfrend was unfathfull and thay both very disawnest and liyd to me if thay had bean awnest to me told the trooth it wold have hert for a bitt but i probibly wold have bean ok with it and wisht them the best
and my merrig well thats almost the same but difrent againe lol o well on with life
some relitiv exsamles lol i think
ummmmmmmmmmmmm i think thats it but i totly agree wikked
walley: abselootly agree with you on all poyints as some times the 3rd party dosent kno about the first party witch is exsqusebell but if the 3 party is invalved and knows about the oter person being merryd or other atachet ther not at falt as mutch as the person hoo has willing ly stept over the line exsampl my brother desided that my girl frend of 6 months was waht he wanted so he destroyd ower realashon ship as well as my girlfrend was unfathfull and thay both very disawnest and liyd to me if thay had bean awnest to me told the trooth it wold have hert for a bitt but i probibly wold have bean ok with it and wisht them the best and my merrig well thats almost the same but difrent againe lol o well on with life
some relitiv exsamles lol i think
ummmmmmmmmmmmm i think thats it but i totly agree wikked
some relitiv exsamles lol i think
ummmmmmmmmmmmm i think thats it but i totly agree wikked
Hey Walley...
For sure when the cheaters are friends/relatives the hurt is that much more because they are people you trusted...and you are very generous to say had they told the truth, you would have dealt with it in time....unfortunately part of the appeal of an affair is the "forbidden", which leads me to believe that what you brother and your ex g/f entered into was not "real"....
Hey Guys and gals!
first off, sorry for not reading up on the GREAT advice all of you have given me.....I have been "enjoying" my single life!
getting back to some of my responses, first off, he is NOT married.....just to let you all know
secondly, he IS still living with her BUT not???
regardless, I have let that go.....I have too much respect for MYSELF and actually, believe it or not, "her" to take this any further
no doubt he still calls me and we chat but briefly...
I am not that available to him....and haven't been for some time...
now, the new conclusion to this is that he is NOW SINGLE....it became OVER in the beginning of November.....
We have eased off the phone calls BIG TIME and I have taken a different avenue....
went away to Cuba for a week...met a heapful of men and really, I don't even think I WANT to be with him....
My logic to not wanting him???? who's to say that some chick doesn't enter his life and he does the same to me????
My mom once said something that made a lot of sense and I will translate it in english....(don't know if it makes a lot of sense in english but here goes...)
Don't spit up in the sky cause one day, it's gonna hit you right square in the face"
I think that we will remain as "buddies" and that my friend, is the best thing to do.....
I posted this cause it was wayyyyyyyyyyy out of character for me to be like that and I just needed some reassuring that my morals played a BIGGER part than my brain!
thanks for all the support and the advice....
trust me, your voices did NOT fall upon deaf ears!
cheers to all
the HAPPIER Curvy
first off, sorry for not reading up on the GREAT advice all of you have given me.....I have been "enjoying" my single life!
getting back to some of my responses, first off, he is NOT married.....just to let you all know
secondly, he IS still living with her BUT not???
regardless, I have let that go.....I have too much respect for MYSELF and actually, believe it or not, "her" to take this any further
no doubt he still calls me and we chat but briefly...
I am not that available to him....and haven't been for some time...
now, the new conclusion to this is that he is NOW SINGLE....it became OVER in the beginning of November.....
We have eased off the phone calls BIG TIME and I have taken a different avenue....
went away to Cuba for a week...met a heapful of men and really, I don't even think I WANT to be with him....
My logic to not wanting him???? who's to say that some chick doesn't enter his life and he does the same to me????
My mom once said something that made a lot of sense and I will translate it in english....(don't know if it makes a lot of sense in english but here goes...)
Don't spit up in the sky cause one day, it's gonna hit you right square in the face"
I think that we will remain as "buddies" and that my friend, is the best thing to do.....
I posted this cause it was wayyyyyyyyyyy out of character for me to be like that and I just needed some reassuring that my morals played a BIGGER part than my brain!
thanks for all the support and the advice....
trust me, your voices did NOT fall upon deaf ears!
cheers to all
the HAPPIER Curvy
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I met someone about 7 years ago.... we hit it off however, never did I take it as him coming on to me....just thought he was a nice guy.... (I am naiive like that...)
(we are in the same cottage community).......so, for about 2 years, I would see him and want to find out where he was staying....cause I wanted to know more of him.....never found him and so, I gave up....thinking I was taking this wayyyy more personal.....and I was never his type anyways.... (girls think like that)
for the next few years, I was focusing on other matters in my life and never thought about it again...
just recently, I bumped into him again ..... he makes it an effort to come and seek me and after 7 hours of talking...(yep SEVEN HOURS) he tells me that he's been crazy for me since the first day...........
however, my LUCK has it that he ended up being in a relationship and is now wanting to NOT be with her anymore..... it's been a struggle for about a year now and he's just not happy.....
I have an issue with this and told him that unless he is "free" I cannot take this further cause just in our talks, I am very interested.....however, we have talked over the phone MANY times, sent each other texts and pretty much say g'nite to each other every night for the last month or so...and g'morning.... with that,. I am starting to LIKE this guy ALOT....more than I probably think....
He DID tell me that for now, "we" have to take it easy cause it isn't fair for him and I to start something when he hasn't ended what is going on in his life at this moment......
he lives about an hour away from me ....... finally calls me one day and we make plans to meet...that he would love to have a beer with me and just sit and chit chat....ok, so I Am thinking "I am soooooooo ready for this...."
he comes over, we talk.....and talk.........aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand talk......for another SIX hours...about personal things, life, us, him, me....the whole enchilada....and it was actually COMFORTING to know that we can have great conversation and refreshing to know that relationships DO take time...and getting to know one another is the first step to MAYBE something wonderful???
I truly believe this was his way of telling me what was going on......and it was not with alterior motives..........(EG: just for a roll in the hay) Gotta give him KUDOS for at least having the common courtesy to talk to me face to face and not tell me over the phone....
I would have LOVED to take it further but I didn't......nor did he...
so, this is it.....
do I wait to see what develops out of this.....and halt any/all other dates that may pass OR do I take it with a grain of salt and carry on?????
Me NOT taking the initiative with him...does that make me a tease or does that make HIM wanting to know me further....
This is nuts cause I don't think I have LIKED someone as much as him.....in SUCH a long time...... and just SEEING him makes me weak in the knees....
worst part? never thought someone can make me feel like that again...weird huh?
ok, so any opinion is appreciated....
Cheers
Curvy