People .... (28)
PrOwLeR_: You can spend years thinking you know a person and or people, only one day to find out that you really have no idea of who they really are ...
I must be going through another mid life crisis or something, I don't know .. its like everything I have ever believed is not true ..
Maybe its maturity catching up with me or maybe I am after all these years turning into a bitter old man. Could be I spend too much time with myself ruminating where perhaps I should get out more.
The scarey thing is I don't care if long term friendships are left behind, even some of my siblings I can no longer bare to have anything to do with them.
Maybe its the drama associated with these people I am over, I'll think on it some more ...Anyone else at this stage or been through this that may shed some light on what this is all about ?? .....
I must be going through another mid life crisis or something, I don't know .. its like everything I have ever believed is not true ..
Maybe its maturity catching up with me or maybe I am after all these years turning into a bitter old man. Could be I spend too much time with myself ruminating where perhaps I should get out more.
The scarey thing is I don't care if long term friendships are left behind, even some of my siblings I can no longer bare to have anything to do with them.
Maybe its the drama associated with these people I am over, I'll think on it some more ...Anyone else at this stage or been through this that may shed some light on what this is all about ?? .....
i feel the same way too, i would be happiest been on a desert island with just a dog for company.
i think its just that we have had so many people let us down as years go by and its all too much, we have given and given and sometimes we forget who we are as a person. I have left many many friendships behind to move on in life, i have been told i am a runner, life gets hard or boring,,, i run.im sure i have gypsy blood. i dont think you are a grumpy old man, i just think you need to do something to make you happy. go with whatever you want to do, you only live once, ive always said on my deathbed i dont want to say "i wish i had"
Prowler, you arent the only one.
I have a brother whom I havent seen for over 10 years, by his choice as I told him that if he wanted to see me or speak to me he would have to make the first move. That was after years of it always being me who made the effort. I have spoken to him last year over the phone when Dad was crook, but still even then, he expected me to do his bidding and running around. Still
he is family so I will keep the contact open but I wont actively pursue it.
Sometimes I think I live in an alternate universe, as my reality is so much different to what people see on the surface. But then, people do only tend to see what they want to see, only what will affect them.
Yep sometimes I think we do tend to spend too much time with ourselves especially if you are a "loner" type of person.
I have joined a few Meetup groups and make sure I go to at least a couple of activites a month to meet new people and to get out of the house because I have recognised that I cannot stay with my own company 100% of the time as it just isnt healthy for me.
I have a brother whom I havent seen for over 10 years, by his choice as I told him that if he wanted to see me or speak to me he would have to make the first move. That was after years of it always being me who made the effort. I have spoken to him last year over the phone when Dad was crook, but still even then, he expected me to do his bidding and running around. Still
he is family so I will keep the contact open but I wont actively pursue it.Sometimes I think I live in an alternate universe, as my reality is so much different to what people see on the surface. But then, people do only tend to see what they want to see, only what will affect them.
Yep sometimes I think we do tend to spend too much time with ourselves especially if you are a "loner" type of person.
I have joined a few Meetup groups and make sure I go to at least a couple of activites a month to meet new people and to get out of the house because I have recognised that I cannot stay with my own company 100% of the time as it just isnt healthy for me.
I don't think it's necessarily a mid-life crisis P, I think we just get to a stage in our lives where we realise that certain people just don't do it for us anymore and we have the maturity to do something about it.
I know I have, I've gradually shed people out of my life who I realised weren't enhancing it in any way - in fact after being in their company I often felt quite drained and even found myself questioning MY life which up until then I'd been quite happy with lol.
Every minute, hour and day of our lives we are growing (one hopes), so to me it makes perfect sense that people who I was quite happy to associate with at different times no longer fit into my life picture.
Your life is yours, to live as you see fit - my suggestion would be that you don't bash yourself up over this, just realise that it's perfectly ok and perfectly normal and will probably be quite a liberating feeling when you've come to terms with it
I know I have, I've gradually shed people out of my life who I realised weren't enhancing it in any way - in fact after being in their company I often felt quite drained and even found myself questioning MY life which up until then I'd been quite happy with lol.
Every minute, hour and day of our lives we are growing (one hopes), so to me it makes perfect sense that people who I was quite happy to associate with at different times no longer fit into my life picture.
Your life is yours, to live as you see fit - my suggestion would be that you don't bash yourself up over this, just realise that it's perfectly ok and perfectly normal and will probably be quite a liberating feeling when you've come to terms with it
YeaH I am not overly concerned, some of the people I refer too have become too much like hard work to hang onto anyways ...
Family is family and I think stepping back and looking in sometimes reveals things we so often choose to ignore or overlook ... I have a fantastic relationship with my three children, well they are all adults now and I suppose for me this is enough ....
Guess my tide is just turning, so I may as well just drift for a while and see what adventures and or people come my way ...
Thanks for your input ladies ... I hope you all find whatever it is we all seem to be looking for and or lacking ...
Family is family and I think stepping back and looking in sometimes reveals things we so often choose to ignore or overlook ... I have a fantastic relationship with my three children, well they are all adults now and I suppose for me this is enough ....
Guess my tide is just turning, so I may as well just drift for a while and see what adventures and or people come my way ...
Thanks for your input ladies ... I hope you all find whatever it is we all seem to be looking for and or lacking ...
PrOwLeR_: You can spend years thinking you know a person and or people, only one day to find out that you really have no idea of who they really are ...
I must be going through another mid life crisis or something, I don't know .. its like everything I have ever believed is not true ..
Maybe its maturity catching up with me or maybe I am after all these years turning into a bitter old man. Could be I spend too much time with myself ruminating where perhaps I should get out more.
The scarey thing is I don't care if long term friendships are left behind, even some of my siblings I can no longer bare to have anything to do with them.
Maybe its the drama associated with these people I am over, I'll think on it some more ...Anyone else at this stage or been through this that may shed some light on what this is all about ?? .....
I must be going through another mid life crisis or something, I don't know .. its like everything I have ever believed is not true ..
Maybe its maturity catching up with me or maybe I am after all these years turning into a bitter old man. Could be I spend too much time with myself ruminating where perhaps I should get out more.
The scarey thing is I don't care if long term friendships are left behind, even some of my siblings I can no longer bare to have anything to do with them.
Maybe its the drama associated with these people I am over, I'll think on it some more ...Anyone else at this stage or been through this that may shed some light on what this is all about ?? .....
Yeah I get that.
I look at my life and I wonder what has it been reduced to and why is it no better than the winos living in your local park. I play the father figure couple of times a week and since Im not the dominate or equal parent that too seems like a waste of time. I share a laugh with strangers in bars , many I will never see again, none will be around a BBQ in a year or two to reminisce with, no one to recall the past. .. Tomorrow I will wake up and try to find a meaning to survive that day and hopefully I can keep doing it until one day I can cross that line. Im sure there is no prize in the end but a realization how my life has became a waste of time. That’s it, there is no more apart from work.
I can do nothing but laugh
OMFG.............. how I so relate to these posts!
PrOwLeR_: You can spend years thinking you know a person and or people, only one day to find out that you really have no idea of who they really are ...
I must be going through another mid life crisis or something, I don't know .. its like everything I have ever believed is not true ..
Maybe its maturity catching up with me or maybe I am after all these years turning into a bitter old man. Could be I spend too much time with myself ruminating where perhaps I should get out more.
The scarey thing is I don't care if long term friendships are left behind, even some of my siblings I can no longer bare to have anything to do with them.
Maybe its the drama associated with these people I am over, I'll think on it some more ...Anyone else at this stage or been through this that may shed some light on what this is all about ?? .....
I must be going through another mid life crisis or something, I don't know .. its like everything I have ever believed is not true ..
Maybe its maturity catching up with me or maybe I am after all these years turning into a bitter old man. Could be I spend too much time with myself ruminating where perhaps I should get out more.
The scarey thing is I don't care if long term friendships are left behind, even some of my siblings I can no longer bare to have anything to do with them.
Maybe its the drama associated with these people I am over, I'll think on it some more ...Anyone else at this stage or been through this that may shed some light on what this is all about ?? .....
In the wise words of an ancient sage "... this too shall pass."
Yeah, I've been there done that, and I can say that after a while, something happened and I re-connected with those that I "left behind". And things are great now.
I can say that it is part of a particular phase of "mind sifting" and regrouping. Your conscience is wanting some space to work out who you are again for yourself, not who you are as defined by your past relationships, friendships, and family.
Take it easy, and don't burn your bridges. Because this phase that you talk about here will pass and you may want to reconnect again with some from your past after a while.....
Halv0: In the wise words of an ancient sage "... this too shall pass."
Yeah, I've been there done that, and I can say that after a while, something happened and I re-connected with those that I "left behind". And things are great now.
I can say that it is part of a particular phase of "mind sifting" and regrouping. Your conscience is wanting some space to work out who you are again for yourself, not who you are as defined by your past relationships, friendships, and family.
Take it easy, and don't burn your bridges. Because this phase that you talk about here will pass and you may want to reconnect again with some from your past after a while.....
Yeah, I've been there done that, and I can say that after a while, something happened and I re-connected with those that I "left behind". And things are great now.
I can say that it is part of a particular phase of "mind sifting" and regrouping. Your conscience is wanting some space to work out who you are again for yourself, not who you are as defined by your past relationships, friendships, and family.
Take it easy, and don't burn your bridges. Because this phase that you talk about here will pass and you may want to reconnect again with some from your past after a while.....
I like what you have to say and some of it is probably applicable here ... The relationships being severed here are not worth going back for even with family, they have for as long as I can recall caused me heartache, worry and grief.
I think I am looking for myself again without another's definition, I think you identified for me where I am at ...
and AA ... I understand every word you wrote, I walked that path many years back.
The most disappointing thing is I always thought I had one dead set ridgey didge absolute true friend ... this is the real heartbreak for me in the knowing I am wrong about this person.
Still there are many carcasses littered along my life's past of what used to be ... I guess I can just put this one down to a mass cull and keep on moving ...
PrOwLeR_: I like what you have to say and some of it is probably applicable here ... The relationships being severed here are not worth going back for even with family, they have for as long as I can recall caused me heartache, worry and grief.
I think I am looking for myself again without another's definition, I think you identified for me where I am at ...and AA ... I understand every word you wrote, I walked that path many years back.The most disappointing thing is I always thought I had one dead set ridgey didge absolute true friend ... this is the real heartbreak for me in the knowing I am wrong about this person.
Still there are many carcasses littered along my life's past of what used to be ... I guess I can just put this one down to a mass cull and keep on moving ...
I think I am looking for myself again without another's definition, I think you identified for me where I am at ...and AA ... I understand every word you wrote, I walked that path many years back.The most disappointing thing is I always thought I had one dead set ridgey didge absolute true friend ... this is the real heartbreak for me in the knowing I am wrong about this person.
Still there are many carcasses littered along my life's past of what used to be ... I guess I can just put this one down to a mass cull and keep on moving ...
Cheer up Prowler...
People come and go in our lifetimes... for all sorts of reasons... but the main one is that usually either they and ourselves meet crossroads and we walk down different paths..
and in walking different paths, its our curiosity to explore and learn different things.. sometimes our knowledge increases, and we throw away old habits and our values change with knowledge... and then we no longer need to be held back by friends who have not reached that same crossroad..
so, I see it as normal...
But when this happens, I think it is also normal to grieve for the loss of (not so much friendship) but more around the life change and friend change... especially if for a while you walk the new path alone.
But to be true to yourself... you need to recognise that this happens, and be lonely or solitary for a while, until you meet with new friends who are walking along the path that you are now on..
Oh, and I forgot to say..
I have gotten rid of a lifestyle that completely engulfed me for years.
and that means that I had to stop with seeing those people that belonged to that lifestyle...
and yes, sometimes its hard , but once resolute that I was not going back there again... I haven't .. although the temptation is sometimes there...
but seriously, I think, did it do me anygood ? and when I get the resounding No. for my answer, I know that I maybe have touches of loneliness sometimes... but I can kick myself up the butty and stay connected into what I have created as my life now..and just improve what I have now...
I have gotten rid of a lifestyle that completely engulfed me for years.
and that means that I had to stop with seeing those people that belonged to that lifestyle...
and yes, sometimes its hard , but once resolute that I was not going back there again... I haven't .. although the temptation is sometimes there...
but seriously, I think, did it do me anygood ? and when I get the resounding No. for my answer, I know that I maybe have touches of loneliness sometimes... but I can kick myself up the butty and stay connected into what I have created as my life now..and just improve what I have now...
i have a problem with people getting too close.
i make many friends, some even want to be close friends, but when ive known them for a while, i want to go away somewhere else.
i supposed im scared of letting people get too attached to me, because of been hurt so many times by people i have trusted.
i wonder sometimes if its because im a loner, although i love to go out and party, but when i go home i feel safe.
im happy in my own company, but it does get a little lonely at certain times.
is it normal to not want anyone at all even family to get too close?
i make many friends, some even want to be close friends, but when ive known them for a while, i want to go away somewhere else.
i supposed im scared of letting people get too attached to me, because of been hurt so many times by people i have trusted.
i wonder sometimes if its because im a loner, although i love to go out and party, but when i go home i feel safe.
im happy in my own company, but it does get a little lonely at certain times.
is it normal to not want anyone at all even family to get too close?
asha69: i have a problem with people getting too close.
i make many friends, some even want to be close friends, but when ive known them for a while, i want to go away somewhere else.
i supposed im scared of letting people get too attached to me, because of been hurt so many times by people i have trusted.
i wonder sometimes if its because im a loner, although i love to go out and party, but when i go home i feel safe.
im happy in my own company, but it does get a little lonely at certain times.
is it normal to not want anyone at all even family to get too close?
i make many friends, some even want to be close friends, but when ive known them for a while, i want to go away somewhere else.
i supposed im scared of letting people get too attached to me, because of been hurt so many times by people i have trusted.
i wonder sometimes if its because im a loner, although i love to go out and party, but when i go home i feel safe.
im happy in my own company, but it does get a little lonely at certain times.
is it normal to not want anyone at all even family to get too close?
FarrrrrrrrrrrrK!!! You sound like me
If i don't say another thing on this forum ever again
You have discribed me to a tee
Farrrrrrrrrk!!! Get out of my body girlfriend
(enough room for two) 
ps, i used to like to go out and party
Those days are gone
Can't believe you said all that
pss, It's so me
psss, Farrrrrrk <----- don't usually swear so much
B4 you go to tassie
try werribee meat 
I love you
unless you r ferral
asha69: i have a problem with people getting too close.
i make many friends, some even want to be close friends, but when ive known them for a while, i want to go away somewhere else.
i supposed im scared of letting people get too attached to me, because of been hurt so many times by people i have trusted.
i wonder sometimes if its because im a loner, although i love to go out and party, but when i go home i feel safe.
im happy in my own company, but it does get a little lonely at certain times.
is it normal to not want anyone at all even family to get too close?
i make many friends, some even want to be close friends, but when ive known them for a while, i want to go away somewhere else.
i supposed im scared of letting people get too attached to me, because of been hurt so many times by people i have trusted.
i wonder sometimes if its because im a loner, although i love to go out and party, but when i go home i feel safe.
im happy in my own company, but it does get a little lonely at certain times.
is it normal to not want anyone at all even family to get too close?
I understand how you are feeling about friends and relos.
When they have let you down once, do you want it again? When they let you down again, do you want to continue the relationship.
We do each have our own expectations, wants and needs. Not everyone can deliver them. We just have to be able to accept people as they are.
I do have many issues with my brother's sister. He does, too (we have the same birth-parents but argue over whose sister she is). We are both polite to her and give her due respect to what she has gone through but she does not recognise the pain we have gone through or she has caused us over the years or what we believe she has done to us.
At times we value our current relationships and relate those to our past relationships. At the time, it does seem to be the right way to go. Other times, we might wish that things had been different and we had developed or continued those relationships.
Hindsight and foresight are the most wonderful things anyone can achieve.
I have made my choices through life. I may have regrets but that is where I am now. My choices.
wash2u: I did manage to watch TV last night (many thanks to Telstra killing my Internet service). Maybe you should watch "Mrs Browns Boys" a bit.
Those 'pump-ups' had me laughing
Those 'pump-ups' had me laughing
its a funny show eh, wasnt going to watch it in the beginning, but it has a strange effect on me and made me watch it every week now
cant beat pommy comedy Lookin4missright: FarrrrrrrrrrrrK!!! You sound like me
If i don't say another thing on this forum ever again
You have discribed me to a tee
Farrrrrrrrrk!!! Get out of my body girlfriend (enough room for two) ps, i used to like to go out and party
Those days are gone Can't believe you said all that
pss, It's so me psss, Farrrrrrk <----- don't usually swear so much B4 you go to tassie try werribee meat
I love you
unless you r ferral
If i don't say another thing on this forum ever again
You have discribed me to a tee
Farrrrrrrrrk!!! Get out of my body girlfriend (enough room for two) ps, i used to like to go out and party
Those days are gone Can't believe you said all that
pss, It's so me psss, Farrrrrrk <----- don't usually swear so much B4 you go to tassie try werribee meat
I love you
unless you r ferral
no im far from feral and i shower every day, sometimes twice a day i will go to the melbourne meet but not this year as have sooo much on with moving to tassie at the end of this year. but at least i will be nearer
maybe thats why some singles are on here, because its safe?
i feel guys are too slow on here too in coming forwards, maybe they are all chicken
couldnt find a chicken so a sheep will do
we have our perth meet tomorrow night, so maybe the one will be there?
love ya too lookin
asha69: i have a problem with people getting too close.
i make many friends, some even want to be close friends, but when ive known them for a while, i want to go away somewhere else.
i supposed im scared of letting people get too attached to me, because of been hurt so many times by people i have trusted.
i wonder sometimes if its because im a loner, although i love to go out and party, but when i go home i feel safe.
im happy in my own company, but it does get a little lonely at certain times.
is it normal to not want anyone at all even family to get too close?
i make many friends, some even want to be close friends, but when ive known them for a while, i want to go away somewhere else.
i supposed im scared of letting people get too attached to me, because of been hurt so many times by people i have trusted.
i wonder sometimes if its because im a loner, although i love to go out and party, but when i go home i feel safe.
im happy in my own company, but it does get a little lonely at certain times.
is it normal to not want anyone at all even family to get too close?
Been there too Asha. It took a lot of swearing at the ocean for me to work through the pain and hurt and betrayal of those who were closest to me, but I had to love again to truely live again. And that meant opening myself up to more potential hurt.
My fiance is truely wonderful, sensitive, raw, genuine, timid, a lioness, unconventional and traditional. I had to risk being deeply hurt by allowing her into my vulnerable heart.
It was scary and the fear of being hurt again was a tough wall to break through. But I can say for me it was worth it.
Yeah, it is normal to want someone, and it is normal to be afraid of being hurt again. And it is normal to build up subconscious barriers to protect our hearts. But we must break down the walls around our hearts, just like they did around Berlin. Otherwise we remain in a prison of our own making....
I hope your move to Tassy will go smoothly for you....
I found living in the here and now rather hard to stay with, however that’s what actually is, all the rest is in past or simply wishful thinking, grasping. The right now is actual reality, feeling comfortable is dependent on whether we are at ease with ourselves. Trying to relive past is of course impossible, trying to force tomorrow into now is also impossible, so really no point in tormenting ourselves.
One thing that is certain, the word for it is “change” our thoughts change, experience changes, though I know probably some will disagree, it's important to know, understand, our nature is moving energy. Constantly change is occurring, nonetheless its still flowing energy, flowing from one change to the next; energy, what we impute its nature is, is what we think it is. Doesn't mean it actually is, it's just perception based on past experience possibly a flawed judgment, could be...
Family members get married or whatever they then put more of their energy in areas quite different to the areas they used to while we enjoyed closer daily interacting with them. Now they have work mates, wives, husbands, children and changed lifestyles so it’s natural, it is understandable that they will go off down a different track.
What we build on is i believe conditioned by our motivation, that sows the seeds of experience.
One thing that is certain, the word for it is “change” our thoughts change, experience changes, though I know probably some will disagree, it's important to know, understand, our nature is moving energy. Constantly change is occurring, nonetheless its still flowing energy, flowing from one change to the next; energy, what we impute its nature is, is what we think it is. Doesn't mean it actually is, it's just perception based on past experience possibly a flawed judgment, could be...
Family members get married or whatever they then put more of their energy in areas quite different to the areas they used to while we enjoyed closer daily interacting with them. Now they have work mates, wives, husbands, children and changed lifestyles so it’s natural, it is understandable that they will go off down a different track.
What we build on is i believe conditioned by our motivation, that sows the seeds of experience.
Halv0: Been there too Asha. It took a lot of swearing at the ocean for me to work through the pain and hurt and betrayal of those who were closest to me, but I had to love again to truely live again. And that meant opening myself up to more potential hurt.
My fiance is truely wonderful, sensitive, raw, genuine, timid, a lioness, unconventional and traditional. I had to risk being deeply hurt by allowing her into my vulnerable heart.
It was scary and the fear of being hurt again was a tough wall to break through. But I can say for me it was worth it.
Yeah, it is normal to want someone, and it is normal to be afraid of being hurt again. And it is normal to build up subconscious barriers to protect our hearts. But we must break down the walls around our hearts, just like they did around Berlin. Otherwise we remain in a prison of our own making....
I hope your move to Tassy will go smoothly for you....
My fiance is truely wonderful, sensitive, raw, genuine, timid, a lioness, unconventional and traditional. I had to risk being deeply hurt by allowing her into my vulnerable heart.
It was scary and the fear of being hurt again was a tough wall to break through. But I can say for me it was worth it.
Yeah, it is normal to want someone, and it is normal to be afraid of being hurt again. And it is normal to build up subconscious barriers to protect our hearts. But we must break down the walls around our hearts, just like they did around Berlin. Otherwise we remain in a prison of our own making....
I hope your move to Tassy will go smoothly for you....
hey halvo, it sounds like you are really happy
i would love to have them feelings again.
how do you break down the walls thats taken years to build up?
the funny part about it is i love men,so not anti men at all, but ive been living alone for nearly 2 years and had my own company,so i suppose its the thought of someone truly knowing me all over again?
and to be honest, im the one that finishes relationships, and im so scared to do that to someone else, maybe im protecting them, i just dont know, its soooo hard been me I am very selective with friends! But I too have make mistakes, my mates were always working always doing better than me? A few years ago now I changed my ways a little bit, and started landing the jobs I wanted to do! Now that I am not the guy that struggles as they now do? I have now become the outcast?
No I am not rich or anything, and I always share what I have, like a mate broke his car and I let him drive my car to work for weeks? I worked nights at the time so I didn’t need the car during the day,
People are just strange!
No I am not rich or anything, and I always share what I have, like a mate broke his car and I let him drive my car to work for weeks? I worked nights at the time so I didn’t need the car during the day,
People are just strange!
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I must be going through another mid life crisis or something, I don't know .. its like everything I have ever believed is not true ..
Maybe its maturity catching up with me or maybe I am after all these years turning into a bitter old man. Could be I spend too much time with myself ruminating where perhaps I should get out more.
The scarey thing is I don't care if long term friendships are left behind, even some of my siblings I can no longer bare to have anything to do with them.
Maybe its the drama associated with these people I am over, I'll think on it some more ...
Anyone else at this stage or been through this that may shed some light on what this is all about ?? .....