Reasons, Seasons and Lifetimes (19)

I am a bit proud of what my parents taught me. A lot of their generations' values have been questioned over the years. Okay, it worked for them mostly. Divorce was not a real option for many although my grandmother did walk away from an abusive 2nd marriage and had to work as a cleaner to bring up her children in the 40s.

But there are 3 sides to every story....her's, mine and the whole story. When I separated from my wife, I lived in a garage until the property settlment was done (shafted in my opinion but....).

My sister at the time was going through a very messy divorce and he was ripping her off big time (her opinion but close enough to the truth). She was in daily contact with my ex and my children. My dear darling sister would call me nearly every day to see how I was going and what were my plans for the future. From one of her work colleagues, I was informed that my dear darling ex-sister was passing on all of my thoughts.

A lot of stuff that has come out in later years is that I would not take my 16 & 15 yo children for weekends and that this showed that I did not really care for them. When you live in a garage with only enough room for 1 bed and a kitchenette, it is a bit hard to have them stay over for any period of time.

End result was that I did have very limited access to my children because the Family Court decided I had somewhere for me to live and as I didn't have suitable accommodation for my childrem, she got 80% of everything. And the CSA said that I should make sure I contributed 28% of my gross income (before Income Tax of 25%) to the "family home" to ensure they should live in "good comfort."

Yes, dear ladies, I do understand (most often do not accept) where the fathers are a bit peeved about some outcomes and become bitter.

She did end up with a home debt free and was earning more than me plus my CSA contributions. And still she complained about how hard life was for her.

Do you ever step back and think about the whole circumstances?