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I do not see through eyes any more, there are no exits at my door
Free to swing, in and out, I have died, I just found out, and to this, there’s more
As he told me, your life is over, can’t you see, he absurdly screamed at me
I can see, I can see, I shouted and I yelled, I am not dead, No! I cannot be.
Remove yourself I was ordered to do, now come and pay, your debt is due
For in your death my life will be, all of what you once, aspired to be
You got it wrong you wasted it, as he laughed and ranted, tormenting me
It’s now my turn now he sni**ered, from here you’ll watch, yes you’ll see
Of how you could have made it, because now your life is, Me!
A passenger of my hapless mind, as I am shown my glimpse of thee
My spirit took over my body, as my person lay lifeless in tatters
The true meaning of my life I just got, not now, that it really matters!
The drugs are finally working; at last my brain, yes it’s slowing down
My burning room, my loss of mind, my twisted painful hideous frown
At last I am all but free, as I am lowered down into the dug out ground
Could I really be dead? I asked myself, without even murmuring, a single sound
In dire disbelief and manic panic I just have now realized my final fate
God I wish I had put in order, all those things I believed would wait
My children do they really know, how I loved them, with all that was my very heart?
They are so tearful of my passing; their final goodbye, my too early a, time to part
In my mournful strains of fear, I stood there, quietly, just waiting, here, all alone
I keep hearing pitiful voices, crying, pleading, and begging, just wanting to go home
The devil appeared in front of my eyes, smiling profusely, he looked all over me
His evil grin and his piercing eyes, I feared, was he to be, my final destiny?
And for that moment I surrendered, I just caved in and feel tearfully to my knees
Forty seven years I had wasted, love only once tasted, I had blown it all, with such ease
Why do you wait here the devil asked me, have you still not learnt your truth, as yet?
No I replied, as I feared to speak, what is it I asked please tell me, I bellowed as he left
My eyes were heavy and weary as I franticly opened them up from my dream
This passing had been, just my nightmare; I am alive, yes alive I needed to scream
The meaning to my life had been answered in my devilish nightmare that night
So people take heed of what I tell you, or you may too find, you, on this torrid plight
If you love someone then just tell them, show them each day over, through and through
And when you don’t like someone, forgive them, it’s the loving thing to do
When all your days seem empty, no partner for your love to share
Remember the depths of my hell hole, and be thankful, of those all around you, whom care!
I posted this on facebook and realised not a lot has changed for me in seven years since I wrote this ...
I tell people that matter to me that they matter, just so they know, in case I never get to tell them ...
anyway I am off again ...............................