my best friend for 10 years ' the alcoholic ' died today from cirosis of the liver (47)
sasseezlakes entrance, Victoria Australia1 Threads 3,150 PostsIts a dam shame when a thread about when a persons life has ended had to become a debate ... not good i say...... 
Has anyone of you ever tried to convince an alcoholic to stop drinking? Have you ever had the frustration of seeing that person falling off the wagon again and again?
My brother died age 39, we all tried as a family to help him but unless the person wants help there is nothing you can do. It's been a long time since his death and I still wonder if there could have been something else for us to do. One is angry and helpless.
Gilly I know what you are going through, take a hug and try not to blame yourself.
My brother died age 39, we all tried as a family to help him but unless the person wants help there is nothing you can do. It's been a long time since his death and I still wonder if there could have been something else for us to do. One is angry and helpless.
Gilly I know what you are going through, take a hug and try not to blame yourself.
wooffy: .
It does not matter how a person dies you always try to think how could this have been prevented. A life that is snuffed out too soon is always a waste it does not matter how it happens.
It does not matter how a person dies you always try to think how could this have been prevented. A life that is snuffed out too soon is always a waste it does not matter how it happens.
A death can never be prevented, in my opinion - we are allotted a certain time and we dont know how long or short that time is.
And, again, in my opinion, a life is NEVER wasted ...... Not everyone gets to live to over 100. A tiny baby or toddler or teenager that dies ... is NOT a waste of life - there will always be a "lesson" for others to learn from them - their life, or their death.
A religious teacher once said to me that many Angels walk amongst us, we are unaware of who they are - and when a particular "senseless" death occurs, we should not grieve for their "wasted" lives - but look and learn from the lesson they left for us. Not learning anything from them is more grievious.
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Yes, it can be annoying when a Thread Authors words get twisted and analysed out of context. Gilly has a flambouyant way of writing - one has to understand that he is one of the kindest and warmhearted members here. I too would give a title to a friend, if I posted something after they died...... Like.... My heroin junky friend died from an overdose. And would get mighty upset and hurt if folk then blamed ME for the friend being a junky. Friends are people we accept for WHO they are, not WHAT they are.
smoky:
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Yes, it can be annoying when a Thread Authors words get twisted and analysed out of context. Gilly has a flambouyant way of writing - one has to understand that he is one of the kindest and warmhearted members here. I too would give a title to a friend, if I posted something after they died...... Like.... My heroin junky friend died from an overdose. And would get mighty upset and hurt if folk then blamed ME for the friend being a junky. Friends are people we accept for WHO they are, not WHAT they are.
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Yes, it can be annoying when a Thread Authors words get twisted and analysed out of context. Gilly has a flambouyant way of writing - one has to understand that he is one of the kindest and warmhearted members here. I too would give a title to a friend, if I posted something after they died...... Like.... My heroin junky friend died from an overdose. And would get mighty upset and hurt if folk then blamed ME for the friend being a junky. Friends are people we accept for WHO they are, not WHAT they are.
I'm sorry if you feel annoyed, Smoky, and to other fellow members who feel the same way.
The way it was said and seeing that word, "the alcoholic", describing his best friend, I found it so disrespectful and disloyal.. and it touched a raw nerve in me. There was no explanation or anything other than the crying emoticon and I thought it hypocritical.
I never put the blame on Gilly for not being able to help his friend. I know that it's only the person himself who can do anything about it. I also have an uncle who died of liver cirrhosis and we watched him drink himself to death unable to do anything. We never discussed or even mentioned it in the family out of respect for my cousins and their loss.
Amaryllis: I'm sorry if you feel annoyed, Smoky, and to other fellow members who feel the same way.
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Hey, no problemo. Its like we having a Wake here for Gillies friend ... You know those party-like gatherings after the funeral, where all the family and friends get together and talk...? They each have their own views of the deceased one ... and sometimes there are even arguments, and some get drunk and cry, and others are joyful, and others could swear blind they saw the ghost eating a piece of cake ........and laughing at them ...... and some old uncle is trying to convince everyone else about something ... and some are eyeing the furniture and paintings ......?
and some are just enjoying the tea and cake, or wine, or whatever else is going free ......
oh well i've got to make a " speech " at the funeral this week ...and still thinikng about what to say ?
gillyloves69: oh well i've got to make a " speech " at the funeral this week ...and still thinikng about what to say ?
Hi Gilly,
I was talking about my brother on this thread. My mother to this day knows that my brother died of alcoholism, though she will never say that that was the reason for his death. When I think of him I remember the bad days, but mostly the good.
I would focus on all the good sides in my speech, celebrate the person behind the illness. I am sure you will find the right words.
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