Emotional Blackmailers ....... (51)
Yep,a little Guilt goes a loooooong way!
smoky: Anyone here ever been in a relationship with an Emotional Blackmailer..?
Could be a husband/wife,
a child,
friend,
parent .......
This is a person who gets you to do things you would rather choose not to do .... but you find yourself always ending up doing what they want, and there is no pay-off for you, except peace from them, once they get their own way.
Could be a husband/wife,
a child,
friend,
parent .......
This is a person who gets you to do things you would rather choose not to do .... but you find yourself always ending up doing what they want, and there is no pay-off for you, except peace from them, once they get their own way.
Yep..... was married to one..... until I wasn't prepared to put up with her affiar..... The one time I don't do as she wants... she dumps me. !
Freedom at last
I have never allowed myself to be emotionally blackmailed!! 
....why do you think I'm still single?
....why do you think I'm still single?
Yes had one, left me for her ex in the end. Well at least I learned a lesson, first signs of emotional manipulation and she gets the boot :P
It happens all the time to me.................kids are experts
Thankfully they are growing up and it's now my turn hehehehe
Thankfully they are growing up and it's now my turn hehehehe
Englishman55: Yep..... was married to one..... until I wasn't prepared to put up with her affiar..... The one time I don't do as she wants... she dumps me. !
Freedom at last
Know this sorry little tale all too well.They get you to jump through hoops like a trained dog and the day you just get too tired they go and find another puppy dog to do their bidding,and you are supposed to sit on the subs bench and let them get on with it ("I knew you,d understand darling").But,like you say,now I,m at peace.Freedom at last
I sure have. Not just emotional either....she knew I wouldn't retaliate as she would have claimed domestic violence and told me so....and due to my being in a Motorcycle Club (the cops in the USA called us an Outlaw Club)and a 1%'er...I would have done time.
Elley: Know this sorry little tale all too well.They get you to jump through hoops like a trained dog and the day you just get too tired they go and find another puppy dog to do their bidding,and you are supposed to sit on the subs bench and let them get on with it ("I knew you,d understand darling").But,like you say,now I,m at peace.
I thought you were in the UK? Did you have a good time?
Sorry for the thread hijack Smoky, and back to the question, yes I have with a jealous Spanish man who would suddenly get really ill for example if I was planning to go out with friends! But that was the first and only time, and I got out of that relationship in the end albeit with the help of the police and lawyers.
I think though that we are all capable of a little "innocent" emotional blackmail at times. If we can recognise it as that, then it´s not a problem.
Hi Elley
Hi Jan,back from England,thankgod (read my other post)
Pipper,you are right of course,there are just as many male twats as female ones,if you get my gist.
Pipper,you are right of course,there are just as many male twats as female ones,if you get my gist.
Elley: Hi Jan,back from England,thankgod (read my other post)
Pipper,you are right of course,there are just as many male twats as female ones,if you get my gist.
Pipper,you are right of course,there are just as many male twats as female ones,if you get my gist.
Ooops missed that!
JAN_is: Ooops missed that!
No puedo enviar un mensaje en el CS,entonces llamame si tu quiere depues.
Elley: No puedo enviar un mensaje en el CS,entonces llamame si tu quiere depues.
Vale, te llamaré a las diez.
Exes, and partners, and spouses… I think we all have been exposed to it at one or another period of our life. And I believe there were situations when we applied it to other people, but…
The worst kind of it is the emotional blackmail coming from your mother when you still are a child and dependent on her in all possible ways: you live in her house, you eat her food, you wear cloths she buys/makes for you… It is stretching for years… Actually for a whole epoch – your childhood. The time comes when you don’t want anything else but get free from this pressure. And yes, the time comes when you break loose… Well, at least physically.
But the bright site of all that is that you’ve developed enough of antidote to resist emotional blackmail coming from other sources.
There were a few persons who tried to convince me that I owed them something after “all the flowers” they sent me…I didn’t even bother to enter the discussion, just shrugged. As they say in Russia: I forgive everyone I owe to.
The worst kind of it is the emotional blackmail coming from your mother when you still are a child and dependent on her in all possible ways: you live in her house, you eat her food, you wear cloths she buys/makes for you… It is stretching for years… Actually for a whole epoch – your childhood. The time comes when you don’t want anything else but get free from this pressure. And yes, the time comes when you break loose… Well, at least physically.
But the bright site of all that is that you’ve developed enough of antidote to resist emotional blackmail coming from other sources.
There were a few persons who tried to convince me that I owed them something after “all the flowers” they sent me…I didn’t even bother to enter the discussion, just shrugged. As they say in Russia: I forgive everyone I owe to.
venere08: Typical misuse of study results
The women studied were from a very specific group only:
They were the 'cheating' group of women out of the huge group of the rest of us women out there.
The results are then very obviously NOT related to those women who do not behave in the manner described above.
The women studied were from a very specific group only:
They were the 'cheating' group of women out of the huge group of the rest of us women out there.
The results are then very obviously NOT related to those women who do not behave in the manner described above.
As the study was conducted by a woman..... I could say... trust a woman to get it wrong !!!
Englishman55: Yep..... was married to one..... until I wasn't prepared to put up with her affiar..... The one time I don't do as she wants... she dumps me. !
Freedom at last
Freedom at last
Emotional Blackmail contains FOG .....Fear, Obligation, and Guilt.
*Do important people in your life:
*Threaten to make your life difficult if you don`t do what they want?
*Constantly threaten to end the relationship if you don`t do what they want?
*Tell you or imply that they will neglect, hurt themselves or become depressed if you don`t do what they want?
*Always want more, no matter how much you give?
*Regularly assume you will give in to them?
*Regularly ignore or discount your feelings and wants?
*Make lavish promises that are contingent on your behaviour and then rarely keep them?
*Consistently label you as selfish, bad, greedy, unfeeling or uncaring when you don`t give in to them?
*Shower you with approval when you give in to them and take it away when you don`t?
*Use money as a weapon to get their way?
If you answered yes to even one of these questions, you are being (or were) emotionally blackmailed.
*Do important people in your life:
*Threaten to make your life difficult if you don`t do what they want?
*Constantly threaten to end the relationship if you don`t do what they want?
*Tell you or imply that they will neglect, hurt themselves or become depressed if you don`t do what they want?
*Always want more, no matter how much you give?
*Regularly assume you will give in to them?
*Regularly ignore or discount your feelings and wants?
*Make lavish promises that are contingent on your behaviour and then rarely keep them?
*Consistently label you as selfish, bad, greedy, unfeeling or uncaring when you don`t give in to them?
*Shower you with approval when you give in to them and take it away when you don`t?
*Use money as a weapon to get their way?
If you answered yes to even one of these questions, you are being (or were) emotionally blackmailed.
venere08: What are they saying?
Nah, just kidding.
Nah, just kidding.
You really don't want to know, and I am sure I have not heard all of it, but to give an example.
I have been introduced to women at parties and as soon as my name is given, they have actually turned their back on me, and walked away.
But, others have actaully remarked to friends of mine, that having spoken to me for some time they really can't believe it's the same guy they had heard about... that, in their words.... "he is actually a really decent guy" and that they couldn't believe what had been said about me.
Just goes to show, that people need to listen to both sides of the story, and that is one lesson I have learnt the hard way !
Englishman55: You really don't want to know, and I am sure I have not heard all of it, but to give an example.
I have been introduced to women at parties and as soon as my name is given, they have actually turned their back on me, and walked away.
But, others have actaully remarked to friends of mine, that having spoken to me for some time they really can't believe it's the same guy they had heard about... that, in their words.... "he is actually a really decent guy" and that they couldn't believe what had been said about me.
Just goes to show, that people need to listen to both sides of the story, and that is one lesson I have learnt the hard way !
Ja, that is very very true! I had the same experience ....... But what was so freaking good about it was that most of the "furtive" and "dark" looks came from his fellow church members ... hahahaaaaa ....... little did they know what a sneaky reptile they had crawling around on his knees and acting all pious on Sundays, and Monday night, and Tuesday mornings, and Wednesday afternoons, and Thursday evenings, and Friday nights .... gee I think the only day he wasnt in church was Saturday, unless there was a Special Gathering of Fellow Clans in the area ....... and then I`d go make the tea, and force them to drink it ........(just joking ... I gave up tea making when they got upset cause I turned down their offers of getting me to be "slain in the spirit" and fall on the ground and giggle and laugh ... silly idiots)..... I have been introduced to women at parties and as soon as my name is given, they have actually turned their back on me, and walked away.
But, others have actaully remarked to friends of mine, that having spoken to me for some time they really can't believe it's the same guy they had heard about... that, in their words.... "he is actually a really decent guy" and that they couldn't believe what had been said about me.
Just goes to show, that people need to listen to both sides of the story, and that is one lesson I have learnt the hard way !
Much nicer to sit in the sun and have a peaceful joint.. braid feathers into my hair, bang on my Djembi, and generally be thought of as a Witch!... kept them away from my house... Actually my pet frog kept them away - he always came out of his shoe to greet visitors ...... and my black cat would bring in a friendly snake to play with .....
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Could be a husband/wife,
a child,
friend,
parent .......
This is a person who gets you to do things you would rather choose not to do .... but you find yourself always ending up doing what they want, and there is no pay-off for you, except peace from them, once they get their own way.