Emotional Blackmailers ....... (51)
Phoenix: It doesn't matter if he dumped her. She had left you. At least in her mind. I'd hazzard a guess she had thought about leaving you before her old flame came back on the scene. he was the excuse for leaving not the reason she was leaving.;try looking closer to home.
Sounds like she knew you better than you knew yourself or at least had all the bases covered
Your ex wife didn't. She slept with him. She seen something in him. More than once.
Maybe they were sticking up for a mucker. maybe you slagged her off a bit too much to one or three of them? Dunno I wasn't there. Nahhhhhhhh leave that bitterness stuff filed under R for rubbish...She was unhappy. Maybe not with you as a person. But she was unhappy (maybe she still is). That's why she left.
It doesn't matter what age she is. They had a trip down memory lane..chances are she's probably done it once or twice before when you weren't looking. Yep he buttered up your ex.
I with you on your last point.
Sounds like she knew you better than you knew yourself or at least had all the bases covered
Your ex wife didn't. She slept with him. She seen something in him. More than once.
Maybe they were sticking up for a mucker. maybe you slagged her off a bit too much to one or three of them? Dunno I wasn't there. Nahhhhhhhh leave that bitterness stuff filed under R for rubbish...She was unhappy. Maybe not with you as a person. But she was unhappy (maybe she still is). That's why she left.
It doesn't matter what age she is. They had a trip down memory lane..chances are she's probably done it once or twice before when you weren't looking. Yep he buttered up your ex.
I with you on your last point.
Ja, sounds quite a good analysis.....? Problem with life is .. that ..... we inclined to "see" others with our own mindset...? Just never really believing they doing what they`re doing....? .. Until finally there`s a Big Bang? And then the natural reaction is to feel hurt about not seeing what was going on....?
smoky: Ja, sounds quite a good analysis.....? Problem with life is .. that ..... we inclined to "see" others with our own mindset...? Just never really believing they doing what they`re doing....? .. Until finally there`s a Big Bang? And then the natural reaction is to feel hurt about not seeing what was going on....?
Thanks for seeing it from my angle..;From trying to read between the lines (not always a good idea)..It sounds like she (his ex) was bored out of her skull.
They may have had 2.4 kids, picket fence house etc....But she strayed from home base because she wasn't satisfied in one way or another. And like I said..he's pissed off because she won't say what made her stray...JMO
Been there, done it, worn the T-Shirt and chucked it away for good!
smoky: Anyone here ever been in a relationship with an Emotional Blackmailer..?
Could be a husband/wife,
a child,
friend,
parent .......
This is a person who gets you to do things you would rather choose not to do .... but you find yourself always ending up doing what they want, and there is no pay-off for you, except peace from them, once they get their own way.
Could be a husband/wife,
a child,
friend,
parent .......
This is a person who gets you to do things you would rather choose not to do .... but you find yourself always ending up doing what they want, and there is no pay-off for you, except peace from them, once they get their own way.
Yep been there done that, never again, one whiff of it and I'm out of there. Really not worth giving into emotional blackmail as it only gets worse and that's after 13 yrs of experience. Guess that's why I'm so cynical these days
I think one of you should start a men's support group.
Seriously.
Seriously.
Smoky
Having been married to one of those passive-agressive silent treatment types... thought for years all he needed was enough love and he would blossom... Oh hell no. He was born miserable, raised to be miserable and chose to make everyone else miserable too.
So you're right Smoky, perception is everything and if you are a positive person, it's hard to believe that someone else wouldn't choose to be too... live and learn
! So true that you can't change anyone even if it's for their own good.
But it does bring up the Present and how in the world to find someone who is on your same page spirit wise
... with everyone so bitter because of, in reality THEIR choices, and painting all other women or men with the same paint brush... is anyone still capable of diving into any concrete relationships?
In response to: Problem with life is .. that ..... we inclined to "see" others with our own mindset...? Just never really believing they doing what they`re doing....? .. Until finally there`s a Big Bang? And then the natural reaction is to feel hurt about not seeing what was going on....?
Having been married to one of those passive-agressive silent treatment types... thought for years all he needed was enough love and he would blossom... Oh hell no. He was born miserable, raised to be miserable and chose to make everyone else miserable too.
So you're right Smoky, perception is everything and if you are a positive person, it's hard to believe that someone else wouldn't choose to be too... live and learn
! So true that you can't change anyone even if it's for their own good.But it does bring up the Present and how in the world to find someone who is on your same page spirit wise
... with everyone so bitter because of, in reality THEIR choices, and painting all other women or men with the same paint brush... is anyone still capable of diving into any concrete relationships?kinseycy: Yep been there done that, never again, one whiff of it and I'm out of there. Really not worth giving into emotional blackmail as it only gets worse and that's after 13 yrs of experience. Guess that's why I'm so cynical these days
Ja, Kinseycy .... that is the pity of these experiences huh?
The thing is ..... to know you are being cynical .... and just keep an eye open ... all the time ... for the signs?
I still battle with this one. I weigh the odds - all the time! So now, as long as the scale is down on their side, things are okay. Dunno what I`d do if he scale tips! Dunno if I`d have the courage I think I have ... to actually DO something about it? I hope I do. Will only know that if the scale does tip!
gininitaly: Smoky
Having been married to one of those passive-agressive silent treatment types... thought for years all he needed was enough love and he would blossom... Oh hell no. He was born miserable, raised to be miserable and chose to make everyone else miserable too.
So you're right Smoky, perception is everything and if you are a positive person, it's hard to believe that someone else wouldn't choose to be too... live and learn ! So true that you can't change anyone even if it's for their own good.
But it does bring up the Present and how in the world to find someone who is on your same page spirit wise ... with everyone so bitter because of, in reality THEIR choices, and painting all other women or men with the same paint brush... is anyone still capable of diving into any concrete relationships?
Ja, it is difficult .. always seeing the High Good Things of other people. My lesson was after some counselling when the person said "What do YOU want?" I wrote that on a piece of paper, as advised, and kept it in my pocket .. and looked at it every time strange things happened ... it worked ... those words.Having been married to one of those passive-agressive silent treatment types... thought for years all he needed was enough love and he would blossom... Oh hell no. He was born miserable, raised to be miserable and chose to make everyone else miserable too.
So you're right Smoky, perception is everything and if you are a positive person, it's hard to believe that someone else wouldn't choose to be too... live and learn ! So true that you can't change anyone even if it's for their own good.
But it does bring up the Present and how in the world to find someone who is on your same page spirit wise ... with everyone so bitter because of, in reality THEIR choices, and painting all other women or men with the same paint brush... is anyone still capable of diving into any concrete relationships?
You cannot change ANYONE. Only yourself, if you want to change yourself?
venere08: Don't got there, smokes!!!
Leave well enough alone!
Leave well enough alone!
Ja, you`re right!..as usual!
When we having another Site Party?
smoky: Anyone here ever been in a relationship with an Emotional Blackmailer..?
Could be a husband/wife,
a child,
friend,
parent .......
This is a person who gets you to do things you would rather choose not to do .... but you find yourself always ending up doing what they want, and there is no pay-off for you, except peace from them, once they get their own way.
Could be a husband/wife,
a child,
friend,
parent .......
This is a person who gets you to do things you would rather choose not to do .... but you find yourself always ending up doing what they want, and there is no pay-off for you, except peace from them, once they get their own way.
Straight up, honsetly no. I've thought about this one hard. Maybe I've been lucky or just stronger willed...I think abit like the truck driver sang about...
If you're looking for trouble
You came to the right place
If you're looking for trouble
Just look right in my face
I was born standing up
And talking back
My daddy was a green-eyed mountain jack
Because I'm evil, my middle name is misery
Well I'm evil, so don't you mess around with me
I've never looked for trouble
But I've never ran
I don't take no orders
From no kind of man
I'm only made out
Of flesh, blood and bone
But if you're gonna start a rumble
Don't you try it on alone
Because I'm evil, my middle name is misery
Well I'm evil, so don't you mess around with me
I'm evil, evil, evil, as can be
I'm evil, evil, evil, as can be
So don't mess around don't mess around don't mess around with me
I'm evil, I'm evil, evil, evil
So don't mess around, don't mess around with me
I'm evil, I tell you I'm evil
So don't mess around with me
Yeah!
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They make statements and accusations which they then deny ever saying, they start rumours and untruths circulating,they bring in the Family,anyone who will without question take their side.
One asked me for a cheque to "help her mother out with the rent", gave her a cheque for $1.200, she added a 0 and cashed it for $12.000, when I asked her about it, she said, "well you said if I needed a bit more to let you know,I didn't want to bother you", she carried on like nothing she had done should be a problem and when I got somewhat annoyed, she said. " typical!, you offer something then take it back!".
To guys I offer this tip, next time she starts all the nonsense, when she finishes, make a note of what she said and time and date it, next time she denies saying anything, read it back to her, I did this and she said, "rubbish, you made all that up!".