In a realationship..... (40)
josingleinspainLa Cala, Andalusia Spain86 Threads 1 Polls 430 PostsWhat to you as a person would be a healthy relationship.What is bounderies that you would lay down. What behavior to you is totally taboo. Do you think it is vital for a relationship to have groud rules...............I have my own thoughts about this so all I want to find out is what does the other people think????????????
I´m not too happy about setting any ground rules from the word go.
I´d rather describe it as a journey of discovery about each other and make compromises as we go along. That only works though if the differences aren´t too radical.
I´d rather describe it as a journey of discovery about each other and make compromises as we go along. That only works though if the differences aren´t too radical.
JAN_is: I´m not too happy about setting any ground rules from the word go.
I´d rather describe it as a journey of discovery about each other and make compromises as we go along. That only works though if the differences aren´t too radical.
I´d rather describe it as a journey of discovery about each other and make compromises as we go along. That only works though if the differences aren´t too radical.
I agree with you Jan. Like I said, the things I mentioned should simply come as standard, but not always easy to find.
Interesting thread Joe .. I kinda agree with the idea of going with the flow of a voyage of discovery, as I think Jan is saying, but there are definitely situations/circumstances that overstep the mark and make ending that voyage a priority - kinda like taff is saying .. sometimes something happens to make it impossible to carry on .. I think most of us been there at some time .. not an easy subject ..
rytcharlie: Interesting thread Joe .. I kinda agree with the idea of going with the flow of a voyage of discovery, as I think Jan is saying, but there are definitely situations/circumstances that overstep the mark and make ending that voyage a priority - kinda like taff is saying .. sometimes something happens to make it impossible to carry on .. I think most of us been there at some time .. not an easy subject ..
Agreed but very intresting how and what we all feel the stepping over the line is............... What will that be??????
josingleinspain: What to you as a person would be a healthy relationship.What is bounderies that you would lay down. What behavior to you is totally taboo. Do you think it is vital for a relationship to have groud rules...............I have my own thoughts about this so all I want to find out is what does the other people think????????????
but it also depends on the law of the land, eg out here if ur married its law that as a married guy u have to go cabaret 3x a week, and bookies another 3, if ur single its only 2x a week...go figure
josingleinspain: Agreed but very intresting how and what we all feel the stepping over the line is............... What will that be??????
her mother phoning up evey morning ... that's a great sign it's time to abandon ship ..
rytcharlie: her mother phoning up evey morning ... that's a great sign it's time to abandon ship ..
Dont even go to mothers in law............My ex spend at least 2 hours a nite talking to his mother. Just about every weekend a 3 hour drive to visit. I put up with that for about 2 years and then i said you can visit and i stay home alone for the next 6 years on weekends.........In the end she got him back and I ended up with no husband anyway...................O well life is life
josingleinspain: What to you as a person would be a healthy relationship.What is bounderies that you would lay down. What behavior to you is totally taboo. Do you think it is vital for a relationship to have groud rules...............I have my own thoughts about this so all I want to find out is what does the other people think????????????
Hi Jo, I agree with Taff, Jan & Charlie, but would add that if a relationship has a need for ground rules, then it is already on a rocky footing..
Both parties should be able to not only show, but also be aware of, giving each other respect as individuals. 
Yet be capable of understanding as we all make mistakes, though it is the action we take from these incidents that will determine the longevity of the partnership, (though other factors may also come into play).. Nice question..
I have ground rules.I am rigid on these ones...
I abandon ship if;
He gets drunk more than once a week every week,
smokes(this is a new one)
takes any drug that i see cause him to be unstable.
Is spiteful,to me or those around him for no apparent understandable reason,or wont explain satisfactorily.
Lies more than once to get himself out of an uncomfortable position,or to make himself look better.
Tries to stop me hanging out with my best mate(who's a guy).
puts me down/generally devalues me.
I abandon ship if;
He gets drunk more than once a week every week,
smokes(this is a new one)
takes any drug that i see cause him to be unstable.
Is spiteful,to me or those around him for no apparent understandable reason,or wont explain satisfactorily.
Lies more than once to get himself out of an uncomfortable position,or to make himself look better.
Tries to stop me hanging out with my best mate(who's a guy).
puts me down/generally devalues me.
In response to: What to you as a person would be a healthy relationship.What is bounderies that you would lay down. What behavior to you is totally taboo. Do you think it is vital for a relationship to have groud rules...............I have my own thoughts about this so all I want to find out is what does the other people think????????????
rytcharlie: her mother phoning up evey morning ... that's a great sign it's time to abandon ship ..
Oh lawd!
Definitely not good.....
tomboygirl: I have ground rules.I am rigid on these ones...
I abandon ship if;
He gets drunk more than once a week every week,
smokes(this is a new one)
takes any drug that i see cause him to be unstable.
Is spiteful,to me or those around him for no apparent understandable reason,or wont explain satisfactorily.
Lies more than once to get himself out of an uncomfortable position,or to make himself look better.
Tries to stop me hanging out with my best mate(who's a guy).
puts me down/generally devalues me.
Thanx tomboygirl at least i am not too far wrong on this 1...........I abandon ship if;
He gets drunk more than once a week every week,
smokes(this is a new one)
takes any drug that i see cause him to be unstable.
Is spiteful,to me or those around him for no apparent understandable reason,or wont explain satisfactorily.
Lies more than once to get himself out of an uncomfortable position,or to make himself look better.
Tries to stop me hanging out with my best mate(who's a guy).
puts me down/generally devalues me.
josingleinspain: What to you as a person would be a healthy relationship.What is bounderies that you would lay down. What behavior to you is totally taboo. Do you think it is vital for a relationship to have groud rules...............I have my own thoughts about this so all I want to find out is what does the other people think????????????
I don't lay down ground rules.
A person either does or does not do determined things because it is the way to go about things and not because I said so. Otherwise it will be like having to look up the "Rules and Regulations Book" all the time.
Arguments are stupid, keep them to a minimum and stick to the issue in question.
No name calling, never.
If it is going nowhere, decide to stop and continue later when both are calmer.
If we quarrel and she is not speaking to me, I don't care who is right and who is at fault. I still go to patch things up. Then we can get to the bit that comes after (making up and all that
) much quicker.tomboygirl: I have ground rules.I am rigid on these ones...
I abandon ship if;
He gets drunk more than once a week every week,
smokes(this is a new one)
takes any drug that i see cause him to be unstable.
Is spiteful,to me or those around him for no apparent understandable reason,or wont explain satisfactorily.
Lies more than once to get himself out of an uncomfortable position,or to make himself look better.
Tries to stop me hanging out with my best mate(who's a guy).
puts me down/generally devalues me.
I abandon ship if;
He gets drunk more than once a week every week,
smokes(this is a new one)
takes any drug that i see cause him to be unstable.
Is spiteful,to me or those around him for no apparent understandable reason,or wont explain satisfactorily.
Lies more than once to get himself out of an uncomfortable position,or to make himself look better.
Tries to stop me hanging out with my best mate(who's a guy).
puts me down/generally devalues me.
At least cabarets are allowed i see you didnt put that in
tomboygirl: I have ground rules.I am rigid on these ones...
I abandon ship if;
He gets drunk more than once a week every week,
smokes(this is a new one)
takes any drug that i see cause him to be unstable.
Is spiteful,to me or those around him for no apparent understandable reason,or wont explain satisfactorily.
Lies more than once to get himself out of an uncomfortable position,or to make himself look better.
Tries to stop me hanging out with my best mate(who's a guy).
puts me down/generally devalues me.
I abandon ship if;
He gets drunk more than once a week every week,
smokes(this is a new one)
takes any drug that i see cause him to be unstable.
Is spiteful,to me or those around him for no apparent understandable reason,or wont explain satisfactorily.
Lies more than once to get himself out of an uncomfortable position,or to make himself look better.
Tries to stop me hanging out with my best mate(who's a guy).
puts me down/generally devalues me.
I'm snooker.......I failes thr first three.
TGB...Doesn' being Irish, devilishy handme..lets you go out with muckers count for anything thesesdays..(always gotta be an exception to the rule)
Phoenix: I'm snooker.......I failes thr first three.
TGB...Doesn' being Irish, devilishy handme..lets you go out with muckers count for anything thesesdays..(always gotta be an exception to the rule)
TGB...Doesn' being Irish, devilishy handme..lets you go out with muckers count for anything thesesdays..(always gotta be an exception to the rule)
lol Phoenix,I wouldn't have had a problem with the first 3 say 2 years ago,but the last year my life is going in another direction than drinking/smoking and recovery,I want to discover other things to do with my time,and I want a guy who wants the same things..
I still think you are way coooool tho
tomboygirl:
I still think you are way coooool tho
I still think you are way coooool tho
Me cool.I'm that laid back, I'm almost horizontal...(now come back to the dark side a have toke)
tomboygirl:
I still think you are way coooool tho
I still think you are way coooool tho
Me cool.I'm that laid back, I'm almost horizontal...(now come back to the dark side a have toke)
Phoenix: Me cool.I'm that laid back, I'm almost horizontal...(now come back to the dark side a have toke)
NOOOOOOO....LOL
Mazza1970: but isnt this 99.9% of women???
possibly .. but that still leaves 0.1% and I'm an optimist
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Created: Jul 2010
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