Love at first sight - Is there such a thing? (48)

venere08: To try and explain, would be to use words for something that goes beyond the mere verbal, so I can understand.

If I may ask, how long did the relationship last, rafaelll?

venere08: How fabulous, tc!...that's the kind of danger worth getting into, don't you think?

venere08: "...forget it, says a psychiatrist and relationship expert who insists the myth of love at first sight is not only untrue but is to blame for many unhappy relationships and failed marriages.

"It's impossible to make those kind of judgments until you really know someone," Livingston said.

"There's certainly such thing as attraction at first sight, and in retrospect you (may) have been right that this was the person, but often those initial chemical surges betray us."

"We're automatically drawn to (those deemed beautiful) on an almost instinctual basis but they may not have those inner qualities that make for satisfying marriage," he said.

"This is why it's so important to know somebody."

In his new book, How to Love, Livingston explains the key to a long-lasting loving relationship is finding a person who possesses most of what he calls the 10 "essential virtues" - kindness, optimism, courage, loyalty, tolerance, flexibility, beauty, humour, honesty and intelligence.

He says a fulfilling relationship is achieved by picking the right partner in the first place, rather than learning to deal with differences.



So it seems it might be possible after all, for some of you out there to claim 'love at first sight' ...

Wondering if your own experiences back up the research.