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pallbearer

I find myself again
Hidden under the brush
I am stronger
I am weaker
I hide

I wish jesus would find me
Seems so easy to me
I lack the eloquence
to be the deliverer of me

A part of me died today
A part no one sees portrayed

I feel the anchor that draws the sunset down
I watch as I see on water colors drown

An example of what I should be is gone
I find myself in the strength of the casket
a pallbearer lifting the weight of it all
I carry the load of tears and lost chances
I carry the load of what should have been
I carry the load of what was right now gone

I carry weights I can not lift
I carry to a stone I cannot shift
I travel a course that can not be traced back
I walk the steps we all fear

I carry something greater than me
And I carry it proudly

RIP Granddad, you a**hole philanthropist
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Nov 2010

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Comments (3)

Christmas1
Very beautiful doll...didn't know you were so eloquent. You loved your granddad. Hugs for you.
Jihadmeathello
He found the balance between being a good man, a philanthropist, and being a complete pain in the a**. In my family he is leaving a hole only I can fill. I am the new anchor to my family, and I am young comparatively. My father is a great man. but as the youngest of three have just become the new patriarch, and I don't know how to deal with it............I need to be the strongest, but right now I feel more frail than I have in a long time, and my family can not see me in this state..........I need to be the spire, but I feel like climbing in a shell

and why I tell you internet people, I will never know........
gnj4u
Hi, pallbearer,
What a beautiful tribute to your Granddad and all the beauty in the lifetime you shared together. I lack the eloquence to be the deliverer of me is something that can be said by us all. That's why we have our faith and our friends. The greatest gift someone can pass down to us is the freedom to be ourselves, not an extension of someone else. Your poem has great insight, tenderness, compassion and strength. carry it proudly! In sympathy for your loss.
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on Nov 2010
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