what am I doing?
just crawling into bed
that's all I'm doing
(were life fair)
it's my 'down' time
as I thrash about in chase of hypnos
invariably, I guiltily rehash
the old hash
that occured during my 'up' time
apparently one has never had enough
of the misery and mediocrity of broad daylight
for, away from the parade
it lingers on
like it or no
for free will is one thing
but memory and conscience
have their own way of looking at things
a constancy
as it were
and I suppose, so it shall ever
well, at least it is someone familiar to chat with
after all, it's one of the processes
in which molehills become mountains
and most nights
I be the worst for wear from
such untender rendering
so I thank myself
thank you, thank you very much
(yet silently pleading,
maybe one day, you needn't be so thoughtful, self)
my imperfections and lack of perfections
are a constant reminder
yet these provide me ever opportunity
in which to also constantly defend myself
never plead guilty
one day I may finally get it right
to where things are 'all' right
at least, in these private conversations, anyway
I've yet to live that day
seems the jury is always assessing the facts
trying to find where the truth lies
oh well
I will always have the opportunity
to right the wrongs
....again tomorrow