some times I sit and ponder
and then I wonder
how my life changed so fast
my only good memories are of the past
yet the present is filled with pain
love and happiness are down the drain
I'm 24 but I've been through more then most my age
I was even thrown in jail and put in a cage
I lost all that i held dear
I cant remember the last time I had a good year
with each painful passing second i prey for the end to be near
death is something I will embrace and never fear
I dont know how many times I can fall and then rise
life is supposed to be a gift but to me its a prize
because its nothing but a battle and not everybody wins
im not innocent I have committed many sins
but that doesn't make me bad because i do great things
yet torture is all this life brings
our actions define who we are but the choices we make will shape our path
it seems every corner comes a new tragedy like im cursed with a wicked wrath
wishing i can change what is written in stone
but its impossible to change the past so i sit here alone
i can see nothing but hardache
this is more then my heart can take
pearls of wisdom gained threw the years
so im stronger now with no fears
except being transparent,unnoticed,and lonely
so i say my final farewell deserted,abandoned,and forsaken but never phoney