Slowly but surely you faded
You sucked away my vanity
Replaced it with insanity
Low self-esteem could have been the death of me
No self-confidence, always felt unworthy
Knock off version of Barbie unoriginal beyond any doubt
Black short and fat and everybody would act as if I didn’t stand out
I was the only black girl in all my classes
And I guess I fit the stereotypes of loving chicken and oh their favourite one "black girls have big asses"
Blonde trophies to the right of me and smart brunettes and red heads to the left
In front of me was their beauty
Behind me lost in the shadows was my vanity
Half dead still clinging on to old memories to survive
Asking me how could I let any girl lower my ego when I won 6 beauty pageants since I was 5?
The memory of being the little gymnastics queen
Who can still do the same moves at nineteen
Long hair and chocolate skin with a little sheen
Put vanity back in business behind a protective screen
I stopped eating I forced the weight to go
I stopped crying and used make up to block them from seeing my true feelings I vowed I'll never let them show
Strange how the bullying turned to loving when I started to look better how that happened? I’ll never know
But all this vanity is like commodity that I’ll later exchange for modesty
At least I can pretend I’ve never felt the wrath of despondency.