Broken

by soquiliquayAshland, Wisconsin, USA

Aug 2012 632 Views 2 comments

Broken

Promises were meant to be broken
They sit there on some quiet shelf collecting dust
And then like a whirlwind, they topple to the ground
The dust settles
And eye sight is lost
I am all alone with nothing to lean on
No one to keep me from an abysmal fall
I can't promise anymore, that I'll be able to survive this
It feels as if nothing is left to give or take
Maybe I don't exist anymore,
and that is why you no longer care
You look through the mirror and see nothing
but the original ugly person who met you a while ago
No hopes, no dreams, no anorexic frame
No golden blonde hair or blue eyes
No fear of god
No rapture
Just someone wanting to believe in herself
You refuse to see the perfections amidst the imperfections
Your love was bought somehow
With money I never had
I am in debt as always
I am lonely
I am alone
I am nothing
I am no one
I'm a made up person you can't see anymore
My tears fill canyons
I've lost my will
I shouldn't be in this much pain
Friendship isn't bought
But you still put a price tag on yourself
How do I live with my head held up
when all the people I thought were friends
Expect more from me than just friendship returned?
I lost you
and you
and you
and you
This list keeps growing
I can not keep it short
I've lost the way and can't find myself
When I don't exist anymore
Why am I; to you, not good enough?
Aren't we all hopelessly flawed?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Posted: Aug 2012

About this poem:

The one friend I had, who promised she'd never leave me like all my other friends have, lied. She left me. She deleted me from facebook, blocked me from Deviant Art, and just because I have had a hard time these past 6 years finding work. She assumes every single city/state is the same and everyone can get hired if they beg door to door. Friendship is not something you find in a store isle with a price sticker on it...you care about people because of who they are, not for what they have or don't have. You care because you have their trust and they're willing to tell you the deep dark secrets from their lives, not because they pulled money out of their purse to buy your affections. I must admit, she was my last remaining friend. So, I did cry, and hide in my own little emotional shell and I don't know if I want to come out again. Not if it means, more people leaving me.

Comments (2)

Ladybee42East Liverpool, Ohio USAAug 21, 2012

Perhaps you see things the wrong side up? We are all flawed, but if one friend leaves you - then the others are true. But if all your friends leave you - there must be more of a reason than you think. It reminds me of archery practice, you shoot twenty arrows and one hits the target - it's not because the other arrows had something wrong with them, it's because the one that hit was the accident.

Interesting thoughts soquiliquay

orientalkoruGlenella, Queensland AustraliaAug 26, 2012

You only need one person in your life to feel complete and that is YOU. When you've learnt to enjoy your own company, people will learn to enjoy your company. When you've learnt to look up to yourself, people will look up to you. I can go on and on my dear girl but you know what I'm talking about. If the last one left; she left because she wasn't a real friend. A real friend sticks with you through thick or thin. Pull yourself together, go out there and show them the person in you they failed to see. It's all up to you. Thank you for sharing