Dear Diary,

I am so mad at Dr. Frankenstein
He wants me to call him dad
I should be grateful for him giving me life
But I wish he would have given me a good brain
Not some criminal brain he dropped on the ground
I have a square head
Two bolts sticking out of my neck
Scars on my wrists and a green face
Every time I try to hit on a girl she screams
I can't even get a prostitute because they scream too
I am also afraid of fire and I really could use a cigarette
It would help calm my nerves so I'm not breaking stuff all the time
Well, I have to say goodbye for now
I see the angry mob coming towards the castle
With their pitchforks and torches
It's not easy being me