Terrance Turkey

by mcradloffPlatteville, Wisconsin, USA

Nov 2012 685 Views 11 comments

Terrance the Turkey

Hello, my name is Terrance the Turkey
Can you do me a huge favor?
Please don't have turkey this Thanksgiving
I don't want to wake up Thanksgiving morning
With my head cut off and stuffing shoved up my butt
There are a lot of great alternatives
Ham is a good choice
For all you hunters out there
Vension is a great choice
Steak is always a winner with friends and family
For all you vegetarians out there
They make a fake turkey called tofurkey
Made entirely out of soybeans and other nonmeat additives
As far as pumpkin pie
It does contain eggs
I'm ok with that
They're chicken eggs!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Posted: Nov 2012

About this poem:

The Bob and Tom Show inspired this, they have a bit called Tom Turkey, Standup Comedian. One of his jokes, A wife walks into the kitchen and catches her husband engaged in a lacivious act with a dead turkey, the exhausted husband looks up and says, "How am I doing Honey?" The wife shakes her head and says, "No, no, no, I told you to pluck the bird!"

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Comments (11)

windyweatherlySan Francisco, California USANov 21, 2012

Well Mac I agree with you...I am a vegetarian myself by choice, and eating meat is once in a while treat like NEW YORK STEAK..but in down under they don't call it but boy Wagyu is the best meat I have ever had which is not served here in our country either..My love took me to Outback in Townsville and hmmmmnn it comes with the sensational garlic sauce and I'm craving right now as I'm writing this...

Happy Thanksgiving anyways, sans the bird...

mcradloffOPPlatteville, Wisconsin USANov 21, 2012

Windyweatherly, thanks for the comment. I havn't been to Outback Steakhouse in a few years, it is really good. You have a great Thanksgiving too.

ganondorfnowhere between nothing, Cork IrelandNov 21, 2012

you can run, but you can't hide Turkey

sorry mcradloff

gnj4uBoston, Massachusetts USANov 21, 2012

Hi, mcradloff,
I will try to put these images out of my head tomorrow and enjoy my Thanksgiving Day - even if Terrance doesn't get to enjoy his! Happy Thanksgiving!

Ladybee42East Liverpool, Ohio USANov 21, 2012

Turkey

you gotta ask yourself do you feel lucky? Well do ya Turkey?

(Have a good Thanksgiving Mcradloff)

Macduff5Newcastle, New South Wales AustraliaNov 22, 2012

Hi Mcrad,

We don't have Thanksgiving here but I love your take on it. There are bush turkeys here and they are pains in the butt if your having a picnic. I'm sure they must be an introduced species.

mcradloffOPPlatteville, Wisconsin USANov 25, 2012

Like Mitt Romney, Terrace lost his plea and is now left overs.

mcradloffOPPlatteville, Wisconsin USANov 25, 2012

gnj4u, Terrance had a bad thanksgiving, he is now stuffed, and not in a good way. Hope your Thanksgiving was good.

mcradloffOPPlatteville, Wisconsin USANov 25, 2012

Macduff5, thanks for the comment. I have heard of rabbits and mice and even kangaroos being a nuisance, but bush turkeys is new to me. I have had wild turkey, it was tough so we smoked them to tender them up. The best way is deep-fat fried, but this year we had it oven cooked.