She took her own life a few years ago now and I'm sure she's happy being with my father.

I used to work as a Samaritan and talking with people who suffered from depression as my mother did was an insight as to how dark things can seem. If I took a call from someone who was severely depressed it would drain all the positivity from me. Afterwards I would feel empty and violated as if it had reached out its dark tendrils over the phone trying to drag me into its morbidity.

What a powerful poem. Though I clearly see the saddness and emotion wrapped within these words, but I truly beleive the BEST poetry is that where the emotion is so vivid in the language. Poetry is a beautiful way to express emotion- especially those emotions that we deny so often. So often we become prisoners of our own pain- where poetry enables a healthy freedom.

Really good work.

I am sorry that you have suffered loss. I understand depression, for it has effected my life also. I have writen about it in a blog. I have seen others write about it also. However, none, have ever,ever writen as well as you have. You explained exactly how depression really makes one feel. Thank you for sharing this with all of us that need to know. It must have not been easy for you. I think you are strong and brave. This is really a sad, but beautifully written poem. I enjoyed reading it. I will pray for you. Take care and God Bless. Peace and Hugs!

Thank you all for your kind words. Like you,I find this a way to release my feelings and moving on. By putting it onto paper, it is like cleansing myself of the pain. I love all the works that you all create here and hope that CS continues to support poetry as an expression of who we all are inside.

sorry for your loss.

I feel the depth of the pain,that you still continue to suffer greatly over, due to the loss of your mother.On a deeper soul level, u feel a sense of guilt,almost like survivor's remorse. Your mother is at peace now, and no longer in pain, but somehow u feel u must continue to carry that torch, as your way of (again on a soul level) saying,"Mom I do understand,how you felt, and why you did what you did",it's been your only way,to somehow honor that, to understand it, by attempting to get down on that same level. Hopefully you were able to do that, and can now rise above it, as her soul, now free from the chains of depression has! My mother too suffered depression, her entire life. We all have a pain body, Eckhart Tolle's book "A NEW EARTH", helped me understand so much about depression,and how it's connected with our pain bodies. Blessings, aware3

Thanks for the advise. I track the book down and read it.

Managed to get a copy... It's so appropriate.. Thanks again

Depression is thought to be taken lightly by so many people, but it should truly be given the respect it deserves, as you have done in your poetry. Im sorry you had to go through so much.
Just keep writing and let it all out!

Thanks, I really appreciate your words.

hallo ther i read your poem and its so touching especially if you suffered a lose,so sorry to hear that.i hope every thing is alright with you.
ALL THE BEST.

I'm so sorry about your mother. Your poem was wonderfully written and so very accurate. I know what it's like to go to sleep hoping I wont wake up in the morning. I've wished I could just vanish and disappear and be non existant, because too many things happened in my life to want to continue living it. Once I actually prayed to god that I would die. That was a really low point in my life.

Anyways, enough about me, props to you. Nice poem, you are very talented and I'd love to read more from you.

Thankx MJ

I've got that low too, but then I realized that I'd done nothing wrong. I'd let myself become a victim when I didn't need to be. So I put the pills back in the box, packed my stuff and left.

Depression can hit anyone and it can get really dark when you're in that place.

Thanks MJ once again for your comments. I'll send you some links to more stuff.




Larry,

I'm sad to hear those terrible things but glad to know God is in your life and you've moved on.

Thanks for your words and sharing that with us.

Hey Quincandy,

thanks.. all is cool...

poetry is just my release.. I have no bitterness.. she is happy now..

Hi Larry,

Time is a great healer.. sometimes you can heal without time too by realising that the shackles we wear in our earthly life (depression, illness, disability) are left when we go to the next..

I was lucky enough to have a father who was a renouned medium and I saw at first hand the happiness transtition from this World to the next brought some people.

Hi MUSIC IS LIFE. Your poem is lovely, very touching. Well the 1 reason why I'm leaving a comment is because I suffer with depression with the past 5 yrs.At the moment I'm thankfully good with past 2 mths but it has been a nightmare, a huge struggle in suffering. I am sick of trying everything & anything in trying to help myself. Alot of bad things have happened in the past including my dear mother's death 10 yrs ago. It's only now that I'll b going 4 professional help as they are more qualified than a doctor. I made that decision to go myself as I want to get better.As the saying goes " u won't know unless u try".

Take Care, flirtycat

Hi flirtycat.. I admire you for your strength in seeking help. There is no rhyme or reason to it and as you said sometimes events such as your mothers death hold you down in the darkness.

I hope that you have the power to fight through this and that the support you get will help you.

God Bless XXX

Music

must feel the agony even the memory agonizes
blessings

Thanks for the kind words

Music is life.
This poem is a brilliant piece of writing and worthy of being in the boldest print.I also travelled this journey with my Mum and it leaves you with a forever sadness in the deepest parts of your soul. I see you wrote this in 2009.Thanks for reposting.I just happened to pick up a book last night from my daughters bookshelf. Happiness is a choice.By Frank Minirth and Paul Meier.
Hugely insightful. And Ive only read snippets so far.You might be interested.The choice of title goes againest the grain for me alittle but its has huge revelation.Have a wonderful day.

I let a sociopath manipulate me and drag me down to the brink of not coming back. Sitting here writing this, a few weeks ago I thought I'd never do again because all I wanted to do was sleep and hide away from me. It was like I was so tired and beat. I had to reduce my working hours to part time because I just couldn't cope but still hung on to my job which I'm proud of. Some shifts seemed so long and exhausting.
I'm as happy now as I was before I met him. I'll never be totally happy but right now is good. I'm writing again and looking for more work. The weird thing is though my poetry is still nearly always deep and dark but I like that, makes it a fantastic read. Thank you for your poem