Going to Bathroom

by mcradloffPlatteville, Wisconsin, USA

Apr 2013 763 Views 18 comments

Going to the Bathroom

I like to slack off
I really do
I brownnose the boss
And compliment him too
My coworker are so jealous
Of all the work I don't do
They don't know the game like I do
Cause I'm going to the bathroom
And I'm gonna sit on my throne
Going to the bathroom and I'm gonna slack off
Going to the bathroom and read the newspaper
Going to the bathroom I love
Morale is low and I know why
Cause I'm always in the bathroom
They have to do their work and mine
I don't care cause I make the most pay
It's not how hard you work but who the boss likes
That's why I'm going to the bathroom
And I'm gonna sit on my throne
Going to the bathroom and I'm gonna slack off
Going to the bathroom and read the newspaper
Going to the bathroom I love
That's right
I'm going to the bathroom I love

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Posted: Apr 2013

About this poem:

A parody of Going to the Chapel. I had this coworker back at a job I had up till 2006 and he would do this constantly. He did get written up once, but still continued to do this. I figure he worked about half his shift and the other half did stuff like this to get out of work and he was the highest paid. He was also my favorite coworker which shows how bad some of my coworkers were.

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Comments (18)

Happygolucky4uTreasure Coast, Florida USAApr 14, 2013

Every job has one. Ours is almost likable. But has a mean streak in him. He likes to antagonize some of the workers who are not in the mind set to growl at him and send him on his way. I loved this it actually bought a smile to my face

fjamesj9701DunkinDonuts, Florida USAApr 14, 2013

Your something else McMadman

When I worked for the government I would go to the bathroom and sleep in stall for thirty minutes. Boring job with great everything , including the bathroom stalls. Thanks for your continuing humor , I think the corner may need that. It seems there has been occasional strife

...Jesse

Poetnumber1St James, Port of Spain Trinidad and TobagoApr 15, 2013

Whats so fascinating about the bathroom,does it have a playstation 3 game with a popcorn machine

Good one Mac

mcradloffOPPlatteville, Wisconsin USAApr 15, 2013

cameal6, thanks for the comment. They do seem to be full of something.

mcradloffOPPlatteville, Wisconsin USAApr 15, 2013

Happygolucky4u, thanks for the comment. We had another one who would deliver pans as a way to get out of work. I worked with him one week and it was only for an hour, but he made time stand still. He was the slowest worker ever.

mcradloffOPPlatteville, Wisconsin USAApr 15, 2013

fjamesj9701, thanks for the comment. Glad I could lighten up the room a bit.

mcradloffOPPlatteville, Wisconsin USAApr 15, 2013

Poetnumber1, thanks for the comment. Other than occasional newspapers, not much more than a place to rest. Toward the end I would bring pages from Reader's Digest and read for five minutes in the bathroom too. Took me 12 years to finally say to heck with it, if he can lounge in the bathroom, I'll do it a little too, but I couldn't do the 15 minutes, I tried it once, it was ridiculous.

darkhorse555donegal, Donegal IrelandApr 15, 2013

going to the bathroom to show it my moon ha ha good one

rapturecapturekerry, Kerry IrelandApr 15, 2013

Hi mcradloff

I swear you are something else...
I always enjoy what you have to say,
because with you its always a winner..

mcradloffOPPlatteville, Wisconsin USAApr 15, 2013

darkhorse555, thanks for the comment. Glad you liked it.

mcradloffOPPlatteville, Wisconsin USAApr 15, 2013

rapturecapture, thanks for the comment. I appreciate the compliments very much.

smmerwindSan Francisco, California USAApr 15, 2013

Mc, your spirit and very informative stories in the annals of life is just amazing. As always, I can't wait to see what you add on my writes because of the total enhancement of the ideas originally conceived.

Thanks always Mc.

smmerwind

mcradloffOPPlatteville, Wisconsin USAApr 15, 2013

smmerwind, thanks for the comment. I appreciate your kinds words as always and glad they give you inspiration for your own writings.

steve1223adelaide, South Australia AustraliaApr 18, 2013

You managed to tickle my funny bone .. made my day

steve1223adelaide, South Australia AustraliaApr 18, 2013

You managed to tickle my funny bone .. made my day

cafetwo2010Harford county, Maryland USAApr 18, 2013

This is wonderful. Slacking on work is not always an easy
task especially when there are to many bosses with eyes
in the back of their heads. We had a guy in our company
who solved this problem by sleeping standing up. He would stand at his metal desk with pen in hand with
his head bowed as if checking off an inventory list yet
be sound asleep. He was our hero. We immortalized him
for his sheer style and professionalism. Lol.

mcradloffOPPlatteville, Wisconsin USAApr 18, 2013

steve1223, thanks for the comment. Glad it made you laugh.

mcradloffOPPlatteville, Wisconsin USAApr 18, 2013

cafetwo2010, thanks for the comment and your own story of a slacker. Standing up while sleeping, that's an art form!