I don't eat by the rules!
I eat what I want!
My shirt sports spaghetti stains
and I got a belly I can flaunt.

When I want food
I can't wait in line all day,
I make people move
and pull my chair to the buffet.

I eat any kind of cake,
chocolate, funnel, or pan.
Wrapped my finger in bacon
and took a bite off my hand.

I'm a Fruity Pebble rebel
built Cocoa Puff tough.
I eat pop rock salads with gravy
until my face is double-stuffed.

I get hungry at 9,
and eat until 10,
and by 10:07,
I'm hungry again.

I eat sushi and connolis
while I lust for burritos
smothered in ranch dressing
and syrup on my Doritos.

I feast like a king
and pillage the table
lay waste to the desert tray
conquer the soup with a golden ladle.

They call me rude,
they call me crude,
they call me the dude
who ate all their food.