Come gather round the campfire mates and listen for a while,
And I'll tell you all the story of the man who never smiled.
He was somewhat of a rover, and his friends all called him John
He hailed from southern New South Wales, a place called Wollongong.

Well he finished up in Queensland where he met this bird named Jean
And together then the pair set out to do the Brisbane scene.
But within a month she left him, stony broke, without a cent
With nothing but a memory,(and a bill for two weeks rent!)

So further North, to Anakie, John chased his silver lining
On Queensland's famous sapphire fields he tried his hand at mining.
Well he made a quid at this new lurk, became a man of means
And with his new found wealth set out to find his love it seems.

Now he got as far as Rocky where he thought he'd stop a while
And took a job as fencer (just to help to pass the time.)
But alas, he didn't last long for he clocked the overseer
And it was round about this time he started on the beer.

Then his bird wrote him a letter asking him to come and get her
Up at Tully (she was with another bloke)
In the bar there at the station getting stuck into a ration
Of Bacardi. (That's the stuff they drink with Coke.)

Well she went with him to Townsville and they found a little flat
And it seemed at last that things had turned out right
But again she up and left him while he was asleep (God rest him)
Not a single word, just vanished in the night.

Now poor old John just went to pieces and got stuck into the grog
For to him (at least) it seemed his life was over.
So he boozed up day and night, they say he looked a flamin'fright
It was a miracle if ever he was sober!

Some folk said that he was "queer"while others blamed it on the beer
And it's 20 years (they say) now since he smiled
He had made and spent a fortune on a bird who had ignored him
I tell you mates, women! Just ain't worth your while.

Well I guess I'd better leave now as I've still a ways to go
Destination? I don't really know, I'm following my nose
So I guess I'll see you round mates as I've stayed here far too long
What's my name you ask? I thought you knew, it's John..from Wollongong.