There were those moments with you,
When I felt so totally at one,
Relaxed in the universe of your smell,
And touch and taste.
I was inside you,
Your mind, your body, your soul.
Two people could never be closer,
I could read your thoughts.
You seemed to enjoy it too,
But I guess it was the attention you enjoyed,
The fawning,
The spasms of lust,
The knowledge and control,
That you were still a woman,
With femininity,
To be desired.
It was all very ephemeral I knew,
You had notions of a God,
And a doctrine of answers,
And an intransigence of will,
And an ordered pattern,
That could not be interrupted,
Or compromised.
Sooner or later it would reassert itself.
And as much as I pleaded,
And was overwhelmed by emotion,
And wanted to believe...
It was always going to be futile,
For the plaything had lost its shine,
The power of attraction was gone.
There was no point in cajoling,
No point in words,
The uncompromising mistakes of the past,
The entrenched perceptions,
Of self were gathering like storm clouds,
The signs were there,
No point in fighting nature.
I was betrayed and cast adrift,
Perhaps at the right time,
For the water was as shallow as you,
And this was never a proper relationship,
A cat toying with a piece of string,
With a glanced hollow smile.
Farewell my dear,
It was not for the want of trying,
I could not fight your demons,
Or believe in your god.
Although we can imagine flying like a bird,
No matter how hard we flap our arms,
We will always remain grounded,
We can stretch out and touch,
But we walk in our own dust.