Tired of the same old boring headlines
we read in the newspapers everyday? Well,
let not your heart be troubled. Here is a
short list of possible headlines I've
created which might possibly catch your
attention.

1. Nassa's Hubble Telescope discovers
a roll of toilet paper on Mars!

2. Cannibal arrested for breaking into
medical lab and eating Einstein's brain.

3. Hillary Clinton's 35,000 missing emails
was discovered today in an ancient Mayan
temple.

4. Police seek large stray cat involved
in murder plot.

5. All school buses to be equipped with
surface-to-air missiles.

6. Doctor's announce that a liberal
application of chicken dung a sure
cure for acne.

7. Supreme court passes law requiring
all political candidates to be clinically
insane while serving in office.

8. A top Hollywood modeling executive
announces that leprosy is now trending.

9. Lonely bachelor to wed circus horse.

10. Thirteen year old boy builds Hydrogen
bomb in bedroom.

11. Possessing genitals to be outlawed
in seven states.

12. Donald Trump is caught groping an
Orangutan at national zoo.

13. Rare footage of Hitler weeping at
a baby shower.

14. White house to be relocated to Las
Vegas equipped with pool tables, a sushi
bar, and strip club.

15. Local funeral parlor owner confesses
to police that seventy percent of the
people they burried were still alive.

16. Eighty year old woman gives birth to
sextuplets in phone booth.

17. Pentagon hands over 'nuclear code'
to transient.

18. A midwestern wheat farmer plows up
a mysterious object which turned out to
be the actual biblical Ark of the Covenant. Inside the ark was found a
petrified loaf of manna, Arron's rod,
and Moses' high school graduation picture.

Feel free to to add to this list. Lol.