Confusion of Hearts


The rainbow day starts with the rising of the sun,
As the early morning sunlight creek´s through the blinds,
The first sun beams of a new day,glancing across her rested face,
It´s warmth stretching it´s golden beams of light over our bodies.
 
I lay next to her watching her sleep, wondering how could I be so lucky,
I was not looking for her beauty,she just appeared as if I were in a dream,
From the first moment I met her, she radiated light and warmth into my life,
Energizing me, making me remember life´s twists of fate.
 
As the day´s progressed,i tried to deny my feelings for her, locking them away,
It seemed as if the more I fought with myself,denied my feelings the stronger they became,
Day after day,month after month fighting,my own fear of rejection and pain,
Denying myself possible happiness, trying to do the right thing for the Angel of Light.
 
When she walks into the room, it is as if someone has stolen all the air in the room,
As she smiles, it is like a blinding light which infects you with joy,
The soft tone of her voice when she speaks, makes my heart skip,jump and sing,
As each day I learn more and more about her, I lose the battle with my emotions.
 
As we talk looking into each others eye´s, the feelings of passion for her overwhelm me,
She looks,talks and smiles, then I observe a nervous reaction written all over her face and eyes,
Now turning nervously away,so as not to let me see the emotions,she is desperate to hide,
Her eyes can no longer hide what she wants them to and it shines through like a bolt of lightening.
 
I nervously wait each day for you to again appear in my life,each day as the very first we met,
Hoping for a few words,a smile or warmth of her eyes to gaze inside of me,
Constantly hoping she will see deep within my soul and set my love free,
That she sees what I feel and how I feel it is real and pure.
 
I still try to deny to myself what I feel for her, what I see beating inside of her,
Each moment these feelings bringing me simultaneously misery,pain, happiness and joy,
Living each waking moment, each day with it all locked agonizingly away, hidden from view,
Denying all that I am,all that I had hoped,felt and dreamed of, slipping into the abyss.
 
For my enemy was time, I had lived more sands of time,
My experience of what had been and what could have been no longer helping direction,
For the age of my years has beaten me down, I now surrender to fate,
The lack of seeing it and feeling it were my enemy bringing me to my knees,
Now I see it and the darkness of the abyss wins through and swallows me, heart and soul, it is full ended, done!