Listen to me and you will be rich
Buy my best selling books on tape:
How to Convince Losers to Spend Their Hard Earned Money on Your Worthless Books on Tape
Using God and People's Fear of Death as a Money Maker
Also, You Bought This Book Sucker, Now I'm The One Who's Really Rich!
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
How about this classic
Hey Fool, I May Write It, But I Don't Actually Live By It,
I Tell You What To Do ,
But I'll Be Damned If I'm Gonna Do It!
Also my other book
You Bought This Book on Tape and I Took the Money and Spent It On
Gambling, Drinking, and Hookers!