I went to a bar that they call the last chance I asked this pretty lady if she wanted to dance She looked at me and smiled and as I began to grin Her boyfriend walked right up and hit me on the chin
Oh gee I guess I'll always be a mess I'll never find the right one for me But I won't frown I'll just sit my butt back down Bartender pour me another shot of JD
I went to a grocery store never been there in my life A friend wrote and told me that's where he met his wife So I walked up to a pretty lady and asked her for a date She turned around, looked at me and whacked me with a steak
Oh gee I guess I'll always be a mess I'll never find the right one in here Feels like I'm going blind while standing in this line Please ring up another case of beer
I went to a party they said it would be fun We all whooped and hollered but I didn't know anyone I asked this pretty lady if she'd tell me her name She just looked, cracked her whip and asked if I was tame
Oh gee I guess I'll always be a mess I'll never find a good girl or friend That party's all wrong, don't wanna be whipped on I'll cuddle up with my bottle of gin
I went to a nightclub that had a good floor show A dozen pretty ladies came walking through the door One looked over my way and gave a little wink Then she walked right up to me and offered me a drink
We sat, we laughed, we talked and talked for a long long while And I was so enchanted every time she smiled I said I'd better make her mine as soon as I can When we got into her bed I found she was a man
Oh gee I guess I'll always be a mess A thousand drinks won't bring me that much cheer I may be alone I think I'll make it on my own Cause I'll be darned if I'll take it in the rear.
~ANONI~
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Posted: Nov 2017
About this poem:
A friend from southern rock band asked me to write a quirky song that they could use as an icebreaker. Now they want more. LOL