In search of my heart...

I spent a lifetime in search of meaning,
Why am I here? Where did I come from? Where am I going? Who am I?
I delved into many of the sacred writings of the world,
I spent years practicing various modalities such as prayer, meditation, introspection, fasting, even,
I spent many years in the various temples of the world,
I searched in thousands of the world’s books,
I earned university degrees,
I spoke with many of the world’s wise, I listened to their thoughts,
Next, I tried the world’s ‘foolish’, I listened to their thoughts, lest, per chance they had the answer,
I counselled many, and received counsel of many,
I travelled far and wide,
Always in search of meaning...

I have seen birth, I delivered two of my daughters with my own hands,
I have hosted funerals, lost father, mother, wife, granddaughter,
I have loved, and I have hated, and I have been loved and I have been hated,
I have great friends and I have great enemies,
I experienced want, I experienced plenty,
I dwelt in lushness, I was born in the desert,
I have been in wars, I have known peace,
Been up, gone down,
Always in search of meaning...

So far, meaning eludes me,
I have come to the conclusion that only I can give anything meaning,
And, “Boy, do I struggle with that...!”

Finally, I draw comfort from the old proverb:
"If you cannot find a temple in your heart, you'll never find your heart in a temple..."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Apr 2010

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Comments (21)

NeverEndingStory
Nice poem Earlgrey but you don't have to look far teddybear
Earlgreytea
Hey, Hedi, thank you for 'seeing' me again today, it's heartwarming to know that at the end of the day, one can have some 'communion' with a few good friends..., even if they're 'pen-pals' across oceans...
Earlgreytea
I 'see' you NES, thanks for the encouragement, means a lot...
NeverEndingStory
And what a subject earlgrey applause Get writing teddybear
caroljoyce
Endless dilemma,has baffled most. Poignantly expressed.Sanskrit philosophy...
That is perfect
this is perfect
perfect come from perfect
Shaantishaanti..glow of satisfaction.
Earlgreytea
Thank you sweet Carol, and thanks for the encouragement NES...
paloma66
Your poems are well written,inspire some of us,they teach me about some things I have not heard of in this part of the world,talking about your experiences in Africa.I really wish you could help me solve a problem I'm battling with,with your wisdom.
Nice poem this one is.Thank you.thumbs up
trurorob
great write Earl, we never seem to find what we search too hard for!!
rob
Earlgreytea
Thank you Paloma, such high praise...
Earlgreytea
Thank you Rob, very, high praise coming from an esteemed soul like yours..., I want to add my voice to the others' :-take a break if you must, but, I hope you will not stay away too long, you're a valuable part of us all...
Ladybee42
ok, i've read this poem about five times now - not just because it's really good, but i thought i might think of some kind of elusive answer for you and i didn't. i stopped and suddenly the answer was there, don't know if you're a hitch hikers guide fan but the answer is --- 42 ---- and i knew it all along..laugh laugh

sorry, couldn't resist..grin
Earlgreytea
Hey, Ladybee, I actually am a hitch hikers guide fan, thanks for your witty answer, it put a very big grin on my face..., lol...
Barrellofart
Very nice work.

I don't expect it to be fanciful- This is really who you are, yes?

I'm happy that you've shared this with us, and I am exceptionally amused at the response, after such stolid narrative, to the question you search out, 'Boy, do I struggle with that!'

So candid!
Happygolucky4u
You made my heart race with the excitement of the poem. Great write. I thought once I had found the meaning and then in a flash it seemed it was goneblues I really liked your ending.bouquet
QuietStormF
VERY INTERESTING WORK.. Your heart has always been there.. it just takes someone or something very special to remind you where you have left it.. hug teddybear bouquet
jazzy75
Earlgreytea - ah my friend...excellent work as always :) Someone once told me "Only in the knowing, will you stop seeking". I believe you are there...bless you...and thank you for another great sharehug
Earlgreytea
Thank BOA, yes, this is really who I am...
Earlgreytea
Thanks for the encouragement, Happygolucky...
Earlgreytea
Thanks Storm...
Earlgreytea
Thanks for the high praise Jazzy...
Happygolucky4u
Went back and reread. A few years later and now I know. I only know two of the things. Why am I here and who am I. These two are enough. Where I came from has little or no meaning to my life and where I am going will only be reached when I reach my end of the journey. Till then I will continue with why I am here. To love, to learn, to be the best person I can be. For who I am is a person who has been born to serve. To serve as a guardian of earth. To try and cause as little harm as possible whilst I am here. And to appreciate the many gifts it has to offer. I love this poem. More today than yesterday. rose
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