Capturing the autumn dawn Leaving the night Into daylight cold
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Posted: Sep 2018
About this poem:
This talks about .... Looking at the autumn sky at dawn. A scenic beauty. As the dawn breaks to a new day, the faint dark night brightens up to a new day. However, it's autumn. Leaving the three warm seasons behind and experiencing the cold of winter. Though everything is being lit up by the warm sun, the warmth disappear to a wintry cold instead. Life can be an autumn dawn. A season of pleasant weather and dawn a period of time which darkness creeps to light. However, as the dawn gives way to a bright sky, it is the end of autumn. Darkness may have left but autumn paves it's way to a winter chill. We may pass through events of life-a dark path then there's light. Night can turn to day and day turns into night again.It's the cycle of life
Enjoyable read, I like your thoughts, please excuse me but should not lines one and two change places, to me it reads better and is in the true essence of Haiku of 5-7-5 syllable lines. Rob
PoshdiaOPShillong, Meghalaya IndiaSep 30, 2018
Thanks rob Yes I agree how syllablically work There are two ways how a Haiku should be written 575 or 353 Well there's mora too... And I put my poem into free style category I will however improve on my writing. Thank you so much I'm open for more suggestions if you have more.
PoshdiaOPShillong, Meghalaya IndiaSep 30, 2018
Namaste elfustacio Yes it's The end of eternity"
themirrorBarlad, Moldova RomaniaMay 13, 2021
It's enjoyable; i still think you could have condensed it more. i do like the separate introduction you set for the reference, "autumn paves it's way" (quoting from it)
Comments (5)
Namastè young lady
Rob
Yes I agree how syllablically work
There are two ways how a Haiku should be written 575 or 353
Well there's mora too...
And I put my poem into free style category
I will however improve on my writing. Thank you so much
I'm open for more suggestions if you have more.
Yes it's The end of eternity"
i do like the separate introduction you set for the reference,
"autumn paves it's way" (quoting from it)