Mohammed is looking nervous
He needs a place to hide
He stole a Bible from the motel
Where he drank and partied all night

It’s his first time in the States
His first time with a girl
His first taste of whiskey
His first time in the world

But Allah does not forgive
Says the Ayatollah
So Mohammed stops to ponder
With an ice cold Coca Cola

These people seem so happy
They even smile when they complain
But Islam says they’re evil
Surely freedom can’t be to blame

But my Imam won’t understand
And my parents will disown me
My brothers will turn their heads
While neighbors try to stone me

Mohammed grips his Bible
Eyes wide with fright
Makes a dash for the bathrooms
But turns left instead of right

A tatooed girl with a gun
Stops him in his tracks
She says, “Don’t cause any trouble now,
Just take a breath and relax..”

If you’re feeling confused
The Pope says that’s OK
Lady GaGa and Marilyn Manson
Say we’re all born that way

Nervous and embarrassed
He ducks into a stall
Where he finds his name and number
Written on the girls room wall

Aghast, he drops his Bible
Open and in plain view
That old familiar passage
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you….... :)