Driving Instructor: “why do you keep coming back Dave?”

David: “I want to pass”.

Driving Instructor: “you won’t pass unless you take the goddam test!”

David: “I’m not sure I’m ready”.

Driving Instructor: “I’ve spent more time driving with you than with my own kids in the last six months!”

David: “maybe another six months and I will go for it”.

Driving Instructor: “in six months I’ll be divorced!”

David: “what are you saying?”

Driving Instructor: “I’m saying you’re driving me crazy! You could write your own book on the rules of the road now get the hell out and take the damn test”.

David: “same time next week?”

Driving Instructor: “piss off! I’m insured to drive and not to be driven mad!”

David: “why are you rolling up your windows?”

Driving Instructor: “same reason I’m putting my foot on the accelerator!”

David: “your indicator is not on you’re not signaling appropriately from a takeoff position”.

(At which stage they give me the V-sign).

Driving Instructor: “Signal that!”

(With that they drive off as I ring another driving school!)