‘THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG’


(Kirk is in a state of panic. The ship has run out of eggs after Scotty set fire to the chickens after his barbeque exploded.

Kirk: “bridge to Scotty”.

Scotty: “woot as at noo sar?

Kirk: “eggs Scotty eggs. You know damn well I never face a day on this ship without my omelettes”.

Scotty: “am doin ma best captain. Ai qannot squeeze aggs oot ma arse sar! Why qant ya replicate yar omelettes?”

Kirk: “if I wanted to eat eggs with no taste I would of made you chef!”

Scotty: “da away crew will be bawk with chickens soon”.

Kirk: “did you say bawk as in chicken?”

Scotty: “captain I dunno wut ta say ya have me walkan on aggshells”.

Kirk: “eggshells? Are you taking the piss Montgomery Scott?”

Spock: “captain perhaps you should sit down”.

Kirk: “give me one reason I should Spock?”

Spock: “perhaps an eggsample?”

Kirk: “can everyone stop saying words with egg in it!”

Bones: “damn it Jim calm down before you eggsplode!”

Kirk: “Christ will you all stop saying eggs!”

Spock: “captain your losing your composure. There’s a simple eggsplanation to your hysteria if you’d just let me eggsplain”.

Bones: “eggscuses eggcuses!”

Spock: “doctor you’re just egging him on”.

Kirk: “can anyone smell chicken?”

End scene