Cow Attack
"What happened to your pickup seat? Is that buffalo track?"
Well, I guess you had to be there. We had a cow attack.
It all began when me and Roy went out to check the cows.
We'd finished lunch and washed our "soap" and forced ourselves to rouse.
We's pokin' through the heavy bunch for cows to take and check.
I spotted one but his 'ol mom was bowin' up her neck.
She pawed the ground and swung her head a-slingin' froth and spit.
Then bellered like a wounded bull. "Say, Roy," I says, "Let's git!"
But Roy was bent on taggin' him and thought to make a grab.
"Just drive up there besides the calf, "I'll pull him in the cab."
Oh, great. Another stroke of genius, of cowboy derring-do.
Sure-'nuff when Roy nabbed the calf, his mama came in, too.
And I do mean climbed up in there! Got a hoof behind the seat.
Punched a horn right through the windshield and she wasn't very neat.
She was blowin' stuff out of both ends till the cab was slick and green
It was on the floor and on the roof and on the cow vaccine.
If you've been inside a dryer at the local laundromat
With a bear and 50 horseshoes then you know just where I's at.
At one point she was sittin' up, just goin' for a ride
But then she tore the gun rack down.The calf went out my side.
I was fighting' with my door lock which she'd smashed a-passin'by
When she peeked up through the steering wheel and looked me in the eye.
We escaped like paratroopers out the window, landed clear.
But the cow just kept on drivin', 'cause the truck was still in gear.
She topped a hump and disappeared. The blinker light came on
But if she turned I never saw, by then the truck was gone.
I looked at Roy,"My truck is wrecked. My coveralls are soaked.
I'll probably never hear again. I think my elbow's broke.
"And look at you-yer pitiful. All crumpled up and stiff.
Like you been et by wild dogs and pooped over a cliff."
"But think about it," Roy said. "Since Grampa was alive,
I believe that that's the first time I've ever seen a cattle drive."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jun 2020
About this poem:
A little bit of light-hearted humor and a smile for you all. :-) "Roy" is my cousin, and he did find the truck and was instructed to get it cleaned out- white glove style- Cost him a small fortune, but it was well worth it. He was also instructed to put leather scented air freshener in it. The windshield was replaced as well. The 'ol truck was sold to a 16 year old boy who had been dreaming of some wheels of his own. :-)
Comments (4)
Enjoyed reading this and getting a sense of the accent!
This is brilliant ......... loved it
Regards Nu
Yes, it was quite messy inside that old truck. Once it was cleaned( which took 4 hours may I add) it was detailed to the max with the new windshield and plenty of leather scented air fresheners. It looked practically new!
It gladdened my heart to see it go to a good home with that young man, and I'm quite sure that he and his buddies are taking that 'ol truck along on new adventures. :-)
Glad you all enjoyed it! :-)